predictable Xmas email from relatives!

[carocaro]

Two sets of Aunts & Uncles (my bro & wife and DH sister & husband) who hardly ever see their neice & nephew, only ones in the family and they only live 2 hours away, not seen either since April, we've invited them here loads, been to where they live to see other people and DS's sister they were too busy to see us.

It pissed me off when I get an email asking what they would like for Christmas and can it be got on Amazon cos they do gift wrapping which makes it all so easy one click!!!!

Could you give less of a shit about them, really? I'd rather they had nothing that just be drop shipped presents when the fancy takes you!!!!

AIBU?

[nickelbabeuntiladvent]

fucking hell.
one so many levels.
do they have to wrap it?
doesn't it cost like £2.50 to wrap it?

[AnnieMated]

YABVVVU. People don't want to buy things that aren't wanted or needed. Most people don't have money to waste and are also time-poor too. I'd far rather someone asked me what my kids would like than a) not bother at all or b) waste their time and money second-guessing.

[fruityoatybrains]

At least they are making the effort to actually get a present. Maybe they have very busy lives? Seems rather a small thing to be annoyed at.

[FestiveWench]

YABU

[Dead69Girl]

YABU

[MrsChestyLaRue]

I would reply

"Oh they don't expect presents from you so don't worry, but if you really want to buy th something get X but don't waste money on postage and wrapping and just bring it over when you visit [sweetsmileemoticon]"

[Whoknowswhocares]

I can understand your point. It would be nice to have them come over and give the kids the presents, spend time with you etc etc

But pissed off and rathering they didn't bother at all? Unreasonable, sorry!

[nickelbabeuntiladvent]

ps: can you ask them to chooser it from an independent retailer who will also giftwrap it on request without charging?

oh, is this not a thread about amazon?

[HerRoyalNotness]

I don't think are you BU actually. I'd rather my siblings had a proper relationship with my DC than buy them gifts. Bit difficult for us, as we all live in different countries though

[Floralnomad]

If it offends you so much just email back and tell them not to bother then. YABU.

[IceNoSlice]

It's obv not really the Amazon present thing that's really upsetting you, but the 'not giving a shit about DCs'. Which is sad, but not something you can do a great deal about. So I would respond to the email with gift ideas from amazon and let them assuage their guilt, as well as getting something nice for DCs. Then try not to think about it (or them) anymore.

[pictish]

Yabu. My bil does exactly the same. Emails and asks what to get off Amazon.
I email links back and the job's a good un! We don't see much of him either.

You have a problem with this, why?

[Greensleeves]

Are you just hurt that they don't bother with you and your children? If so then maybe you could talk to them about that - write a letter?

Your OP just sounds like someone bristling with anger because they aren't making much effort with presents - which on its own would attract lots of cries of "entitled" and "ungrateful" on MN. But it sounds like that's not really what you are pissed off about.

[DreamingOfTheMaldives]

I don't think you are being completely unreasonable.

I don't think it is unreasonable to ask you what your DC would like for Christmas, as it is better to get something they would like, but I do think it's a bit off hand of them to suggest it should be from Amazon so they can have it gift wrapped and delivered from there! What about them putting some effort in to the present rather than just inputting card details and pressing OK.

It's a bit thoughtless, and lazy, of them.

[MadameCreeper]

I think yabu. There's nothing wrong with asking someone what their children want for Christmas!
There's nothing wrong with using the wrapping and delivery services if you're not going to actually see someone. It's much more convenient than having to buy, wrap, go to the post office, hope the recipients are in when it arrives. I'm using an Amazon locker at an agreed location for one relative and emailing them the code.
I probably wouldn't have openly said amazon because its so easy, unless I felt really comfortable with them and they'd take it as a slightly humorous comment.

[CMOTDibbler]

I've got 6 nephews and nieces. When 5 of them were little, we didn't see them that often, living 2 hours away (as it happens), and never knew what to buy them. So we asked for an Amazon wishlist in order to know that no one else had bought the same thing, and we weren't wasting our money.

At least they are buying them actual presents and getting them to you for Christmas.

[Doingthedo]

as least they are getting something, my children have had NOTHING from their 'uncle' (DH bro) in 8 years - NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[carrie74]

Crikey, this is how most of our Christmas is organised, TBH. My brother lives on a different continent, and Amazon is perfect for him to send things for my children and vice versa. We don't bother with the gift wrapping (I wrap them when they arrive). My SIL lives 3 hours away, and it's difficult to always know if we'll get together over Xmas (we definitely won't be this year), so it's another way of ensuring the children actually get something. They would also prefer to receive something they want and not repetitive, so although I like choosing the gifts myself, it's not always appreciated, so now I wait for the Amazon links, telling me what to buy.

That's how it works in H's family. In our family, there's usually a request for ideas of gifts, but that's not necessarily what we'll receive.

[simplesusan]

I do think a 2 hour drive is quite far tbh.
At least they take the trouble to ask and post the gifts so that they arrive on time. My ex bil/sil didn't even do that. They dumped the presents at another relatives and we had to go and collect them AFTER Christmas! They only lived 20 mins away!!!!

[carocaro]

I think it's just a one liner email, no phone call, nothing, no acknowledgement that they have not even seen them since April that bugs me. There is zilch relationship between them, no thought, is it the though that counts if the thought is crap?

Seriously, I would rather they got nothing than never see them, to me it's buying them off and ticking them off some sort of 'to do' list. My children ask us why they don't see them much and I can't think of an answer, which makes me angry/sad.

Shall I say they buy you off at Xmas and Birthday's so that's OK? I know for a fact they would just love to see them and spend time with them, their relationship should not wholly be based on the opening of a box from Amazon or anywhere else for that matter. That's what bugs me.

[ReshapeWhileDamp]

Blimey, I wish my SIL would start an amazon wishlist for her DD and herself. I've asked her lots of times to, because she is frankly no help when I ring her to ask what her DD (who seems to have everything) wants for Christmas or birthday. And DSs have had wishlists since they were born (my parents and brother use them) and it really does cut down on duplicate presents.

OP, YABU. They're being thoughtful enough to get your children presents and make sure it's something they want. Maybe they could drive over once in a while, but that might be a different matter.

[NoTeaForMe]

Totally unreasonable I think. It's a nightmare buying for children that you see a lot, let alone ones you don't see. How are they supposed to know what they have or what they would like? Would you rather they didn't ask and got them something they already have or that's totally inappropriate?!

If you don't really see them then you don't see them, but to me amazon and gift wrap makes sense, they can have it delivered straight to you all wrapped and ready rather than paying twice for postage!

I don't think you like them very much do you?!

[QueenofNightmares]

Wow your children will actually get gifts from their aunts and uncles? My DD's Aunt lives 20 minutes from us max never see's her hasn't ever brought her a thing. Couldn't care less to be honest.

Take a deep breath and a step back at least they're thinking of your children Could you go see them more often perhaps if its bothering you so much? If your children ask why they don't seem them very often just say that adults lead very busy lives and so its hard for either of you to vist the other.