To be pissed off... Trivial, organising friends surprise birthday party

[AltinkumATEalltheTurkey]

My friend (A) turns 30 in a few weeks but having a surprise party for her in two weeks time.
While at another friends, friend A mentioned that her husband had a text in his phone about an DJ, and she was wondering why. We all played it down, and didn't say anything other than taking the piss for reading her husbands messages.

I text the husband and said to forward the message to my dh (both are close) and then delete message and too us was the end of it.

However friend B had asked friends A sister about how awkward it was and funny, when friend A was listening to the conversation.

Friend A now thinks I cannot be trusted and is now going to distance herself from me, and is now ignoring my messages.

Now I can see friends A point as to her she thinks I cannot be trusted and thinks I was shit stirring and getting her into trouble by telling her husband she was readings his messages.

And I now can't say anything as the party is a surprise.

I'm pissed off at friend B, as she has a history of gossiping and why she needed to even speak about it is beyond me, expecially in hearing distance of friend A.

I'm pissed off and really thinking of telling my friend of the party and also telling friend B she's a dick and a twat!!!

And not to do all the catering and sweetie trees and decorate the hall etc... And just tell the husband he's on his own.

I've text friend 3 times now, and still no reply!!!

Juvenile, trivial... Yes definitely, but blooming hell try and do something nice and all hell breaks loose and you cannot say anything and have to be the bad guy until next week!!! I just hope she will forgive me.

[Catsdontcare]

Oh god how awful, speak to friend b and the husband and get them to do some damage control. Alternatively ask friend a directly if she is upset.

[AltinkumATEalltheTurkey]

I think that's what I need to do, but how do I explain if she says well you told husband about text??

Arg

[PickledInAPearTree]

Just ignore it with friend a. It's not her fault and she will be embarrassed when she knows.

Friend b sounds like the problem.

[PickledInAPearTree]

If it only next week just don't mention it till then then give her a hug and say can you see why now you big daft sausage.

[EuphemiaInExcelsis]

This is one reason why surprise parties are a stupid idea; the guest of honour invariably ends up hurt or pissed off! All that sneaking around and whispering behind someone's back - horrible!

[Gingerodgers]

I would hate hate hate to have a surprise party. Will your friend enjoy, I suppose some people must, or no one would ever have them.

[abbierhodes]

I think you need to speak to the husband and get him to do damage limitation.

I agree with Euphemia- I've always told my family that I'd love a surprise, but I wouldn't like to be upset during the run up to it. I'd find it too hard to calm down and enjoy myself. They once threw a party for my grandmother which involved them all 'forgetting' or pretending they couldn't be there to celebrate with her- the idea being that it would be even more fun because she wasn't expecting it. Well, that wouldn't have worked on me! I think I'd have been too upset that they'd forgotten my milestone birthday to enjoy it when they finally revealed the surprise!

[SixFeetUnder]

My mum did exactly this to me when I was 16 abbierhodes All my friends were 'busy' or 'washing their hair' (yes, one of them did actually use that as their excuse). The hurt that no one could be bothered was not outweighed when I walked in and they were all sitting there, actually felt like telling them all to bog off home they'd upset me that much!

[purplecrayon]

Id go straight to friend A and say look, we were organising you a surprise party and this is why we took the piss re the texts etc. tell her that clearly it has got out of hand so you're coming clean about it now to clear the air.

Personally I hate surprises and surprise parties. Are you sure your friend will enjoy the surprise? I would hate it and the agro caused by sneaking around might not actually be able to be undone.

Perhaps friend A might do the decs/sweets with you!!

[AltinkumATEalltheTurkey]

She will hate the party idea, but it's a suprise within itself as her cousin (who she adores) is coming over from Northern Ireland, and also her best friend who is coming over from Australia.

Once their I'm sure she will understand, it's her husbands idea to do the suprise party.