To be mad at the way my son was treated by nursery?

(27 Posts)
FergusSingsTheBlues Fri 30-Nov-12 06:06:58

My mum told me yesterday that when she went to collect my son (2), she had to take him home without anything on his bottom half because he had had an accident. And there were no clothes for him to wear. Hes been sent o school with changes of clothes so They must have run out and nobody told me.

Nobody tried to call us, they know we live five minutes away and could have brought some trouseers down easily. They said they tried to email us, but nobody did. Were in scotland wheretemperatures have not risen much above freezing recently, so im just so upset. Im hurt that they let him sit around playing in his pants then just sent him home like that. Aibu to wanto make a stink? I did speak to the manager but she didnt seem o think it was that much of an issue.

whatsforyou Fri 30-Nov-12 08:32:22

Sorry, posted to soon!

I was trying to say, the age shouldn't matter. All children are entitled to dignity and respect.

whatsforyou Fri 30-Nov-12 08:29:49

Sirzy, no one is talking about having his bits on show and their is an indignity about being returned to the room in his pants, whether he is aware of this or not. Stripping a child to their nappy for an activity is different, if a nursery routinely had children dotting about in their nappies I would be concerned.
And at what age does it become an issue? Three? Four

Sirzy Fri 30-Nov-12 08:27:48

Neither of the nurseries DS has been to have had washing machines, I wouldn't have thought it was something they had as standard really.

With nurseries the vast majority of the parents will come straight from work to pick them up to which makes the bring something and get changed there harder to implement. I guess that is why ideally children will have their own spares but there will always be times that doesn't happen.

CailinDana Fri 30-Nov-12 08:25:05

Sirzy - we pick up big bags of spare clothes at Christmas fetes and the like for 50p so we have a constant supply. It's not hard for a nursery to do the same surely? Or to stock up at the charity shop? Or to just send regular reminders about spare clothes home with the children? In the special school that I used to teach in, if a child had an accident (which happened often) we would call the parents to ask them to bring spare clothes at hometimes, change the child into our own spare clothes then change them back at hometime into the clean clothes the parent brought. We had our own washing machine so the spare clothes would then be washed for the next time. Do nurseries generally have their own machine?

FergusSingsTheBlues Fri 30-Nov-12 08:19:45

I do keep him well supplied with clean clothes especially as he is only freshly toilet trained. But im seven months pregnant, work fulltime and oversights happen. It would not have been wildly proactive to call me....and re dignity, im not talking about him flashing his bits as he walked down the street, im talking about the right to be warm and clothed not wandering around glasgow in the scud.

WileyRoadRunner Fri 30-Nov-12 08:17:29

Yanbu I would be fuming if this was my child. Totally inappropriate. You are right they should have rung you to ask you to at least bring something in with you to put him in for the journey home.

I agree with whoever said about a bag everyday. I send my DD in with her bag when she goes to nursery and she brings it home with her.

Sirzy Fri 30-Nov-12 08:14:00

* I would expect a nursery to have loads and loads of emergency trousers etc for situations just like this.*

They only have loads and loads if people donate clothes and then return them when their child has used them. When DS has ended up in spare clothes they have always been shocked that they have actually been returned and returned clean!

Sirzy Fri 30-Nov-12 08:13:02

He had underpants on (from what I can tell from the OP) so his 'dignity' was all covered and is no different from them stripping babies down to nappies for activities in that sense.

They should have found him something to wear though.

CailinDana Fri 30-Nov-12 08:12:29

How weird - even the toddler group that I run for 4 hours a week has a tonne of spare clothes. I would expect a nursery to have loads and loads of emergency trousers etc for situations just like this.

It sounds like pure laziness to me and I wouldn't be happy. I don't think your DS will have suffered or anything but really making sure the nursery has a supply of spares isn't a big job and the fact they haven't done something simple like that would really annoy me.

I would definitely insist they sort the situation out.

BertieBotts Fri 30-Nov-12 08:12:10

I think it's your responsibility to keep track of your son's spare clothes at school, but they should definitely have spares for situations like this, and I don't see why they couldn't have called you.

I walk to and from nursery with DS so would be shock if they expected him to walk home like that. How do they know if you drive etc? Plus sometimes children are picked up by grandparents, childminders etc who might be taking their child to their own house and not somewhere they can get them dressed straight away.

