Mumsnet Talk

H and I divorced 5 years ago, amicable split and he had our DS 50:50 split with me.

He works full time and his mum will collect DS on a Monday from school however he has now informed me that his new gf will be collecting DS. He has met her online and she's been staying with them for about 2 week now but has pretty much moved in full time. My DS has come back twice this week now saying "He'll cast a spell on people he doesn't like"

I thought nothing more off it until he asked me this afternoon for a set of robes. I asked a few more questions about why he wants this and was told XW has said I need some if I am join in with her ceremonies.

I'm a active member of the Methodist church and DS is christened, we attend each week. H used to attend but his faith is his business.

I've spoken to him this afternoon to find out what's been going on, he's told me his New gf is a witch, is an active member and he's interested in it a bit now as well. When I asked what DS has been involved in he said he thinks his gf ha probably done a few ceremonies and spells with him and what's the harm ?

Am I being unreasonable to ask that DS is NOT to be involved in this ? It makes me really uncomfortable. DS is 8 and very impressionable.

I see no harm, but then I'm not religious and do find paganism and wiccanism interesting, I read tarot cards etc. It's nothing to do with devil worship or anything like that - it's more to do with respecting nature, the elements etc.

If she belonged to a different religion, lets say she was a practising Hindu or Buddhist, and was involving your DS, would you feel the same?

YANBU

Nothing to do with her being a witch.

Everything to do with the fact she's known your son for all of 2 minutes.

My ex and his family are Wiccan. As a religion, it's far less harmful than any strain of Christianity. YABU. Feel free to educate yourself before being judgemental.

don't get him robes and say no, you don't want him involved.

Ask more about this. Is it wicca? What exactly do they mean by 'witch'

If it's some sort of paganism - that predates christianity and all the major christian festivals were put over pagan festivals - yule became christmas, spring solstice became easter (eostre), etc and many of the things that are done have their roots in paganism. logs. eggs. feasting. mistletoe ... the christmas tree!!!

And let's be honest. worship nature and goddesses v worship god.

tom-ay-to tomato.

so don't start panicking. Find out more information.

YABU why don't you educate yourself on witchcraft and wicca before coming across all holy. The main bits of chritianity are based on pagan ways anyway. In fact if you celebrate christmas and easter your celebrating pagan festivals.

Absolutely agree with MaxPepsi, who on earth entrusts their son to some women they've met online after 2 weeks.

Insist on your MIL caring for him until he can collect DS after work, or a proper ofsted registered Childminder like the rest of us do.

I'd be more concerned about my child being introduced to a new partner so soon, if I'm honest.

I'd be about the witch stuff mainly because I'm not a big fan of religion, whatever form it is.

doesn't sound like the gf is a very responsible witch/wiccan if she's involved an 8 year old in spells though, I'ld be concerned.

Firstly (from the little i do know) the main Wiccan creed is do no harm to others. Spells are mostly for healing etc. So if he is coming back going on about her putting spells on people they don't like then she either hasn't got a clue or isn't proper Wiccan or pagan.... hmmm.

Nothing more valuable to add really but thought that was worth a mention.

the Wiccan stuff (would be surprised if she called it witchcraft) would not bother me. Their rituals are more like prayers with props to centre themselves. My mil is a 'witch'. Shockingly she is lovely.

However wiccans nor most witches do not put spells on 'people'. Its against their beliefs mainly. Especially negative ones.

I am concerned that you ex doesn't know her and she could be in the small minority of cuckoos.

I would concentrate on that rather than the religion.

Does your ex know her and been with her for a while and she's just been staying for 2 weeks or has it just been the last 2 weeks he's known her.

Is it possible that he's completely misunderstood? Maybe she was trying to explain it to him? Oh yes, we wear robes, we do x, y, z

But then, what's this about 'probably done a few...' where was he at the time if it's 'probably'? done with him or explained to him? shown him in a run through way rather than performed - iyswim.

and did the man or the child request robes? If the child, could that have come from her simply describing what's worn?

If someone is taking a child they barely know and saying you need robes and let's perform these ceremonies... they are seriously weird.

Just try to get as much info from the adults as you possibly can. rule out that your 8 year old is getting things wrong.

Yes, fairy. the wiccan rede.

Duck her on a stool into the river, if she lives, she must be a witch, if she dies, she wasn't a witch.

I can't see the difference between believing in witches and believing in god tbh. It's just another set of beliefs, and as long as it's something positive and for good then I can't see the problem.

im a Witch and my dc do small little rituals with me, nothing more, when they are older they can if they wish do more,

please dont jump to conculsions, get your facts before you wade in

and not all Witchs are wiccan, (im not wiccan)

Witchcraft/Wicca/pagan/whatever = totally bloody irrelevant.

Total stranger = entirely bloody relevant.

Let's not get the cart before the horse here.

i'm not even going to post on this.. i'm too pissed off.

sick to death of predjudice against my religion.

can you imagine this if the gf was muslim or jewish?

she's not worshipping the fucking devil for gods sake.. spells and ceremonies ARE PRAYERS, just the pagan kind.

Wouldn't be happy with a stranger moving in to my kid's life after about two seconds, and wouldn't be happy with any religious indoctrination either.

I think it sounds an awful lot like he's misunderstood, perhaps he heard the word 'witch' and interpreted it as someone who casts bad spells on people they don't like.
Although i'm not a follower myself paganism/wicca etc is an absolutely lovely belief system, all about the changing seasons and being respectful to nature/ people. IMO, it's not really that much different to Christianity.
I would be concerned about the fact the your exH hasn't known the woman for very long, but i would leave this woman's religion out of it, each to their own and all that.

agree with others. it's no different than you worshipping your god. she believes in this you believe in whatever you beleive in. as long as it isn't harmful then what's the problem? you cant control your child's beliefs forever.

Prob didn't explain myself very well about Christianity being similar, but i meant what dingdong said, about prayers and christian ceremonies being exactly the same as 'spells' and rituals.

The "witch" thing is a red herring.

2 weeks? Picking him up from school? Living there? Too fast. Especially for your son.

The pagan/witchcraft/wicca/whatever I suppose I am being quick to judge on. I'll be more open minded.

ex H has confirmed to me that his gf did indeed wear robes and actually wants them all to attend a ceremony for shortest day.

It is also about the fact she's been around fecking 5 mins, they talked online for months apparently and she's come to stay. She's stayed 2 weeks and now is apparently staying. His relationship is his business, I'm just not comfortable with all the sudden hands on with religion/collection from school and already asking our DS to call her "Mama" I was very at that. He has a mum - ME.