to have fed my baby here?

(1000 Posts)
ariane5 Mon 03-Dec-12 11:08:35

Went shopping yesteerday.ds1. Jas a blu badge so we parked in a disabled space.went to shops and back to car couple of hours later. We have 4 dcs and the baby 7 mths started screaming and was hungry.by then the car park was packd. I started to feed ds while dh got other dcs in car and an elderly couple drove past and politely asked if we were leaving, dh said sorry not yet then 2 other drivers did the same but the fourth stopped got out and said please could we hurry up, I explained that when I had fed ds we would be going but she was really angry and said a disabled space is not just for sitting in that we should go immediately. I was only another ten mins fding ds it is hard enough going out as all dcs have same condition and ds2 was really screaming I had to feed him as it was a long drive home. Was I being unreasonable?

GlaikitFizzogTheChristmasElf Mon 03-Dec-12 11:53:23

I'm wonders what kind of contortionist you would have to be to feed a baby in a car seat whilst being safely strapped in yourself! You would need one of those zip line thingies Tom cruise has in mission impossible, to dangle you from the roof of the car!

baublesandbaileys Mon 03-Dec-12 11:54:52

go go gadget nipples!

actually I have done this myself but you are NOT safely strapped in yourself as you have to loosen your own belt in order to lean over the baby car seat

onyx72 Mon 03-Dec-12 11:55:12

YANBU to want to feed your baby ASAP, but you were BU to use the blue badge, which was issued to one of your other children, to park up in a disabled space and feed your baby.

How far away from home were you, out of interest?

OiMissus Mon 03-Dec-12 11:56:30

YANBU - what utterly ridiculous comments some have made.
Sit in your car and feed your child. If anyone complained at me for doing so, I'd have been very quick to vacate the parking space, but only so I could run the ignorant idiot over.

ariane5 Mon 03-Dec-12 11:57:30

No we hadn't stayed over any alloted time or similar it was just a disabled space so no time limit.I think it had a lot to do with xmas shopping and being busy tbh. We do not go out much due to dcs problems as it is very very difficult with all of them as only the eldest can manage to walk a bit so we had made such an effort to get up early in order to get a space and try and get finished before it was too busy. it was absolutely packed when we left I just knew after the first 2 people asked were we leaving that it could be an issue bf but dh said "don't worry it'll be fine" it was a 25 min drive home and ds would have screamed the whole way if I hadn't fed him. We only went to get some socks and a coat for ds2 and for the others to see father xmas thoight itd b quick and relatively painless!

ariane5 Mon 03-Dec-12 11:57:33

No we hadn't stayed over any alloted time or similar it was just a disabled space so no time limit.I think it had a lot to do with xmas shopping and being busy tbh. We do not go out much due to dcs problems as it is very very difficult with all of them as only the eldest can manage to walk a bit so we had made such an effort to get up early in order to get a space and try and get finished before it was too busy. it was absolutely packed when we left I just knew after the first 2 people asked were we leaving that it could be an issue bf but dh said "don't worry it'll be fine" it was a 25 min drive home and ds would have screamed the whole way if I hadn't fed him. We only went to get some socks and a coat for ds2 and for the others to see father xmas thoight itd b quick and relatively painless!

baublesandbaileys Mon 03-Dec-12 11:57:34

what is reasonable use of a blue badge space onyx?
are they only for shopping for items for the person it's issued for? no! you can go to the cinema, go for a walk, window shop, sip gingerbread lattes, chat to people on the street, take the non disabled DCs to the toilet, feed your baby...

Pandemoniaa Mon 03-Dec-12 11:59:50

I don't think the OP was being U given the circumstances. The OP could have spent the same time away from the car shopping or feeding her baby and the space would have remained just as unavailable for anyone else. Sure, it'd have been more convenient if she'd been able to vacate the space but actually, that's tough because right then it wasn't practical or possible.

YANBU

You have paid to use the space, you can use it in whichever fashion you like (within reason wink)

And feeding a baby in a moving car?! Even if you are both in seatbelts this isn't a very safe position in case of an accident!

