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To say no you can't come to visit on Christmas morning?

(54 Posts)
MrsChestysGlitteryBaubles Thu 06-Dec-12 20:50:22

Sorry, another Christmas one!!

We are having MIL over for dinner this year, absolutely fine, I will love having her and DH and the DDs will too, not a problem to take her.

BUT it was dictated that we would take her from SIL, ie "we had her last year and other SIL the year before so its your turn", again, ok fine fair enough, my issue here is she can't stay away from her house any other day of the year. I should point put she isn't elderly, doesn't need looking after so no

The plan was then to see my family on Boxing Day, it's a bit of a drive to go to them anyway and try be back to make Christmas dinner.

The previous years we've had DHs family over for brunch before heading to my mums so that we can see everyone and as we weren't preparing a dinner in our house it only seemed fair. Ive also went to mass on Christmas Eve knowing his family would be over early in the morning.

SIL has just informed me that they'll be coming to ours again in the morning so they can all see MIL at the one time. So that will be 7 adults and 5 children under 4 whilst I am trying to prepare Christmas dinner. I also wanted the family to go to mass together on Christmas Day seeing as we'll be staying close to home this year.

Would I be unseasonable to say no you can't come over on Christmas morning?

MrsChestysGlitteryBaubles Thu 06-Dec-12 20:51:15

Sorry!! sIL can't stay away from MILs house

She's not elderly and doesn't need lo

MrsChestysGlitteryBaubles Thu 06-Dec-12 20:52:05

Arghhhh

Doesn't need looking after so no one HAS to take her. We are happy to have her over.

SolidGoldFrankensteinandmurgh Thu 06-Dec-12 20:54:49

Just say' Sorry, we've already made other plans'.

WelshMaenad Thu 06-Dec-12 20:54:57

YANBU. Why doesn't she host a brunch and have your MIL over in the morning if she's so keen to have a get together?

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Thu 06-Dec-12 20:56:18

Am struggling a bit to understand your post

Your MIL is coming to yours on Xmas Day, but you don't want the rest of the family visit her at your house on the day ?

I don't get the references to Xmas Eve mass and stuff for Boxing Day then

Sorry, am not having a go

YouOldSlag Thu 06-Dec-12 20:56:39

It's great that you are happy to have her. I hear so much MIL bashing I dread being one!

If this is the ONLY time they can all see her, then YABU, just hide in the kitchen for an hour and give them some mince pies.

If this is the second time they are seeing her, why not get DH to drive her over to SIL's for an hour before bringing her back to yours for lunch?

WipsGlitter Thu 06-Dec-12 21:00:06

I don't get the reference to Boxing Day?

I think you can still go to mass, have people over and cook dinner. It's pretty much what we did/do. Get everyone to pitch in with brunch stuff.

I don't get the references to Christmas Eve and Boxing Day? So in a nutshell, your SIL and her family want to come to yours on Christmas morning to see your MIL?

Why can't your MIL call into your SIL's on her way over to yours?

It all sounds fine except the SIL told you to have MIL and told you she would be coming in the morning on Christmas. No one tells me who is invited to MY house. Tell her to bugger off.

buggerama Thu 06-Dec-12 21:03:25

I am confused too. I have tried rereading it and I still dont get it

MrsChestysGlitteryBaubles Thu 06-Dec-12 21:03:37

Sorry AnyFucker (I feel rude writing that)my post is a bit jumbled, I wrote it on my iPhone.

She suggested it so they can all see MIL at the one time without her having to travel about. I could understand that if we all didn't live 5 minutes from each other.

The past two years I planned my Christmas Day around them so we could all see each other, I would have preferred to go to mass with the family on Christmas morning but went alone on Christmas Eve as I knew we were doing brunch.

It's chaos, they don't lift a finger (except MIL) there is wrapping paper flying about everywhere and they expect teas/coffees biscuits etc so the place is a riot when they leave. This hasn't bothered me the past two years as we left the mess and tidied it up later but this year I'll need to prepare dinner.

I am postponing seeing my family til Boxing Day so I don't understand why they can't postpone theirs.

Santasapunkatheart Thu 06-Dec-12 21:04:14

You are having your MIL for dinner?!!

We prefer salmon or turkey.

Seriously though, have a glass of champers and relax.

It's CHRISTMAS!!!

lapsedorienteerer Thu 06-Dec-12 21:06:11

err.....confused, Christmas Day normally comes before Boxing Day I think?........as she 'doesn't need looking after'.....what's the problem?

Kamer Thu 06-Dec-12 21:06:42

YANBU, say it would be lovely to all get together, how about Christmas Eve/27th or whatever time close to xmas suits you, xmas morning doesn't work for us.

whattodoo Thu 06-Dec-12 21:06:44

Why can't you just tell her you'll not be in as you're going to Christmas Mass?

Totally reasonable to tell her you will be at mass as its not a year for brunch.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Thu 06-Dec-12 21:08:56

I think you are overthinking it

and I am trying to understand your post, really I am

if you don't want to host your MIL at your SIL's demand...don't

you could always try inviting her under your own steam...just a thought

if you don't want to be descended on when you are busy...don't

you can actually do what you want...a novel idea I believe

Misty9 Thu 06-Dec-12 21:09:24

What does your mil want to do?

MrsChestysGlitteryBaubles Thu 06-Dec-12 21:10:33

I want to say we'll not be in but DH doesn't like to upset people so thinks we should just miss mass (basically I go myself again on Christmas Eve) and have them over.

I've also never cooked a Christmas dinner before so would rather concentrate on that than entertaining the masses. We don't have a huge house so it's quite difficult to fit people in at the best of times.

Walkacrossthesand Thu 06-Dec-12 21:11:53

So let's get this straight. You invited MIL for Xmas dinner, the idea being that she would go home that night & you would go to your folks on Boxing day. Now your SIL has invited herself & her DCs to your house on Xmas day morning purely so they can see MIL. Is it unthinkable for them not to meet up on Xmas day? If so, couldn't MIL go to their house/they come & pick her up from yours on Xmas day afternoon? Is part of the problem that you feel you are always the ones to put yourself out around Xmas plans and here it is happening again?

DamnBamboo Thu 06-Dec-12 21:12:23

Your post makes no sense.

Two line summary please, what exactly is your problem?

MrsChestysGlitteryBaubles Thu 06-Dec-12 21:12:47

I actually don't know what MIL wants. I feel sorry for her actually, we've only just found out DH is off and I specifically said if he was working I wasn't cooking (I'm not great) but neither of her daughters said "oh if he's working you can come to us"

marriedinwhite Thu 06-Dec-12 21:13:46

Totally confused but you are inviting them to yours - for that part of it they flow with your rules. Thank God she's coming for Xmas day. Mine's coming on the 22nd and staying until the 29th and is an "old bag" to boot. Have done it like that for the last 22 years - except of course fil died five years ago sad - he was the nicer one. Fancy swapping OP. Mine counts potatoes shock

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Thu 06-Dec-12 21:13:48

If you want to go to mass, then I'd guess you are religious. I think the baby Jesus would be happier if you welcomed your family with open loving arms on his Birthday.

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