To not send Christmas Cards

(121 Posts)
crimbo12 Wed 28-Nov-12 13:18:00

So I am faced with a list of about 50 family, aquaintances, old colleagues etc. My only communication with these people is by Xmas cards each year. Each year I get increasingly irritated by this process, the cost and waste of paper. Even with close friends and family I can give a personal Greeting (and sometimes even a drink!) so why do I also send them a bit of cardboard to put on a shelf.

So what would you think if you received a card with this message
"Crimbo and Family have decided this will be the last year we send Cards at Christmas. If you would like to send us your email address we will send Seasons Greetings this way in future. If you prefer not to then be assured you will be in our thoughts during the Festive Season"

I may or may not be brave enough to actually do this

CailinDana Wed 28-Nov-12 13:20:29

Don't send the message, it comes across a bit hostile. Just don't bother with the cards and say "Happy Christmas" to whomever you happen to see. I don't bother with cards. PILs on the other hand still give us a card even when they spend Christmas at our house - how mental is that?

WorraLiberty Wed 28-Nov-12 13:20:37

I don't know what I'd think really.

I stopped sending Xmas cards 2 years ago but didn't announce it.

Mind you, it does sound like a good idea if you want to gather email addresses...but I can't help thinking it sounds a bit 'official'...you know like a public service announcement? grin

Work on making the wording less formal perhaps?

Floggingmolly Wed 28-Nov-12 13:24:39

I forgot to post ours last year (found the pile in one of the Christmas decorations boxes after Christmas), and I don't think anyone actually noticed.

WilsonFrickett Wed 28-Nov-12 13:28:25

I bought last year but CBA to send. The world didn't collapse, funnily enough. I wouldn't do the messagey thing though.

babybythesea Wed 28-Nov-12 13:38:44

I don't send Christmas cards and haven't for about five years,
There is no-one I'd send one to that I don't have an email address for or wouldn't see.

Instead, on around Nov 25th, I send an email and post a facebook status saying: As usual, I will not be sending any Christmas cards this year. Instead, I am donating the money I saved to (insert charity and comment on what they do). Merry Christmas every one!

This year, I bought some things from the John Lewis refuge christmas list after seeing it advertised on here. So the money bit said: Instead, I went to the John Lewis website and bought a gift from their gift list (number 522953) which will go to someone (either a woman or a child) who is living in a refuge this Christmas and hopefully make their day a little bit brighter.

Last year I donated to WaterAid so made a mention of helping someone somewhere to receive fresh water in time for Christmas, and the previous year it was BookAid - you get the picture. Several people have commented on how they like the idea and at least two people now do similar! Why not go down that route? Send a message saying that this is the last year you will send one but will instead donate the money to charity in future but you would appreciate an email address so you can still get in touch to wish them a merry christmas. And then donate a fiver or tenner or whatever. And no-one can grumble!

TheCrackFox Wed 28-Nov-12 13:39:22

I didn't post cards last year, I really couldn't be arsed. No one mentioned it.

baublesandbaileys Wed 28-Nov-12 13:40:54

I love christmas cards, but honestly don't keep tabs on who HASN'T sent them,

so just don't do it, but DON'T sent a shitty "I'm not doing it cause of the environement blah blah" email, or worse still "I'm donating to charity instead" - like sending cards and donating to charity are mutually exlusive hmm - if you want to ALSO donate to charity, just do it! it sort of takes some of the altruism out of it if you announce it to your whole email address book!

I have been wondering whether to prune my christmas card list severely, this year. Last year I sent about 120, and received about 40, and was considering only sending cards to those 40 this year. But already I am feeling The Guilt at even considering this, let alone doing it.

Please slap some sense into me.

I am not sending cards this year. I did mention it on here a while back and said I was going to donate to charity instead. Then got told off for not donating all year round. grin

baublesandbaileys Wed 28-Nov-12 13:44:17

also the snotty "we're giving to charity instead this year" emails make me think the person is less generous, because it reads like they never gave to charity before IYKWIM

most people donate to charity particularly at christmas time, whether they give cards or not, just get on with it if that's what you want to do

I wont be writting IN my christmas cards, Oh but I also bought off the refuge list and donated to X, Y, and Z charity plus the food bank (which we always do) - so why announce your donations in your "i'm not sending cards" email greeting!

just wish people happy christmas if you see/email them!

EIizaDay Wed 28-Nov-12 13:45:59

I haven't sent xmas cards for about 15 years. I just don't do it. I didn't tell anyone, I think they just kind of guessed over the years that I was pretty pissed off with the falseness of that time of year.

babybythesea Wed 28-Nov-12 13:51:15

Well, you see, to me they are mutually exclusive.

