to have absolutely no idea what this man's problem is.

(116 Posts)
TandB Thu 06-Dec-12 09:19:37

I need the collective overactive imagination of Mumsnet to help me work this out!

DS1 goes to a pre-school attached to a school on a residential road. All the houses have large driveways so none of the residents park on the road. If there is an event on at the school or if you are trying to drop off around school drop-off time, you tend to have to park a long way away, but if you do an 8am drop-off and a 6pm pick-up like I do, there is no problem.

The driveways are all two large car lengths apart, so as long as everyone parks normally, you can fit several cars very close to the gate. You then have to walk through the school grounds so it doesn't make much difference whether you are the first car or the sixth car in line - it adds about 10 seconds onto a two or three minute walk.

There are some pre-school parents who always park right in the middle of the two spaces so that everyone else gets pushed further and further back down the road, but it still isn't a problem at that time of the morning. I am generally one of the first people there so I am usually the closest to the gate anyway.

Yesterday morning I dropped DS1 off and went back to the car. As I got in, a man pulled into the space behind me and sat there with the engine running. I didn't particularly register what he was doing as some of the older children for the breakfast club just get dropped at the gate so their parents don't get out of the car. I turned the engine on and then suddenly realised I had left my bag in the boot with my bottle of water, so I got out and walked round to the boot. The dad and the two children were still sitting in the car. At this point I did notice him as he was stopped so close to me that I couldn't actually get between him and my car and had to lean over to open the boot. He was staring at me and tapping his fingers on the wheel. I thought his kids might have been faffing around and he was in a hurry to get going. I got back in the car and pulled forward to turn round.

At this point he drove forwards about 4 feet so that he was half in my space and half in his and parked. I turned round and found I couldn't get past because he had opened his driver door fully and left it open - it is a narrow road. I waited, expecting him to close it, whereupon he looked at me, smirked and gave me a sort of "ha!" nod, and made no attempt to close the door. He eventually did close it and I drove off with him glaring and shaking his head at me.

I was bemused but put it down to him having a bad morning and focussing on some complete non-event - although I still couldn't work out why he was so desperate to park 4 feet further forward.

I passed him in the school grounds at pick up time and got another glare and a head-shake which was a bit bizarre, but no further parking shenanigans as he had managed to secure the front parking space this time.

Anyway, this morning I was again the first one there and when I came back to the car, the same man was already sitting in the space behind me, engine running, kids in the car. I did a bit of a double-take, because it looked suspiciously as though he was actually waiting for me to come back and move the car. Sure enough, I got in and drove out, at which point he once again moved forward so that he was right in the middle of the two spaces. And again, there was glaring and head-shaking as I drove back past him, although no silly buggers with the door.

I have wracked my brains about what the parking issue could be, that is so major that he has to actually wait for me to come out so that he can move into the space. The distance involved is so negligible that it can't possibly be a mobility issue - he and his children appear to have no difficulties in walking up to the pre-school, and even if there were issues in that respect, a distance of 4 feet is going to make no difference whatsoever. The only thing I can possibly think of is that he is precious about his car (a jag) and wants to park in the middle of the spaces so no-one can park too close and bump the car, but is too lazy to park in the next pair of spaces. Or has he always parked there before and now thinks of it as HIS space?

Am I uneasonable to continue to park in this space? And can anyone think of any explanation at all?! And why do I attract the driving/reversing/parking lunatics?

TandB Thu 06-Dec-12 09:46:17

I may need to take a morning off in order to have time to try one of these suggestions.....

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock Thu 06-Dec-12 09:47:06

next time you see him, wind the window down/get close enough if walking, make sure he hears you and say "you're a very strange man" and drive off laughing. make sure he sees you laughing. or in fact you could just laugh everytime you see him without actually saying anything. he's a dick. laugh at him to make sure he feels like one.

stifnstav Thu 06-Dec-12 09:48:15

<writes down douchecanoe>

Write "Douchecanoe" on a big piece of paper and put it in your back window so he sees it when he pulls up behind you, then walk back pointing at the sign and then at him, mouthing "yeah, you, you douchecanoe!"

BirdyTweetTweet Thu 06-Dec-12 09:48:47

Are you the same poster that had an epic post about a stand-off involving reversing on a country road?

