to have absolutely no idea what this man's problem is.

(116 Posts)
TandB Thu 06-Dec-12 09:19:37

I need the collective overactive imagination of Mumsnet to help me work this out!

DS1 goes to a pre-school attached to a school on a residential road. All the houses have large driveways so none of the residents park on the road. If there is an event on at the school or if you are trying to drop off around school drop-off time, you tend to have to park a long way away, but if you do an 8am drop-off and a 6pm pick-up like I do, there is no problem.

The driveways are all two large car lengths apart, so as long as everyone parks normally, you can fit several cars very close to the gate. You then have to walk through the school grounds so it doesn't make much difference whether you are the first car or the sixth car in line - it adds about 10 seconds onto a two or three minute walk.

There are some pre-school parents who always park right in the middle of the two spaces so that everyone else gets pushed further and further back down the road, but it still isn't a problem at that time of the morning. I am generally one of the first people there so I am usually the closest to the gate anyway.

Yesterday morning I dropped DS1 off and went back to the car. As I got in, a man pulled into the space behind me and sat there with the engine running. I didn't particularly register what he was doing as some of the older children for the breakfast club just get dropped at the gate so their parents don't get out of the car. I turned the engine on and then suddenly realised I had left my bag in the boot with my bottle of water, so I got out and walked round to the boot. The dad and the two children were still sitting in the car. At this point I did notice him as he was stopped so close to me that I couldn't actually get between him and my car and had to lean over to open the boot. He was staring at me and tapping his fingers on the wheel. I thought his kids might have been faffing around and he was in a hurry to get going. I got back in the car and pulled forward to turn round.

At this point he drove forwards about 4 feet so that he was half in my space and half in his and parked. I turned round and found I couldn't get past because he had opened his driver door fully and left it open - it is a narrow road. I waited, expecting him to close it, whereupon he looked at me, smirked and gave me a sort of "ha!" nod, and made no attempt to close the door. He eventually did close it and I drove off with him glaring and shaking his head at me.

I was bemused but put it down to him having a bad morning and focussing on some complete non-event - although I still couldn't work out why he was so desperate to park 4 feet further forward.

I passed him in the school grounds at pick up time and got another glare and a head-shake which was a bit bizarre, but no further parking shenanigans as he had managed to secure the front parking space this time.

Anyway, this morning I was again the first one there and when I came back to the car, the same man was already sitting in the space behind me, engine running, kids in the car. I did a bit of a double-take, because it looked suspiciously as though he was actually waiting for me to come back and move the car. Sure enough, I got in and drove out, at which point he once again moved forward so that he was right in the middle of the two spaces. And again, there was glaring and head-shaking as I drove back past him, although no silly buggers with the door.

I have wracked my brains about what the parking issue could be, that is so major that he has to actually wait for me to come out so that he can move into the space. The distance involved is so negligible that it can't possibly be a mobility issue - he and his children appear to have no difficulties in walking up to the pre-school, and even if there were issues in that respect, a distance of 4 feet is going to make no difference whatsoever. The only thing I can possibly think of is that he is precious about his car (a jag) and wants to park in the middle of the spaces so no-one can park too close and bump the car, but is too lazy to park in the next pair of spaces. Or has he always parked there before and now thinks of it as HIS space?

Am I uneasonable to continue to park in this space? And can anyone think of any explanation at all?! And why do I attract the driving/reversing/parking lunatics?

Plomino Thu 06-Dec-12 11:36:16

As long as you frown at your phone intently , he won't know you're playing Angry Birds , will he ? I'd have to shake my head at his car, whilst saying loudly to my children whilst walking past 'What a shame that man has to park his car in a space for two . It must be terrible to be so incompetent . '

FestiveWench Thu 06-Dec-12 11:37:15

start spreading rumours that he is stalking you...

whenever you turn around he seems to be there...

EarnestDullard Thu 06-Dec-12 11:39:43

Bizarre. From your description I really can't fathom what he thinks you're doing wrong. He's obviously enjoying being aggrieved over some imagined slight though, so you need to ask him what exactly has got his knickers in such a twist. Then you can knock him off his high horse and point out that he's being a twat.

GoldQuintessenceAndMyhrr Thu 06-Dec-12 11:45:19

He is either an entitled twat who is desperate for you to notice him, as he feels he has some sort of control over you with his behaviour. (I see nothing wrong in what you are doing. DONT give up your space, pretend not to notice him at all)

Or he is married to the silly bint on the long country lane.