I don't have any money. This week for example, I have my 'need to get' list for groceries, and I have about half the money I need for it. So I don't have enough to get all the food we need for the next week.

Therefore sending cards or donating to charity is a big deal - I don't want people to think I've forgotten them by not sending anything especially when they send me cards. But if I can scrape a bit of cash together I'd rather do something useful with it. I really hate being poor and don't want to be a scrooge so I don't want to say to people either 'I don't care enough about you to send a card when you sent one to me' (obviously not out loud but that seems to me to be the implicit message by just not sending) or to just send an email message which seems a bit off as well. So I tell them that they were in my thoughts but that the money has gone to someone who needs it even more than I do. Surely if a couple of friends now do the same thing because they thought it a good idea, then in fact I did a good thing by telling peopple because the charities have gained more money as a result?

babybythesea Wed 28-Nov-12 13:55:53

Think I'm going to leave the thread - something which is a big deal in this house is clearly sneered at elsewhere and it's making me uncomfortable. Dh works for a charity and I did too (and now I volunteer with them when I can)before DD was born so it's not as though this is our one contribution all year - we just contribute with effort rather than money normally. I think just not sending christmas cards smacks a bit of being scrooge-like and not thinking about people and I want to reassure people that I am neither. Sorry if it offends so many of you.

PostBellumBugsy Wed 28-Nov-12 13:56:29

I send Christmas cards because I like the people I send them to. If I didn't I wouldn't bother. The people I send to are worth a few minutes of my time & the price of a stamp. But that is just my view - if I resented the time & money I was spending, I wouldn't do it.

I love receiving Christmas Cards too - I think there is something really lovely about getting something nice in the post.

I work for a charity and think most of my friends probably already give to charities so I would feel embarrassed emailing them telling them I spent Christmas card money on a donation to charity - but I do understand why people do it.

I hate Christmas cards and haven't sent any for years. I never announced it though, I just stopped sending them and told people why as I/if I saw them.

I wouldn't bother sending a card with a 'I'm not doing this anymore' kind of message in - way too formal and sounds worse than just not doing it anymore!

EIizaDay Wed 28-Nov-12 14:00:58

babybythesea - I disagree. If you think that you are judged by sending (or not sending christmas cards) then I think you need to find a different set of acquaintances. It surely is the most artificial and superficial way of saying you are thinking of them. There are much better ways (on any of the other 364 days of the year)

PostBellumBugsy Wed 28-Nov-12 14:04:04

Eliza - just out of interest, why is sending a card to a friend artificial & superficial?

I am thinking of the trees more than anything.

ImperialStateKnickers Wed 28-Nov-12 14:04:57

I now only send Christmas cards to a small group of older relatives who haven't caught up with the digital revolution. I stopped the cards to people I see week in week out about five years ago, and to the younger but not living in the area friends and relatives two years ago. Only one of them has even noticed, and then only to comment that she was going to do the same.

I do leave Christmas cards, which I buy from the RSPCA/Dogs Trust/Blue Cross/whichever animal charity has the best designs that year, at my client's homes during the week before Christmas when I collect their dogs for their walks.

babybythesea Wed 28-Nov-12 14:10:05

I've never had anyone in real life judge me for sending or not, or for saying I'll donate to charity instead. It is entirely my feelings on it - so Ill keep my friends thanks.
The judgements on giving to charity and choosing to mention it to people have come entirely from here.

judefawley Wed 28-Nov-12 14:11:27

I wouldn't announce it - just do it.

This will be our second year of not sending any cards. It's very liberating and I hear of more and more people doing this. I think they are going out of fashion.

I don't display any of the cards we get either. <bah humbug>

Sokmonsta Wed 28-Nov-12 14:12:36

Each to their own. I tend to drop a few people from my card list every year. Work acquaintances I no longer see, people who I don't generally keep in touch with anymore for various reasons.

The people who get Christmas cards are the people I would send birthday cards to, or other mail in the post every now and then. I still give to charity through the year so I don't feel I need to stop sending cards and give that money instead. That kinda seems a bit attention seeking to me - look what I do instead of sending you a card.

If you don't want to send cards don't. If you want to donate to charity then do it. But don't ram it down the throats of people who choose otherwise or you risk being seen as trying to be superior to your friends and family.

I'm sure it can come up in casual conversation better than making a public statement via email or other means and seem more sincere.

Me neither juse. Nowhere to put them.

This is the first year I wont be sending any either. Its for a number of reasons, the buying of the cards, the time spent writing, and the serious cost of second class stamps.
I forewarned my PIL's and DM as they are of an age to get a bit sniffy about it.
When my DF passed away, I got into the habit of buying a gift from World Vision on his birthday, fathers day, anniversary etc. So I will do that.
But tbh my contribution to charity is my business alone and not related to sending cards or not.

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