to hate my birthday

(56 Posts)
McChristmasPants2012 Sat 24-Nov-12 01:40:46

I am trying to do something for my birthday after many years of bitter disappointed.

My birthday is 11 days before christmas, it always have been lol, I understand that people are short of cash with christmas but I want one year to be a bit special.

I am just getting a bit sick of the only excuss that christmas is so close.

dawntigga Sun 25-Nov-12 21:27:33

McChristmasPants2012 good for you, we shall be eating naice food I haven't had to cook v much and watching The Polar Express in our new pj's whilst eating birthday cake - if anyone buys me one, it's been 43 years I'm pretty sure another one will slip by without a cake - or similar goody.

IShallBeMakingMemoriesForTheCubThisYearAndThat'sMoreImportantTiggaxx

Glitterspy Sun 25-Nov-12 20:06:56

I just had my birthday dinner last night (the actual day is in the week) and with a bit of forward planning/booking, it all works out gear most years. I get that if it was nearer to Xmas/NYE that's hard though. So Pascha don't worry about your due date, your child will have a magical birthday, this time of year is just before the madness begins!

streakybacon Sun 25-Nov-12 19:34:29

Hope you have a lovely time, McChristmas grin.

McChristmasPants2012 Sun 25-Nov-12 17:57:55

thanks for all the replys.

sorted out my birthday, i am going to have a night in with a bottle of wine and some naiche snacks.

ContinentalKat Sun 25-Nov-12 17:56:19

I feel your pain! As a child it was sort of ok (except for the joint presents), as everybody would turn up for my party. Mostly because parents relished a few child- free hours before Christmas. Nowadays my birthday is the day that everybody travels home. Great.

Dcs birthdays are very carefully planned summer birthdays!

mrsnec Sun 25-Nov-12 17:37:17

Mine is the 20th of Dec. Used to hate it but it's easier to deal with as I get older. Was due on boxing day and that would have been worse! When I was a kid I'd often get small presents on my brother's birthday in July so I didn't feel left out! I used to get joint pressies and sometimes still do but I don't mind that. Also growing up my DM didn't let us put the tree up until after my birthday so I tend to put ours up really early now! As the others have said my problem is I hardly ever get to celebrate with my friends. Same issues as above. They often suggest doing things at other times of the year when it's convenient to them and they'll buy me a drink and then declare it my birthday treat! I have one friend who constantly bangs on about her birthday celebrations to the point that I got a bit fed up with it and told her I didn't want to hear about it! Those who make little effort for me get the same in return and its saved me a fortune!

GrendelsMum Sun 25-Nov-12 16:36:35

I think the thing is that once you reach a certain age (about 22 or so?) most birthdays are pretty much non-events. So after that age, everyone's having pretty dull, non eventful birthdays, whether they're at Christmas time or not. Maybe Christmas birthdays seem duller in comparison to the Christmas parties that are going on?

I mean, I'll come straight out - my last birthday (and I was 35, so that's a pretty round number) we didn't do anything in the way of a party or even a special meal, because we had building works going on. I think I got presents from my DH, DM, DB, DSis and my DMiL. That's it. My friends didn't fall over themselves to wish me happy birthday, and I didn't really expect them to.

diddl Sun 25-Nov-12 13:55:58

Well it seems to me that a lot of you just have shit family/friends.

I´m closer to Christmas (but still before) that OP & I love, love, love it!

Are you an only one, OP?

I have a sibling who has a Summer bday.

No joint presents there-so obviously none allowed for me either!

My birthday is tomorrow smile I quite enjoy it, people are starting to feel a bit Christmassy and there are lovely gift sets in the shops etc... My SIL is NY day and everyone is so over partying and gifts by then. I feel sorry for her sad

streakybacon Sun 25-Nov-12 13:46:33

Just thought of something else.

Birthday cards (when they come) arrive in the post with Christmas cards and you often can't tell from the outside which is which. It means you end up opening your birthday cards early and it's harder to save them for the day so you can make it special. That can be a real pain when you only get half a dozen or so because it minimises it.

Reading that back, it sounds so self-obsessed and trivial but it's not really. Everyone has birthdays and it feels unfair when other people have a special day and we Christmas types get forgotten about. I know it had a huge impact on my self-esteem growing up, because it's like being told you're not as important as everyone else.

whois Sun 25-Nov-12 13:22:53

YANBU to be annoyed that people don't make the effort for your birthday.

YABU to complain things are all booked up. It's not a surprise, you could have organised something AGES ago and got your friends to commit and booked somewhere nice.

BionicEmu Sun 25-Nov-12 10:54:56

My birthday is 15th December & DH's is 14th December. It's never really bothered me, but then I've never been one for parties anyway! As a kid I used to have a birthday party & always got separate gifts.

It's a bit crap as an adult now, but only because DH's birthday is the day before. We generally go out on the night of the 14th, so it crosses both birthdays. Sounds great, but in practice it means we usually spend my birthday with a cracking hangover.

