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AIBU?

To be cheesed off with the childminder cars?

60 replies

WelshMaenad · 08/12/2012 08:27

Bit of background - dd is in primary, she's six. She has CP and mobility issues. School is set on quite a steep hill and very busy road outside often resulting in a long walk to gates then very steep hill then steps to infant door. Very early in in dd's school career we established that this was really hard on dd and was causing her a lot of discomfort so we were given permission to bring the car into school grounds so she only had the steps to tackle. This has been a godsend.

The staff car park where we park is quite busy. I have quite a large estate car, out if necessity as dd sometimes uses a wheelchair. We need quite a large area to open the door to get her in, I was told before they marked out spaces that they were going to designate a couple of disabled spaces but they didn't, and the spaces are so ridiculously narrow that I can't park in them if I want to get her in the car. However, I've been using a spot at the far end which is wider, and this is fine as long as nobody parks opposite it, because I then can't get out! There area couple of other parents (both themselves disabled) that also drive into school and we all try to be considerate of one another.

However, the HT has taken to allowing childminders into the car park. No mobility issues, just 'easier' as they can leave their small mindees in the car whilst they pick up. One in particular (one small mindee plus two school pickups, no more than many parents manage!) has taken to abandoning her people carrier at the far end if the car park do I can't get into the accessible space. Yesterday there was literally nowhere for me to park, luckily DH was with me and went to get dd whilst I waited in the middle if the car park then reversed out (bloody awkward) as I couldn't even turn around.

It is fucking me off to the far end if fuck that mine and dd's lives are being made awkward for the sake of sheer laziness. However, I don't know how to brunch this with anyone without sounding churlish and entitled, and I really don't mean to sound churlish and entitled, I just want to be able to get my kid into school safely and painlessly without it being a complete nightmare. AIBU?

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WelshMaenad · 08/12/2012 08:31

Broach not brunch! I don't want to eat waffles with the staff.

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Imnotaslimjim · 08/12/2012 08:33

YANBU, I would bring it up with the school. They should send out a letter reminding those that have been given permission to use the car park should do so in a sensible thoughtful manner, nad only use the spaces marked out

You don't sound entitled at all, it isn't fair that your life (and DD's) is being made difficult by someone else because they're not thinking

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YourHandInMyHand · 08/12/2012 08:33

Surely there should be priority for kids and parents with disabilities. My son's school is similar in that it is smack bang in the middle of a very busy industrial area. A neighbouring business kindly lets parents park in it's car park and the school car park is for staff and those with disabilities. People constantly took the piss and they know have automatic gates and an intercom.

I'd have a work with the head.

I used to be a carless child minder - really don't see why they need to be using staff car park. Pretty sure they shouldn't be leaving little mindees unaccompanied in the car too!

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YourHandInMyHand · 08/12/2012 08:34

Oh the typos! Blush I blame DS wittering in my ear. Hmm

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TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 08/12/2012 08:34

Does this childminder actually know of your situation - can you wait by her car one day and explain it to her?

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mamababa · 08/12/2012 08:34

How exactly is she supposed to know it's your space?!? You seem disproportionately annoyed. Can you not just have a word with her?

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Svrider · 08/12/2012 08:35

Yanbu
Does the child minder realise the problem she's causing?
Have you spoken to her about it?
Your daughters disability means she should have priority
Perhaps a friendly word with childminder, or have a word with the head teacher
Good luck

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honeytea · 08/12/2012 08:35

Have you spoken to the childmider and explained that you need this space? Maybe she doesn't have the same sensitivity to the needs of a disabled child as the other parents with disability issues and she is just not thinking.

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WelshMaenad · 08/12/2012 08:35

The car park is gated, I have a blipper for the gates, but the childminders buzz and the secretary lets them in as the HT has ok'd it.

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HeathRobinson · 08/12/2012 08:36

I don't want to eat waffles with the staff.

^^ Grin

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RedHelenB · 08/12/2012 08:37

Might be worth saying to the HT about your problems but since you had your dh all was well. I suppose if you did park elsewhere you would have the wheelchair to hand?

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WelshMaenad · 08/12/2012 08:37

I haven't spoken to her - its not really 'my' space, I can't ban her from parking anywhere. I guess my annoyance stems from feeling that age doesn't need to be in there at all.

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HeathRobinson · 08/12/2012 08:38

Can you just go a little earlier? Even if you then get blocked in, presumably you'd only have to wait a few minutes as all the kids are coming out at the same time?

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KittyFane1 · 08/12/2012 08:38

Whilst I am sympathetic I think that you are angry with the wrong people.

After school clubs and CM have been granted permission to park there and for good reason IMO. I have seen many CM/ After school clubs try to gather everyone together and get out safely and it's not easy. They have every right to park there too and are not mind readers ( are possibly unaware that their actions cause a problem).

Your complaint should be addressed to the school who need to allocate parking spaces for all. They should Mark disabled spaces out as promised.

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WelshMaenad · 08/12/2012 08:40

Red, I do gave the wheelchair, but the layout if the access plus the steepness of the hill, not yo mention v narrow pavements outside, makes it bloody difficult to manage with a toddler to control too. Maybe I AN being entitled. I just don't want access to school to be stressful and hard. Woe.

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CabbageLeaves · 08/12/2012 08:40

I think you need to talk to the school tbh. Discussing with CM is only going to stop one person. Another will start doing the same and it's not their fault since the school told them they could

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Smellslikecatspee · 08/12/2012 08:43

Don't have kids myself but I'd be a bit Xmas Hmm if my under school aged child was been left alone/ with other young child in a car, even in a gated car park.

I'd have a chat with both the CM first and if no luck the HM. Might be an idea to have a chat with the other parents who need to use the car park, strength in numbers and all that.

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FestiveWench · 08/12/2012 08:43

I agree with kitty.
You need to explain to the HT that the current system is. I longer working and ask if they can revisit their plan of having designated disabled spaces marked out.

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KittyFane1 · 08/12/2012 08:44

I guess my annoyance stems from feeling that age doesn't need to be in there at all. That's not your call. You have no right to say that they don't 'need' to be there. The head has permitted it and there are reasons for this. You may not know what they are but there are reasons nevertheless. Parking needs to be more organised that's all.

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FestiveWench · 08/12/2012 08:44

Feck. Sorry.
"no longer working"

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CabbageLeaves · 08/12/2012 08:44

I don't think you are being entitled at all. I think that the HT is responsible for ensuring DC like yours have good access to school. She is legally required to do this.

For all you know the CM may need access for a similar (but invisible reason) but the HT is the person to adjudicate :). Same as if someone approached you and said their need was more important than your own..... need is a legal requirement so the head needs to make those decisions about provision of spaces

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WelshMaenad · 08/12/2012 08:44

Really Kitty? A total of three children with no additional needs gives her the right to park inside school? A lot of parents have three or more, but it would be pandemonium if they were all granted access. Why are childminders special? I'm genuinely confused.

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KittyFane1 · 08/12/2012 08:46

I am guessing it is to do with insurance OP.

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EleanorGiftbasket · 08/12/2012 08:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouSeveredHead · 08/12/2012 08:47

Your issue isn't really with the cm. I'm surprised that a school has had its car park recently marked and has not allocated any disabled spaces, is it not a requirement?

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