...to leave the barstard?

[PignutSalamander]

mn jury, please either give me a kick up bum and some pointers as to what the hell else i can try to make him step up. or hold my hand while i leave the barstard and maybe some tips or info about access.

ok i'll try and be succinct. we have a dd who is not yet one. he averages about an hour and a half a week childcare in ten min bursts. he smokes weed lightly in the day but heavilly at night (we both did before we startedd ttc but both stopped as we agreed it was not what we wanted to raise a child around) he stays up till the wee hours playing computer games and smoking (outside) then physically cannot get up with us in the morn. i already feel like a single parent but i still have his mess and clutter to deal with.

this last week there have been two incidents where she was put in danger by his (dare i say) negligence. the first she fell of the bed but the second the was crawling around unsupervised for three hour as he fell asleeep watching her. i was in bed very ill on high doses of pain releif but

[AnyFucker]

ok

you have two children to care for

which one is not deserving of it ?

jettison him...he is a tool

[HeartsTrumpDiamonds]

Agree with AF. It's hard enough being a mum, without having to be a mum to your partner too.

Any idea why your OP posted about twenty times? Could I suggest you report it to MNHQ so they can delete the superfluous ones and then you will only have one thread with responses to follow and plus it won't clutter up the boards?

[MurderOfGoths]

Sounds like it would be best for you to leave.

I assume you've spoken to him about all of this? Has he made any attempt to change? If not then I think he's already answered this for you. If he isn't willing to make an effort then why should you?

[flow4]

Am I the only person who can see this same thread posted 33 times?!
(Tho' this is the only one with comments...)

[Worley]

thought it was just my phone playing up but no 20 posts !

he will never change. you and dc will always come second fiddle to the weed.. and so you want your children to grow with that as a role model and to be in the prescence of drugs..

[PacificDogwood]

Sounds like you grew up when you became a parent and he did not.
I don't think there is much you can do to make him behave like a responsible adult. You, however, can behave like the mother your daughter needs.

Go, make a life for the 2 of you without being weighed down by him.
If HE changes his ways, then there might be a chance he can still be a father to your child.
Nothing worse than an adult behaving like a childish child .

[fortyplus]

REPORTED AS SPAM - the same thread has been started dozens of times

[HeartsTrumpDiamonds]

I've reported too fortyplus - 33 times and counting, to be exact!

[HeartsTrumpDiamonds]

I mean, the thread has been posted 33 times, not I've reported 33 times

[OliviaMumsnet]

@fortyplus

REPORTED AS SPAM - the same thread has been started dozens of times

Hello yes, we are on the case with this.

[OliviaMumsnet]

For OP

[NotQuintAtAllOhNo]

Olivia, are you having fun?

This is like Josten Gaarder.

[PomBearWithAnOFRS]

this last week there have been two incidents where she was put in danger by his (dare i say) negligence
This tells you what you need to know really :(
Without getting into the whole weed debate, it DOES affect people and it DOES prevent them from functioning "normally" if they are under it's effects. Looking after a small child needs every sense on max alert, and even then it's a full time job so to speak, they need almost constant attention when they're awake and an ear and eye on them even when they're asleep.
Just think about the "might have" and "could have" happened scenarios - is his weed habit really worth your daughter's wellbeing, health, safety, or even life? You know the answer to this and we're all here - the Relationships board has loads of very knowledgeable people with excellent advice, and we're all here to hand hold and be supportive and lend an ear when you need one too.
Your baby comes first, she must - if her own mother won't put her first, what chance has she got?

[ballroomblitz]

Is this a real thread or not? If it is all I will say is hmm been there pignut with the weed, drugs, sleeping all day. Do what your title says.I did and best thing I ever did rather than being stuck with a waster.