To move my children from their current Catholic school...

(59 Posts)
coni336 Mon 03-Dec-12 14:34:23

I have 2 children one in Year 1 and one in Year 3. They attend our local Catholic school where I also work (makes things 1000 x harder). My 8 year old has come home a few times quite worried and scared about his RE lessons. They have been learning about Purgatory and some other quite scary stories which I think are a bit heavy for children his age.

My husband is totally against religion and he didn't want the children to go to that school in the first place. I am a bit torn as I wanted them to have the discipline and moral teaching BUT I was naive about how much it actually was. So it is my fault entirely and I know you are going to say 'you chose it, you should've know' etc... but anyway now I want them to change schools to another local school that is very good but I am very nervous about making this decision. The other thing is that how do I talk to the head/my boss about it without it affecting my job! Will he expect me to hand in my notice too?? Can I still say 'I like working here but it's not what I want for my children?'
Oh i just dont know what to do...

MsVestibule Mon 03-Dec-12 14:39:58

How do your children feel about moving schools? If you don't feel it's the right environment for them, then yes, you will have to consider moving them.

If your boss/the head (are they the same person?) asks you why, you could just be honest about the reasons why. I really can't see why it should affect your job.

Seabird72 Mon 03-Dec-12 14:43:33

There will always be some lessons that children find hard and scary to learn about. I think it would make things difficult for you at work and I wouldn't move the children just because of one lesson. Ask what exactly is being said in class and try to talk it over with your 8 yr old after school. Point out that this is just what some people believe and that people have all sorts of different opinions. My DD2 gets very upset when she's learning about drugs and bad accidents that can happen to people and she can be very sensitive and cry but you just have to do your best to help them through. The lesson won't last forever and surely they'll be getting onto the nicer Jesus was born type of thing soon??

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda Mon 03-Dec-12 14:44:22

Sounds to me like they're teaching medieval superstition rather than Church doctrine. Church doctrine is that purgatory is where people are ' immersed in the love of Christ'.

Here it is, straight from the horse's mouth. (Second to last paragraph)

Dead69Girl Mon 03-Dec-12 14:44:34

I withdrew my daughter from RE in year 2 as she was coming home telling me that christanity was fact and teachers were telling her that it did happen

she has only started doing RE again now and she is in year 5

so i think maybe just withdraw them from RE, my daughter got to fun things instead of RE, gardening, reading, ect so she didnt miss out

Good luck

Dead69Girl Mon 03-Dec-12 14:45:27

opps forgot to add, that she goes to a normal school

ReallyTired Mon 03-Dec-12 14:48:45

If you work at the school could you not talk to the RE coordinator before making such a drastic move. Do you have a good relationship with your boss? If your employer values you then they may well suggest a way forward.

GrimmaTheNome Mon 03-Dec-12 14:49:07

>There will always be some lessons that children find hard and scary to learn about.

yes - like about drugs. But (a) that's something real and (b) schools usually manage it in an age-appropriate way.

If your DS is finding RE scary, perhaps you could consider asking him to be withdrawn from those lessons. That might also be difficult for you (and him).

At any rate, you ought to raise the matter of the suitability of these lessons. There may be other kids being unecessarily scared too.

laptopdancer Mon 03-Dec-12 15:26:14

I was under the impression the concept pf purgatory in the catholic doctrine had been removed after Vatican 2! Or more recently. But it has!

bradywasmyfavouriteking Mon 03-Dec-12 15:28:44

Why are they teaching the old testament?

Depends on the situation. If they are focussing what the old testament is about and the thoughts behind it. I would not remove him. There will always be lessons discussing things. Lessons about drugs etc.

If they are teaching that a person who is baptised goes to purgetory and such stuff. Then I would move him. Because that's not what a catholic school should be teaching.

laptopdancer Mon 03-Dec-12 15:32:14

oo look, I am wrong
www.saintpetercatholic.com/qa_purgatory.html

nonetheless I never learned about it at school (30 years ago!)

