To tell my friend she has a 'tache...

(74 Posts)
PrettyFlyForAWifi Mon 03-Dec-12 18:39:44

Ex colleague but good pal. Not many secrets between us. But noticed her incipient tache last week...what do I do? Assume she has it in hand and it was a minor grooming fail? Give her jolene as a hilarious Xmas gift? Ive no idea how to broach the subject - heeeeeeellllp!

Glossynotflossy Wed 05-Dec-12 21:50:52

Say nothing.

I know someone who had a visible white line/patch where her tache, I assume, had been bleached.

I am sure she was aware of it too and I said nothing

PrettyFlyForAWifi Tue 04-Dec-12 21:58:23

Someone mentioned body policing upthread. The fricking was all mine. I do like it as a word.

HardHittingLeafletCampaign Tue 04-Dec-12 20:47:37

Not sure I'm the one who needs to calm down grin. Who are the Fricking Body Police btw? If you can tell a friend they have an 'incipient' moustache you could probably say 'fucking' or is fricking the incipient stage of fucking?

Bet your friend is feeling fabulous today.

MardyBra Tue 04-Dec-12 20:05:45

Oops. Are you my friend?

CocktailQueen Tue 04-Dec-12 20:05:17

I would want to know!!! But subtly.... perhaps just come straight out with it - 'oops, have just noticed ... you need to get the wax out soon.' - would she mind that??

Alisvolatpropiis Tue 04-Dec-12 18:17:00

I would want my friend to mention it if it were me. I would be mortified.

CuriosityCola Tue 04-Dec-12 16:43:37

pretty well done for being honest. grin

VikingLady Tue 04-Dec-12 16:28:57

I was in the position of your friend - I was saving up for electrolysis which doesn't work if you've waxed. I bleached it but you can't always see when it needs doing (depends on the light).

If you had told me I had a tache, I would have been deeply embarrassed and avoided you for some time. No-one is unaware of it!

My MIL has a beard. I suspect our relationship has remained cordial over the past 12 years because I have never mentioned it (although the Dolly Parton CD is a particularly genius idea that I am now toying with).

Kalisi Tue 04-Dec-12 16:07:42

Have I got a Ronnie Ma?

marchwillsoonbehere Tue 04-Dec-12 15:46:29

Well obviously you know your friend best WiFi but I am intrigued that you asked the question, got a fairly unanimous response and then did what you were always going to do anyway. And good on ya for that, but why ask???

PrettyFlyForAWifi Tue 04-Dec-12 15:13:15

Oh do calm down, I'm not the fricking body police, I just know that she'd prefer not to sport a moustache and wondered if anyone had any good ideas of how to broach the subject. I did say 'incipient', not 'full Burt Reynolds'! Doesn't make me uncomfortable in the slightest, what an odd question! I myself sport a fetching mole/hair combo which doesn't bother me at all - but I am not she, which was the reason I was asking how to broach it to someone who does care.

Anyway, I told her and she shrieked, ran to the mirror, and we had a laugh about it. So ummm there we are.

seasalt Mon 03-Dec-12 23:40:33

I wouldn't say anything.

HardHittingLeafletCampaign Mon 03-Dec-12 23:32:06

Is she a good friend? Why are you friends with her? Is she a good person, friendly, good sense of humour? Is she kind?

Does facial hair detract from the above? Is it making her uncomfortable, or you?

Don't tell her. Stop noticing. Look in her eyes instead.

Redbindy Mon 03-Dec-12 23:23:41

I hope that you are perfect in every way, else a slanging match could be in the air.

Mollydoggerson Mon 03-Dec-12 23:19:24

I have one and I know sometimes it is visible, if anyone felt the need to tell me about it I would think they were being an awkward knob.

Do you also feel the need to remind people with big ears/noses, that they have big ears/noses.

Please get over yourself.

independentfriend Mon 03-Dec-12 23:18:33

I have dark hair on my top lip. When I need/want to be conventionally female (professional job, meeting clients etc) I shave it. This nearly always leads to me getting a cold sore or two and to a weird horrible feeling from the stubble to the skin that's nothing like soft hair. The rest of the time I leave it as it is. I wouldn't take kindly to body policing of the sort you want to engage in. It's none of your business.

Corygal Mon 03-Dec-12 23:13:38

How is going to tell her something she already knows going to make her feel any better?

I wouldn't. But I would wax lyrical about the joy of threading - I get my tach ripped once a month, with the eyebrows. I have converted several friends thru sheer enthusiasm about how much time it saves, not because I believed my friends were really David Bellamy, so joy all round.

Why would she give a shit? It's a bit of hair on her face. Does she not have a mirror? Are you doing without your mind today?
Personally whenever I see a woman with hair on her upper lip I think it looks great. I'm not trying to be original or feministy to show people up. I'm being sincere, hirsute ladies, you look fab! grin

Illgetmycoat Mon 03-Dec-12 23:05:37

I always think that you should tell a friend if they have food on their face or toilet paper on their heel and I'd hope they would tell me.

However, commenting on facial hair is tipping over into pretty personal territory in line with "Your legs are hairy" and "Your arse looks huge in that dress".

I would be careful...

whois Mon 03-Dec-12 23:02:32

Unless you're both 14 and she's not aware of waxing etc then say nothing! A grown woman will be well aware.

GhostShip Mon 03-Dec-12 21:44:43

I'd tell her, because I'd want to be told.

giveitago Mon 03-Dec-12 21:25:47

Yup - if she's a close friend of yours she might be happy to know.

I have one. It doesn't bother me that much. Doesn't bother my friends. I sometimes do something about it but it's not on my high priority of things to do somehting about.

If it's about you and your friend who are very worried about it then tell her.

Virgil Mon 03-Dec-12 21:22:33

Yes really. If they are close friends surely it is doing the friend a favour pointing it out. Life is busy, sometimes we think we can get away with it for a few more days. I'd rather know if I'd made that judgment call and I was wrong.

If its not a close friend then no but if its a best friend then tell her.

giveitago Mon 03-Dec-12 21:04:23

"I would want to know and I have one myself. I bleach it regularly but sometimes don't notice when the shadow is coming back until I suddenly look into the mirror in a particular type of light and scare myself. Tell her. "

Really? I have one. I know and I deal with it if I can be bothered. My friends know not to tell me. Why would they? It doesn't spoil their life.

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