Foxy800 Fri 30-Nov-12 08:10:59

I would definately talk to the nursery about it as they are not thinking about the child's dignity.
I work in a nursery and we do have spare clothles, however we have the problem that we often run out as they are not returned, however if this happened we would use dressing up clothles and then contact you if we knew you were able to pop some down.

whatsforyou Fri 30-Nov-12 08:09:14

I would be worried about his 'dignity'. Respect is one of the key principles of the early years curriculum in scotland and it doesn't seem that they have awareness of this.
On a practical side, yes you should have noticed that his spares were used but I can't believe a nursery has not got a stock of spares, for all ages. It is not uncommon for older children to need changed too for a million different reasons!

I would be speaking to the manager OP, I've worked in loads of different nurseries and this would never have been considered

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Fri 30-Nov-12 08:02:21

I would worry about the dignity thing, nurseries have a requirement to maintain a child's dignity, although I'm it sure if its the same in Scotland.

I can see how it might have happened if the accident was right near the end of the day and it was a particularly hectic time. Sometimes these things do all come at once in a nursery and it seems every child has an immediate need that has to be dealt with, and that would have taken priority over phoning a parent if the child in question was happy and safe.

I'd talk to the manager again and find out what else was going on at the time. Obviously they can't break confidentiality and tell you what other children's needs were, but I'd want to find out if they had had plenty of time and chances to phone or if they just didn't see it as important. If they have an attitude that it doesn't matter if a child spends all afternoon playing in just pants, then I'd worry about what else they don't think is important. But if it was just one of those days where everything gets a bit hectic, I'd let it go.

wonderingsoul Fri 30-Nov-12 07:37:24

ydnbu- BUT the nursery here ask you to keep a spare with them at school. but thats not really the point is it.

they should have phoned you. i would be having a word.

pigletmania Fri 30-Nov-12 07:31:37

YANBU that is appealling. I would talk to the head of nursery, if this keeps happening remove him

3bunnies Fri 30-Nov-12 06:40:59

Some children can be quite sensitive around potty training incidents, so they were unreasonable not to make more effort, at least to ask you to bring spare clothes to collect you. These places are generally quite hot so he was probably ok playing there, if it isn't an issue for him.

Dd2 was really upset when she 'miss aimed' at nursery and made her pants wet. When ds recently did the same he sauntered out full of the story of the new trousers. I would ask them next time to ring you if he needs clean clothes to be collected, and maybe send in a few more spares.

DozyDuck Fri 30-Nov-12 06:40:18

What I do is as soon as a change comes home I wash it and send it straight back so they can't run out. But if DS had that many accidents and they ran out they would use school spares or they would call me.i would be very cross if he was left cold

Sirzy Fri 30-Nov-12 06:37:36

I wouldn't worry about the dignity side of things but they should have had spares to keep him warm.

Perhaps instead of leaving clothes there all the time send a bag in with him each day then you can monitor how many clothes are left. I always make sure dS has 3 spare sets of clothes with him just incase!

FergusSingsTheBlues Fri 30-Nov-12 06:33:31

I think its QUITE clear from my post that the temperature is what bothers me the most but, YES, also the indignity. Would he have been sent out without pants too if they had run out of those? All it took was a phonecall.

Rosa Fri 30-Nov-12 06:27:40

YANBU at all. i would be furious . He is 2 FGS all it needs is communication between the adults ...something obviously lacking.

OpheliaPayneAgain Fri 30-Nov-12 06:26:13

ok, so its his dignity you were worried about rather than the temperature outside?

FergusSingsTheBlues Fri 30-Nov-12 06:19:41

No, im not annoyed they ran out, but am fuming that they didnt just pick up the phone to me. It was middle of the afternoon as well, my mum could easily have gone home for more. Cannot believe they could bate to watch him walk out the door like that...the indignity!

OpheliaPayneAgain Fri 30-Nov-12 06:19:18

Depends what your issue actually is. I would be annoyed if a pair of joggers couldnt be found if he had to walk home, but if it's a quick lift into the car, it wouldn't bother me. at 2 they don't care what they are sitting around in, so pants wouldnt bother him.

FWIW my two were at prep school from 2yrs 9 months, the uniform was proper old boys shorts. Very short. No one died of chapped knees.

MammaTJ Fri 30-Nov-12 06:16:59

YANBU!! I would be furious and make a point of telling them so.

On the other hand, did you not notice that you had had a few wet clothes sent home lately? Would that not make you check how much he had left there?

firefliesinjune Fri 30-Nov-12 06:15:30

I would be very mad! The Nursery I work in sometimes has lots of spare clothes for accidents - and if you had already provided spare clothes where have they gone?! I would take it further - not good enough at any time of the year let alone when its freezing! Your poor DS.

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