They are OUT TO GET YOU! shock

penguinplease Thu 06-Dec-12 11:49:57

I haven't read all the replies but I hate shit like this. If he has a problem with you why doesn't he just tell you, what with all the look, finger tapping and game playing.

If I were you I would actually ask him what his problem is, mostly I find that people who are happy to treat you badly and insinuate you have done soemthing wrong are totally taken aback when you approach them about it.

Spineless fuck.

"I'm not sure I can bring myself to park like a twat."
You said the gaps could take two cars - you currently park in the front half of the first space, how about if you parked in the rear half instead? Definitely not parking like a twat, indeed being very considerate in allowing someone else to be a whole two metres closer to the school. Only a very selfish and entitled someone who wants the whole space to themselves would have a problem with that. Because he they would then either loiter in the second gap even more enraged, or have to put a bit of effort into reversing into the front half of their preferred gap. <whistles innocently>

Explanation - he is a twat. A gold-plated, Jag-driving twat.

Pixieonthemoor Thu 06-Dec-12 11:59:15

I was just about to write what Penguin has written. He is all brave when you are in your car with his stupid head shaking etc but I doubt he will be such A Big Man if you directly ask him if he would kindly explain just what (in his tiny-minded little opinion) you are doing wrong. Arsehole - bet he wouldn't do it to a man.

JuliaScurr Thu 06-Dec-12 11:59:57

grin @ folkelf He is man

HullyEastergully Thu 06-Dec-12 12:00:46

PLEASE ask him

lashingsofbingeinghere Thu 06-Dec-12 12:01:33

Is it time to buy/borrow a fold up bike which you can very visibly remove from your boot and pedal off into the distance, leaving twatman foaming at the exhaust?

MadBanners Thu 06-Dec-12 12:01:57

See, you have all the power in this situation! ALL THE POWER! For the good of mankind you need to use it responsibly by using it to annoy twats.

NoKnidForABed Thu 06-Dec-12 12:08:10

Maybe he is suffering from car dysmorphia: he thinks his car is longer than it actually is and therefore he needs two parking spaces. Maybe this also applies to parts of his body?

Or maybe he is just a twat.

Frontpaw Thu 06-Dec-12 12:12:01

You have to walk slowly back to the car... open the door...get into the driver seat and faff about for a while...then get out, lock the door and walk off in the opposite direction. He will probably spontaneously combust.

ChippingInAWinterWonderland Thu 06-Dec-12 12:15:31

Maybe he can't reverse the jag?? grin

purplecrayon Thu 06-Dec-12 12:19:31

I'd report him to the school for:

a. Intimidating you
B. using his door deliberately to stop you moving away.

Make a note of his reg no anyway.

He sounds like an arrogant wierdo anyway.

cfc Thu 06-Dec-12 12:21:42

I have found in a kind of similar sitch in the past that a concerned look plastered on your face and a "are you ok?" usually puts them at odds with themselves. X

It's easier than asking "what's your FUCKING problem, you jagwanker?"...passive aggressive yes, but might work for you!

ChippingInAWinterWonderland Thu 06-Dec-12 13:21:01

PurpleCrayon - another thing you'd report to a school?! It's nothing to do with the school. Do you have a direct line to your kids school?

SuePurblyFeltYourPresents Thu 06-Dec-12 13:22:37

Oh you have to ask. I'd need to know.
Also signs, yes.

<stupidly happy at another parking thread>

TheCortanaThatStoleChristmas Thu 06-Dec-12 13:33:03

<happy sigh>

I love a good parking thread.

<not helpful>

CelineMcBean Thu 06-Dec-12 13:37:19

He is obviously very small of cock.

I would give a cheery "Morning!" and wave every time you see him. That will piss him off more than anything else. Or get a "douchecanoe" bumper sticker

cfc Thu 06-Dec-12 14:34:53

Report him to the School? Report him to the Police?!!!!

[Hmm]

DingDongKethryverilyonHigh Thu 06-Dec-12 14:38:54

you need to write a sign, put it in your window.

it should say

"Hey, Cuntmuffin, get in your Douchecanoe, cry me a river and sail the fuck away"

ImperialSantaKnickers Thu 06-Dec-12 14:40:36

I'm a bit thick me. What's all the 'douchecanoe' stuff?

cumfy Thu 06-Dec-12 14:45:31

How about turning round first and parking facing away from the school in the place he comes up behind you ?

That may confuse the fuck out of him!

WankbadgersBauble Thu 06-Dec-12 14:46:41

I'm even more convinced he's a douchecanoe, and more than a bit of a knobgoblin!
You could blow kisses! Obviously he's waiting for a sight of your wonderful self!

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