GlaikitFizzogTheChristmasElf Mon 03-Dec-12 12:04:14

She had all her children with her onyx! Should they have parked up in a disabled space, got ds 1 out left him there then parked elsewhere in a normal space to get the other 3 out, because on ds1 has a badge! Seriously?? Have you read the thread???!

LRDtheFeministDude Mon 03-Dec-12 12:06:11

Even if it were safe to feed a baby in a moving car, surely part of the point of having a blue badge is to alert people to the fact you may not actually be quite so able as the average person, and may find some physical things difficult ... like getting your shopping packed away and your baby fed, pronto, while others hover for the space!

FeckOffCup Mon 03-Dec-12 12:07:00

YANBU, it's pretty dangerous and distracting to drive with a screaming child in the car. You had a blue badge, you were entitled to use that space for however long you needed to.

nightowlmostly Mon 03-Dec-12 12:08:14

YANBU OP

GreenPetals Mon 03-Dec-12 12:08:30

YANBU.
This is actually NOT an issue with using a disabled place. Whether it was or not is irrelevant here. You had a space, hadn't finished using it (for what it takes, you could have been waiting for an older child who had gone to the toilet or whatever) so you waited and left when you were ready.

Asking if yu were ready to leave was a fair question. Having a go at you because you weren't ready to do so was BU.

GreenPetals Mon 03-Dec-12 12:09:41

obyx the person who was issued with the disabled badge was in the car....

MrsHoarder Mon 03-Dec-12 12:12:47

YANBU

People suggesting feeding a baby in a moving car ABVU. You might be in legal restraints, but in the event of a crash the mother is liable to crush the baby in the car seat. Even a bottle or sippy cup can kill a rear facing baby, so an adult definitely could.

THe people asking WNBU as long as they were polite: if you were about to leave it would make sense for them to wait rather than drive around endlessly looking for a space. If they were being impatient/rude then TWBU.

ISeeThreadPeople Mon 03-Dec-12 12:13:59

It's surprisingly easy to feed a baby in a moving car but depends on family set up and type of car/carseat. I have the clingiest boy in the world and he screams blue murder in his carseat. He's rear facing, I sit next to him in the middle seat with a lapstrap on and lean v slightly to the right, unclip my bra and he latches on. It's not ideal but better than dh crashing due to ds's ear splitting screaming.

StanleyLambchop Mon 03-Dec-12 12:14:12

I don't think you were BU. Sometimes though I think there is an element of 'competitive blue badging' going on, so one person deems themselves to be more worthy of the disabled space than another. This is especially the case if the badge holders appear to be young, there is a misconception that somehow only older people can be disabled. I would just put it down to the stresses of the time of year and forget about it. I can't see you have done anything wrong!

ariane5 Mon 03-Dec-12 12:14:51

Yes ds1 was with us also dd1 has a badge too and she was with us-would NEVER use dcs badges if they were not with us

ariane5 Mon 03-Dec-12 12:14:53

Yes ds1 was with us also dd1 has a badge too and she was with us-would NEVER use dcs badges if they were not with us

GreenPetals Mon 03-Dec-12 12:17:00

Well with 2 people having a blue badge, I am sure the OP wins the competition of who is in more need!

Fairylea Mon 03-Dec-12 12:17:05

Yanbu.

You could have gone into a cafe to feed and space would have been unavailable anyway.

First come first serve and all that really...

OP, there is no way you are being unreasonable - however it can be hard to explain to some people that your baby needs feeding NOW regardless of space etc.

I've fed baby in a moving car runs and hides - We were moving very slowly, maybe 5 miles an hour, from one tiny carpark in a village to another. Took about 3 minutes.

Otherwise though, baby stays in seat whilst driving. So glad he takes a bottle!! I've expressed whilst OH is driving too - straight into a bottle to give to LO.

baublesandbaileys Mon 03-Dec-12 12:22:02

anyway the people in the OP didn't know who the badge was for, it might have been for the mum for all they know!

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter Mon 03-Dec-12 12:27:40

Not being unreasonable at all.
If you'd feed your child in a cafe your car would still be taking the space up so I wouldn't worry. Just the silly selfish season kicking in

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