x mas present for dc been ruined by friend wwyd

(152 Posts)
wonderingsoul Sun 25-Nov-12 10:22:38

not sure what to do about this. but couple of weeks ago i had been in town with a friend. she is a lovely friend. i had brought to presents for my dc. coming to £30. which may not sound alot but it is to me and her. i hadnt noticed the time so had to speed of to get kids from school.

she kindly offered to take them back to hers so they wouldnt see the bags and see whats inside. and said shed bring them with her when she came to mine later that night when the kids where asleep.

she forgot and has forgotton the other times. iv offered to go up hers a few times but shes been at work or out.
but as it is her kids have got hold of them and are slightly dirty (their two talking tomes. 2 for 30 in argos) and used basically.

my delimea is now.. i want the money to buy new ones. or it to be replaced. but shes has big money troubles.. so do i

a- just replace them myself and wait for the money instalments .. though i dont really have the money to replace them along with the other stuff i have to get.

b- just forget about them for christmas and get th emoney in the new year.

part of me feels bad wanting to ask her becasue i know her money troubles but then the other part of me feels like my children shouldnt miss out of the presents i brought becasue of it.

timeforachangebaby Sun 25-Nov-12 10:24:13

wipe them? Its not like your children will notice. Are they still in the packaging? Take them back and tell Argos they were like it but you didn't notice in the shop, that is quite likely to be the case anyway.

iHaveNoIkea Sun 25-Nov-12 10:26:04

Agree with timeforachange but if the presents are beyond that point then I'd be asking her to replace them. Did she just tell you her kids had been playing with them and not apologise or offer you the money? That's very rude.

Yamyoid Sun 25-Nov-12 10:26:16

Clean them up. If the children are young, they won't care if they're not in the packaging, just wrap them. Don't lose out on them just because they're a bit dirty.

pictish Sun 25-Nov-12 10:26:50

Depends how used they are. If they just took them out of the packaging and fiddled for a while, no worries.

wonderingsoul Sun 25-Nov-12 10:26:55

no theve been taken out the packaging.

but yes this may be the best solution if it can be cleaned back to new. im just..alitlle.. ok a lot.. annoyed. which my b u but i cant help feel like it.

TheLightPassenger Sun 25-Nov-12 10:27:06

your friend shouldn't have let her kids play with them BUT given you are both so badly off, I would let it go, and as the other poster suggests, give them a clean, your children are unlikely to notice.

Welovecouscous Sun 25-Nov-12 10:27:26

Sorry this happened sad I would be upset too.

Sadly, If you give things to a friend to care for you have to accept some risk they may not be looked after quite as you would wish. That said - she should have kept them safe. So a bit of unreasonableness on both sides.

If the money means she can't offer to replace and you can't either can they just be wiped and wrapped? If the kids are really young they won't notice. How old are the kids?

TheLightPassenger Sun 25-Nov-12 10:28:08

she let her kids take them out of the packaging shock. I wouldn't let her near your stuff again TBH.

timeforachangebaby Sun 25-Nov-12 10:28:15

My DS did this so someone elses present (thankfully that I had bought), I wrapped the packaging with sellotape and explained to the mum, the DC didnt even notice the damaged packing.

Such a shame, I now leave everything out of reach.

wonderingsoul Sun 25-Nov-12 10:28:48

no she appogised that the kids had got hold of them. but kind oif ummed and arred about the money. will have to see them before i decided what to do. which will be today.

i know i should have got them sooner, but shes a good friend and should have kept them some where safe. like iv done for her on occasions.

SavoyCabbage Sun 25-Nov-12 10:29:02

I take toys out of the packaging before unwrap them for Christmas so I don't have to do it on the day.

TheLightPassenger Sun 25-Nov-12 10:30:09

yes, sometimes people, as savoy cabbage does, unwrap pressies beforehand anyway, particularly if they need batteries/assembly so they are ready to play with as soon as they are opened.

DowntonTrout Sun 25-Nov-12 10:30:29

I know people are saying just clean them up. But she let her DCs take them out of the packaging and and play with them?

I don't have any sensible advice but I would be very angry. What did she say about it? Did she apologise?

flow4 Sun 25-Nov-12 10:30:30

Your kids won't notice, honestly smile
When DS was little, I was really broke, and I did a couple of Christmases with a total budget of £15 for toys/presents for him. I bought good quality stuff second hand from the market, and he didn't know or care! :D

wonderingsoul Sun 25-Nov-12 10:31:07

3 and 7. tbh the kids prob wont notice that their not in their boxes.

if i think about it its more me that cares they wont be and their not "new" "new"

Softlysoftly Sun 25-Nov-12 10:31:15

I don't think she should have expected her mate to let the kids play with Christmas presents that's just bloody rude.

YANBU to be very annoyed but as pps said if you are both skint clean them up and wrap them the kids won't notice.

Svrider Sun 25-Nov-12 10:31:55

I'm hmm at the other posters tbh
Your "friend" should have never allowed her dc any where near those presents
Out of interest did she allow them to open the presents she'd brought?
Don't accept the opened presents
She needs to replace them

pingu2209 Sun 25-Nov-12 10:32:43

That is totally out of order. I would be massively pissed off if my children's presents were opened and played with. I would expect the other mum to replace.

Yamyoid Sun 25-Nov-12 10:32:45

Yanbu to be annoyed but it's done now. Just get the toys back, clean them and try not to let it spoil your friendship. She shouldn't have let it happen and should have brought them straight over to you as soon as her kids got at them but life gets hectic with kids around and these things happen. Hope you can rescue them.

pictish Sun 25-Nov-12 10:33:30

Oh right - well in that case, I'd take them back and wrap up, as suggested.
If nothing else you'll know not to hand your lott over to other people for safeguarding again.

I don't think this need be anything other than a lesson learned. Yeah she was a bit remiss, but aren't we all at times?

It's cool. Just give them as they are now. The kids will love them! x

pictish Sun 25-Nov-12 10:33:48

loot even

SavoyCabbage Sun 25-Nov-12 10:33:57

I don't think we are saying its ideal rider, just that it's happened now and the friend doesn't have much money.

TheLightPassenger Sun 25-Nov-12 10:33:58

the problem with demanding a replacement is the lovely friend may no longer be lovely, and may need constant chasing for either a replacement or the money. So in terms of the stress and hassle factor, if they can be cleaned up, it will be better for the OP in the long run.

DowntonTrout Sun 25-Nov-12 10:34:06

Sorry x posts.

I still think its awful that she didn't just put them away somewhere safe.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now