to assume dp will have the (ahem) wet patch in the bed...?

(209 Posts)
lottie63 Wed 28-Nov-12 00:32:05

Just that really. He always expects ME to sleep in it. Sometimes I would just like him to say 'Don t worry. You have the dry half'..

frantic51 Wed 28-Nov-12 09:31:04

Hecate grin

Surely paper only works for the end result? What about during?

I'm always in the wet patch, doesn't really bother me.

Lol at a towel!

'Dear can you stop moving please we are heading towards the edge of the towel!'


HecatePropylaea Wed 28-Nov-12 09:37:29

Well, yes. If it was a hand towel. you need a HUGE one!

no pun intended.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Wed 28-Nov-12 09:41:46

So what happened at the end Op? Who was the lucky one?

KenLeeeeeee Wed 28-Nov-12 09:42:14

This is another reason pelvic floor exercises are crucial. Post-coital clench to hold the mess in, then run to the bathroom. Ne'er a wet patch in sight. <helpful> if your fanjo leaks it out over the next day does this means pelvic muscles are a little weak?
What about if bath water gets sucked up?

I am asking because a friend sometimes has this...ahem.

InNeedOfBrandy Wed 28-Nov-12 10:07:40

I can suck bath water up, but I don't get spunk trickling out all over the next day.

Sallyingforth Wed 28-Nov-12 10:39:47

Interesting to see this topic come (ahem) up again as it was the subject of my first ever post on mn.
In our case dp is only half of the problem as I get very wet when I'm excited. Am I the only one to contribute to the wet patch?
Btw it's not pee.

KellyEllyChristmasBelly Wed 28-Nov-12 11:48:39

Never done the wet patch thing - hold it in, nip to the loo, squeeze out - he wipes cock with tissue = noone in the wet patch grin

Cherylkerl Wed 28-Nov-12 11:50:06

poorbuthappy I'm glad you mentioned that - thought I was imagining the crispy sex towel thread

Cherylkerl Wed 28-Nov-12 11:51:34

And you are all lying - you ALL hurry off to the loo siphon it out of the condom. Liz Jones said so.

Am I the only person who has a box of tissues next to the bed? Sod running off to the loo in the middle of the night confused

Lesbeadiva Wed 28-Nov-12 12:10:20

Jiz Lones

Cherylkerl Wed 28-Nov-12 12:13:40

grin Jiz Lones

Pascha Wed 28-Nov-12 12:14:50

I can honestly say I've never had a wet patch problem. Tissue and shuffle does me. Can't think of anything worse than lying there letting it all seep out making me sticky. Yuk.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Wed 28-Nov-12 12:16:48

Clench and hold it in, and go for a wee or invite cystitis. Practice your pelvic floor exercises. <smug never had a wet patch smiley>

BrianCoxIsEatingBrains Wed 28-Nov-12 12:20:23

Sallyingforth I'm glad you posted that before I did.

The male is not always at fault is all I'm saying and you can't 'hold it in' so to speak when it happens at crucial point of coitus channels Sheldon from Big Bang


BrianCoxIsEatingBrains Wed 28-Nov-12 12:21:01

aaand, erm, have never had any complaints - exact opposite in fact cos men are weird

honeytea Wed 28-Nov-12 12:21:45

I have the wet patch developing hours after sex has finished. We had sex to try and encourage our baby to come out (I'm 38+4) I woke up at 3AM and thought that my waters had broken but sadly not sad My midwife told me that mywaters will smell like sperm (random off topic) is this true?

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Wed 28-Nov-12 12:22:14

But, how do you push it out/wipe bit all around. The viscosity of the substance means it comes out in its own time, unless you all douche?

imnotmymum Wed 28-Nov-12 12:23:09

Agreed grab some knickers on and go to loo

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere Wed 28-Nov-12 12:34:05

The viscosity of the substance means it comes out in its own time, unless you all douche?

I am snorting like a maniac at that sentence grin grin

Am I the only one who rolls carefully onto one side to sort of tip it in? I always try to scrape myself off to the loo after the snuggly bit though, otherwise you get a flood of it just when you're all warm and sleepy.

On an unrelated note, I hate that bit in Bridget Jones where she still has her bra on after she and Hugh GRant DTD. WHY?

BelaLugosisShed Wed 28-Nov-12 12:39:05

I make a bigger wet patch than DH wink careful use of tissues before de-coupling is my recommended method, followed by me flinging more tissues at DH ( he's always covered blush , if it's more than 6 mansize then it's been a good session grin .

Theala Wed 28-Nov-12 12:47:06

* When TTC you should try and keep it in though, *

Wait...what? I thought any little sperms that were going to get up that far, got sent up in the first whoosh, as it were?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now