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Sorry I didn't mean to be aggressive. 
I missed the bit where the OP said she'd rather the aunts and uncles didn't send presents - apologies.
It was the idea that the children were being "bought off" that I found vile. I do exactly the same with DH's nephews - we never see them, never have anything to do with them, have no relationship with them, but I send Christmas presents out of niceness. The idea that someone would do that to "buy off" children is bizarre, it hints at rather devious intentions on the part of the sender.
My question about sending nothing was genuine: this thread has made me wonder whether DH's nephews' mother views us as "buying off" her children at Christmas. 
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