Iactuallydothinkso Mon 03-Dec-12 15:33:14

I went to a catholic school all my life. I'm now in my 40's and not scared of anything! I like to look at it as a basic moral code to live a life by. I did check out with a church of England vicar a few years ago that all unbaptised babies did not, in fact, go to "limbo" and was reassured.

There are a few things I find wrong about the catholic church and this is sort of why I don't attend anymore.

If you are not catholic and did not baptise your children, how come they're in a catholic school? It's quite a serious faith that in school will permeate all aspects. I accept you say you didn't know but it was certainly that way when I was there.

I think you will get away with telling your children that this is what Catholics believe but how you can get round telling them without them feeling perhaps alienated there I don't know?

Janeatthebarre Mon 03-Dec-12 15:33:38

I'm a Catholic and we were thought about purgatory at my convent school. Why shouldn't a Catholic school be teaching that kind of thing?

squoosh Mon 03-Dec-12 15:35:14

Has purgatory gone from Catholic teaching?? I find that hard to believe. I know that they no longer say that babies who die before being christened spend eternity in limbo. They now say that they go straight to heaven.

TeddyBare Mon 03-Dec-12 16:06:31

YANBU. That sounds like it's being handled badly and you need to look in to doing something about that (removing from classes or school) if they can't or won't teach in an age appropriate way. There shouldn't be any consequences for your job but I expect the head teacher will ask why you're withdrawing your dc.

hackmum Mon 03-Dec-12 17:14:33

I do agree it makes it very difficult for you to take the children out if you work there. What job do you do there, by the way? I think in your position I would have a word with the teacher or headteacher and say that your DC is becoming upset by what he's being taught. You could also try reassuring your DC yourself that none of the purgatory stuff is true.

It partly depends on how happy and settled your DC are there otherwise - is the teaching good, do they have friends etc. If you really decide you want to take them out, then I would suggest a suitable white lie to the HT about why you're moving them.

headfairy Mon 03-Dec-12 17:17:04

I think it's limbo for unbaptised babies that's been dropped from Catholic teachings.

Wish I could help you op, good luck

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 03-Dec-12 17:34:58

If you disagree with them being taught the Catholic faith then yes,you should remove them from the Catholic School.

Sending children to a faith school when you disagree with religion is utterly pointless.

FeckOffCup Mon 03-Dec-12 17:37:58

Are you actually Catholic, do you take your children to mass? If you do then they are likely to come across these teachings at some point anyway. If you don't then withdraw them from the school and send them to a non catholic one if it bothers you that much. I wouldn't have thought they could sack you for it, check your employment contract but I doubt it will say you are obliged to send your children to that school.

squoosh Mon 03-Dec-12 17:40:35

Yes I don't see how your decision to send your kids to a different school could jeopardise your job hmm

GrendelsMum Mon 03-Dec-12 17:41:29

I'm Anglican rather than Catholic, so I don't really know anything about what they might be learning re purgatory, but I think I'd start by talking to the teachers about the effect that it's having on the children before you go ahead and move schools. I can't think that a primary level teaching of Christianity should really have the effect of upsetting your children.

On the other hand, as I said, I'm a wishy-washy Anglican so what do I know?

McChristmasPants2012 Mon 03-Dec-12 17:42:14

Is it in your contract that you can only work in the school if your child attends, if not then legally you could get them done for unfair dismissle.

LynetteScavo Mon 03-Dec-12 17:45:26

My DC go to Catholic schools and I would be really cross if they came home worried and scared about RE lessons. I would be addressing the issue with the head.

But you've already made up your mind to move them, and I think that's fine. As a parent you don't have to give any reason for moving schools.

You certainly can't be sacked for removing your children from the school, but if the head knows why you've moved your children, he may well question whether you support the schools ethos. That's where you tell him you like working there, and are happy to support the school, but it's not what you and your DH want for your DC.

icclebabyjesusheave Mon 03-Dec-12 17:49:08

Move them if you think it's best for them. You can always say it's because you want them to go somewhere you don't teach,

DIYapprentice Mon 03-Dec-12 17:51:46

If you're really uncomfortable about it, then you could use the reason that you don't want your children to be in a position of being singled out because their mother works at the school.

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