To tell my friend she has a 'tache...

(74 Posts)
PrettyFlyForAWifi Mon 03-Dec-12 18:39:44

Ex colleague but good pal. Not many secrets between us. But noticed her incipient tache last week...what do I do? Assume she has it in hand and it was a minor grooming fail? Give her jolene as a hilarious Xmas gift? Ive no idea how to broach the subject - heeeeeeellllp!

TheQueenOfSparta Mon 03-Dec-12 19:05:00

None of your business.

It depends how close you are.

I would want my closest friend to tell me and likewise, I would tell her.
If it was a colleague, then I wouldn't.

I'd try to mention it in a lighthearted way though.

ShatnersBassoon Mon 03-Dec-12 19:08:27

If you don't think she already knows, you'd be better off suggesting an eye test before waxing.

diddl Mon 03-Dec-12 19:13:17

Why do you think she doesn´t know?

I noticed mine about a week ago.

CBA to do anything about it.

Cortana Mon 03-Dec-12 19:19:07

Meh, there are two types of women in my social circle. Women who wax, and women who have a tache. We're all dark haired hirsute women.

I reckon she knows. I wouldn't mention it unless it's been brought up. If she's comfortable talking about it she probably would have made a joke. That's how my friends and I dealt with it. Running jokes include: NEVER look at the strip after you wax, only then will you realise you looked like Burt. And the bad times we've been in a fix and had to use a razor.

End of the day, even if she doesn't know, does it matter? Loads of women have facial hair. It's no big deal, why make an issue of something that is normal for many women.

HairyGrotter Mon 03-Dec-12 19:23:26

Maybe it means very little to her therefore doesn't do anything about it...her life, her choice etc.

None of your business

Vagndidit Mon 03-Dec-12 19:40:33

Trust me, she knows.

And unlike most people in today's society, she might not give a rat's about being completely hairless. Honestly, what the hell is the obsession with ridding ourselves of every last hair follicle???

I say "Good on her!"

zlist Mon 03-Dec-12 19:41:50

Definitely don't say anything.
I've had the odd grooming fail and then when I have fully realised the extent of it hoped no one realised!
I was out with MIL (very obvious thick tache - I know that DH has been itching to say something to her for years) and several other family members a while back when one of the grandchildren (not one of ours!) asked her why she had one. All adult pretending not to hear but slience followed as we desperately waited to hear the reply. Her reply made it obvious that she knew full well about it but had decided that it was a keeper at her age. Her decision! I find it quite a strange one as otherwise she takes great pride in her appearance but it is hers to makes all the same.

Opinion on this thread certainly sways AGAINST you mentioning it but one other option, if you're still hell-bent on getting involved, is to discuss beauty salons. Ask her if she ever goes, can she recommend you a good one, what treatments she's had/would like to have. Maybe even go together. (Assuming you see each other outside of work). I think it's dangerous ground whatever you say; you could offend her and there's no easy way to back out of that one. Is it worth risking your friendship over a bit of hair?!

FrillyMilly Mon 03-Dec-12 19:53:35

I have one and would be a bit embarrassed if someone mentioned it. I bleach it when I can be arsed, sometimes consider waxing (I wonder if I could do that at home?) but mostly I just live with it.

Doinmummy Mon 03-Dec-12 20:26:21

I didn't know I the beginnings of a Rachel til I bought a 10x magnifying mirror. I wondered who'd put a tarantula on my top lip!

Doinmummy Mon 03-Dec-12 20:27:07

Rachel???? Tache! Bloody phone

HassledHasASledge Mon 03-Dec-12 20:30:13

If a friend told me I had a tache or bad breath or long and visible nasal hairs or obvious bogeys I would love them even more - just tell her. She'll be grateful.

Pictureperfect Mon 03-Dec-12 20:33:18

I think a friend does the easy thing and a good friend sometimes does a difficult thing for their friend. How bad is it and why do you want to tell her? If she didn't seem aware of it and people were talking or laughing behind her back then I would say to bring it up in the nicest possible way, if she probably knows and it's not causing any problem then don't say anything

Pictureperfect Mon 03-Dec-12 20:34:15

Frilly, I got cheap wax strips (facial ones) online and they work just as good as having it waxed by someone (I've got pcos)

blanksquit Mon 03-Dec-12 20:38:54

I don't see how it's your business. It's criticising someone's appearance. If you can see it, she can see it. She may not want to deal with it at the moment - that's for her to decide.

Fakebook Mon 03-Dec-12 20:39:53

If you're really really close, like sisters then I'd tell her. My sister will always tell me if there's something weird on my face and it doesn't offend or embarrass me. If there is a chance she Will get offended then don't say anything.

HassledHasASledge Mon 03-Dec-12 20:40:56

I've actually got DD to promise to maintain my 'tache maintenance if I'm ever in a coma.

CleansLate Mon 03-Dec-12 20:44:41

I was blissfully unaware of my 'tache til DS3 said "why is Daddy's mustache all spikey and yours isn't?"

I said "I don't have a mustache!"

and all three DCs chorused "yes you do!"

I tend to get my lip done when I get my brows done but have been lax with both and I just can't see the lip hairs to tweeze them. They tend to only show up when I've put a full face of makeup on [sigh]

FrillyMilly Mon 03-Dec-12 20:47:35

Thank you pictureperfect I shall have a look.

apostropheuse Mon 03-Dec-12 20:51:15

You don't say anything because it's none of your business. She presumably sees her face in the mirror every morning so, unless she has problems with her vision, she knows already.

It may well be that she doesn't really care.

PartridgeInASpicyPearTree Mon 03-Dec-12 20:53:17

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene Jolee-e-eene.

On CD for Christmas and see if she gets the hint.

Fakebook Mon 03-Dec-12 20:57:06

grin Hassled I just laughed so loudly at your comment that I nearly woke up my baby. That's hilarious because my sister and me have made the same pact, except ours goes into death too.

valiumredhead Mon 03-Dec-12 21:00:04

Say nothing as it os NOTHING to do with you, why on earth do you think it is your business to say anything to her?

giveitago Mon 03-Dec-12 21:04:23

"I would want to know and I have one myself. I bleach it regularly but sometimes don't notice when the shadow is coming back until I suddenly look into the mirror in a particular type of light and scare myself. Tell her. "

Really? I have one. I know and I deal with it if I can be bothered. My friends know not to tell me. Why would they? It doesn't spoil their life.

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