Notcontent
Mon 03-Dec-12 22:51:38
So, some new neighbours just moved in a couple of weeks ago next door. I am just sitting up in bed and have realised I can hear them having sex. It's just a bit disconcerting hearing "ooh, aah" over and over again. It's a terrace and the walls are thin but I didn't think they were that thin.
Having been on mumsnet for a while now, I think it's quite a common problem, isn't it? Not much I can do is there - I mean even if I did tell them (and I couldn't!!!!) there is probably not much they can do!!
Just glad they are not next to DD's bedroom.
Tell me I am not the only one to have this problem!!!!
BratinghamPalace
Tue 04-Dec-12 06:10:35
That French song from the 70s - Je t'aime!!
"you can be as loud as you want" from avenue q 
I can hear you by They Might Be Giants...
ipswichwitch
Tue 04-Dec-12 06:51:12
quote, it would be like Pavlov and his dog! Instead of rang bell, dog ate food, it'd be play song, next door shag!! I've seen people get funding for worse studies 
JambalayaWarmMincePie
Tue 04-Dec-12 07:23:17
I posted about this exact thing after we moved at the end if September. It was two women, and they're both very very vocal.
It's not nice, but if its any consolation, you sort of get used to it. At first it woke me up (!!!!) but now I can just fall asleep.
Also, I now have no qualms in being as loud as I like when its my turn. 
The older lady pleasuring herself is making me giggle but also feel a little uncomfortable...
I can hear the squeaks of the bed in the flat above me, sounds ever so boring, I'm used to it now
SugaricePlumFairy
Tue 04-Dec-12 07:44:33
It's got to be George Michael I want your sex!
IvanaHumpalot
Tue 04-Dec-12 07:58:00
May I suggest Lulu & Boom Bang a Bang. Cheesy lyrics, bad beat - enough to put anyone off their stroke...
Sorry I can't link for full effect.
quoteunquote
Tue 04-Dec-12 14:55:31
Pavlov and his dog
I know, I think it worth a try, there are certainly enough people on here who have the situation going on, if we just organise our finding,
anyone want to collaborate on funding application?
TeeBee
Tue 04-Dec-12 15:06:56
I would shout really loudly next to the wall 'GO ON! GIVE HER ONE FROM ME!'
PretzelTime
Tue 04-Dec-12 15:13:13
Yell "Finish him" with the Mortal Kombat voice
Nancy66
Tue 04-Dec-12 15:50:18
My neighbours go in for abusive dirty talk
'Take my cock you slut'
'yeah give it to me you bastard'
etc etc....
TheProvincialLady
Tue 04-Dec-12 15:58:52
We had neighbours like this, with headboard banging and everything. I didn't say anything until I was woken up at 1.30am once and bellowed "For Gods sake won't you bloody shut up you noisy selfish inconsiderate fuckers." I'm not sure if the exact fishwife wording helped, or the accompanying loud knocking by me on the wall, or what - but we never heard them again. Moral of the story: don't wake me up.
SantasLittleHo
Tue 04-Dec-12 16:02:34
Play Fuck Her Gently by Tenacious D.
CajaDeLaMemoria
Tue 04-Dec-12 16:03:16
I would much rather hear sex than what we can hear...
Next door using the bathroom. Their bathroom is an odd shape and somehow they are very loud, so you can hear grunting and splashing in both the study and the bathroom.
It's nauseating.
CajaDeLaMemoria
Tue 04-Dec-12 16:03:46
Hahahahaha Tenacious D is an excellent choice. I'd so do that.
TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat
Tue 04-Dec-12 16:06:52
Im quite embarrassed to say this but when I met DP, he lived in a flat. Being a new relationship, we were at it all the time. Didn't realise how thin the walls were until he received a letter from the management company complaining about 'domestic noises'.
I was mortified. Even more so when the neighbour downstairs had to knock on the door a few days later about water leaking into her flat.
We live in a small town, everyone knows everyone. I see her from time to time 
whizmum
Tue 04-Dec-12 16:30:10
Once, I was lying in the bath and could hear the water splashing, but I was completely still..........Freaky.
TheProvincialLady
Tue 04-Dec-12 16:44:45
Caja our walls were so terrible when we first moved into this house that we couldn't hear our neighbours having a poo, but we could smell it - especially when he decided to have a fag on the loo too <retch> We pulled all the plaster off the wall and discovered that the mortar had gone in loads of places, so we remortared above and below the floorboards and I'm happy to report that we are no longer troubled by the smell of someone else's poo and smoke. Check the condition of your walls.
Change your wifi router name to 'wecanhearno46shagging' or somesuch...
VikingLady
Tue 04-Dec-12 16:51:11
See. I must be a freak because I always find this hysterically funny and it doesn't bother me at all! Maybe it is all those years of living in student halls where you can hear EVERYTHING. One friend had particularly loud neighbours and she applauded them afterwards.
They did avoid her after that, though 
WhenShallWeThreeKingsMeetAgain
Tue 04-Dec-12 16:55:57
Wait til they've finished and shout One Hundred and Eieieieieieieighty at la darts championships !!