SuffolkNWhat Thu 06-Dec-12 09:48:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LtXmasEve Thu 06-Dec-12 09:50:45

Pretend to take a photo of him? Or to be getting a phone call "Yes! He's here again...No, No, he is ......oh God this is soooooo funny, you've really got to come and see him Roger....No really, I'm not lying.....Yes, there really is a man that waits so he can move his car 4 feet....Oh I know, I know.....Barabara WAS telling the truth after all.....To think we were all laughing at her in the pub that night when she described him....."

grin

Naysa Thu 06-Dec-12 09:51:27

Take a morning off work,if possible. Maybe drop the kids off and give yourself a nice mani-pedi in the car, maybe catch up on that book you've been dying to read? A face mask? An in car spa?

And of course get a bumper sticker that says "If you're close enough to read this, you're a massive twat".

TeentheBean Thu 06-Dec-12 09:57:03

Well, he is only a man, so that explains a lot. Perhaps he thinks that people might need to come out of their drive and hit his precious car, so he thinks by parking in the middle he will be 'safe'. Or maybe he just has big car syndrome, big car, little ............ and is a total wanker show-off.

StanleyLambchop Thu 06-Dec-12 09:57:11

The only thing I can possibly think of is that he is precious about his car (a jag)

That, and the douchecanoe thing!!

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock Thu 06-Dec-12 09:58:28

yes! park in the middle to start with.

TandB Thu 06-Dec-12 09:59:19

Yes. I am non reversing woman. I am starting to think I am unreasonable for even attempting to drive or park in my local area. Clearly I am inconveniencing someone every time I leave my house!

The lanes have once again been re-taken by the commuters. I have pretty much given up on trying to enforce a fair distribution of reversing. Fortunately I am usually going with the flow of traffic now so there aren't quite so many blood pressure raising stand-offs.

Although I did have a run-in with someone who genuinely appeared to thinking was wrong to even be in the lanes at all. I was almost at the end of a narrow stretch when he came belting up the hill in the opposite direction and overshot the passing place so I had to stop. He pulled back into the passing space and I went past, at which point he started tooting his horn at me. Clearly I should have known he was coming and made no attempt to leave my house until he had passed by.

I need to win the lottery so I can be picked up by helicopter every morning.....

TandB Thu 06-Dec-12 10:01:08

I'm not sure I can bring myself to park like a twat. What if other people see me and think I can't park?!

youparklikeacunt.com/ was made for this fella.

sue52 Thu 06-Dec-12 10:04:57

Could he be related to the country lane non reversin woman? Maybe they are genetically inclined to be knobs.

blackeyedsusan Thu 06-Dec-12 10:05:07

oo kungfu... time to get the mn picnicers out again!

TandB Thu 06-Dec-12 10:11:23

Nobody get too excited about this. I probably won't see him tomorrow. It is always really quiet on a Friday - I assume a lot of people have Fridays off - I only ever see the same two parents at Friday drop-off and neither of them is him.

Although he might turn up just to guard his parking space.

ParsingFancy Thu 06-Dec-12 10:16:48

Ooh ooh ooh, 'tis a kungfupannda car wars thread! grin

<makes tea and toast and settles in comfortably to read from start>

hattifattner Thu 06-Dec-12 10:21:42

im all for a quick squiz of the newspaper for 5 mins of so when you get back to your car. But make sure you have switched on your ignition, so he is hopeful you are about to leave. Then apply your make up in the rear view mirror (if he is still there) so you can see his red face and drumming fingers. Keep this up for at least 20 mins.

PessaryPam Thu 06-Dec-12 10:25:19

I would maybe report your concerns about him to the police if it happens again.

TandB Thu 06-Dec-12 10:42:02

I think the police might be a bit of an overreaction!

If he starts waving an axe around and screaming 'get out of my space, bitch!' I will obviously reconsider.....

Are there any Christmas Fayres or Nativity Plays coming up? You don't want to be given evils throughout the performance. sad

ChaoticforlifenotjustChristmas Thu 06-Dec-12 11:19:33

kungfu you really do attract them don't you? grin

It's just a pity you don't know any of the residents. If you did you could go and have a cup of tea with them and wave and smile to him as you pass on your way there grin

SleighbellsRingInYourLife Thu 06-Dec-12 11:23:26

"Unfortunately checking emails or making phone calls is a non-starter because this particular road is a phone signal blackspot of doom."

All the more reason grin

ohfunnyface Thu 06-Dec-12 11:31:51

Just ask him- say: do you have a problem with the way I drop off my children? Would you mind telling me as I don't appreciate the looks.

BlueberryHill Thu 06-Dec-12 11:33:12

Approach his car brandishing a piece of mistletoe, I'm sure he'll find somewhere else to park.

What is it with men (huge gnereralisation I know but its a 80/ 20 split on this one) and their head shaking, looking sorrowful as though you don't know what you are doing breaking some unwritten rule only twats know.

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