Before DC's it was pretty cool as we used to try to go away for our birthdays, and most places are lovely & Christmassy at that time.

My family is all crammed into the end of the year though - mum is end of Nov, DS was due end of Nov but came mid-Oct. Am now pregnant with DC2 who is due end of Jan, but if he comes early like DC1, that puts him right in the birthday/Christmas period.

siblingrivalry Sun 25-Nov-12 10:12:24

<waves to Streaky>

My birthday is 2 weeks before Christmas and I hate it.
When I was a child, everyone was skint and either forgot or said they would 'treat me after Christmas' -which never happened. I always ended up feeling crap and responsible that other people had to find money for gifts etc (still do, actually).

Everyone is, naturally, caught up in Christmas preparations and I always wish the day would slip by unnoticed.
DH and my DDs always make it special and make a big fuss of me now, which is lovely, but my extended family often forget.

DD1 was born just after Christmas and we make a HUGE fuss of her -and woe betide and suggestions of 'joint gifts' from anyone else.
However, she often gets family cards days late and it infuriates me.

woahthere Sun 25-Nov-12 09:58:58

YANBU must be awful. I also hate my birthday, its just after Christmas. Nobody wants to go out as they are skint...or theyre on a detox....or a holiday. My Mum always goes away for the winter so shes never there. Its always just a really big let down. People say...'oh we'll celebrate properly later on' but they never do, its crap.

KitCat26 Sun 25-Nov-12 09:14:06

My mum and uncle's birthday is mid december, my friend's birthday is 24th and MIL is new years eave.

The only one who doesn't like her birthday is my mum, the other two always have a party to go to/everyone is in a celebratory mood. Mum is usually cooking for Christmas.

This year I am thinking of paying for a hotel in London for the night - as a joint present - possibly a bad idea given what you lot have said grin.

streakybacon Sun 25-Nov-12 09:13:38

Another Boxing Day babe here.

My extensive 52 year research on the subject suggests that Christmas birthdays are more successful before the 25th than after, while people still have cash to spend and are still in the party spirit. Afterwards they tend to be skint or have had enough, and when I was growing up bank holidays were much more rigidly observed so just about everywhere was closed.

Like most of you, I also had my share of joint presents, if they came at all - my day usually got lost in the rush. Like it or not, most people are generally selfish and only remember their own needs at Christmas. I used to feel that at least I knew who my real friends were, even if there weren't many of them, because they'd always remember.

In adulthood it would piss me off when we'd go out drinking in larger groups, and someone would remember about 10.30pm that it was Streaky's birthday and scrape together a shitty card effort fashioned from beermats, and not quite grasp why I didn't appreciate it hmm. Over the years I just learned to accept that my birthday wasn't a big deal for anyone, not even family (my mum regularly forgot), so I didn't expect much from it myself.

But since I met dh he's always made an effort to make it special. He once hid white lilies in the coal house for two days because I had mentioned I'd never had flowers on my birthday smile. These days we have our own little party in the garden with the firepit blazing, non-Christmassy food and us all wrapped up in blankets. Dh decorates the garden with lights and lanterns and one of the shrubs gets baubles on it to become my Birthday Tree. To make it special for my birthday, the decorations get done on Boxing Day morning and are put away on the 27th - they are just for my day and definitely not part of Christmas. I love my birthday now and look forward to it more than Christmas Day grin.

OP, if you want your day to be special you'll probably have to make it that way yourself. People WILL forget because it's human nature, but I hope you have a lovely birthday whatever you do smile.

jan2013 Sun 25-Nov-12 08:28:47

mine is new years day so everywhere is closed for a start, everyone is hungover or in bed from the night before, and if you do try and go anywhere its all booked/double the price. people already have plans on that day too with family. dh never did anything for my bday anyway so this year im happy to have a quiet day with my family im past having a fuss made but i know how frustrating it can be!

I did wonder fake, but couldnt figure out how to ask without appearing rude wink

AlwayVerrNosyBeyondxx

JessieMcJessie Sun 25-Nov-12 08:12:16

I thought this was going to be about birthdays in general. Since I hit about 31 I have not really liked the idea of celebrating them at all, I am not remotely happy to be getting a year older. When I hit about 75 and am glad to have hung on another year I may start up again. Hitting 39 this year, with a Dboyfriend 5 years younger, was particularly cringey, next year will be unbearable.

giraffesCantFlyLikeReindeer Sun 25-Nov-12 08:07:37

Dawn has done that for AGES. I would be quite sad if you stopped now!

dawntigga Sun 25-Nov-12 08:01:20

Oh and I pre-date the hashtag.

AlwaysATrendSetterTiggaxx

dawntigga Sun 25-Nov-12 08:00:11

Fake I've always done it, it came as a reaction to something else.

IfYouDon'tLikeItToughTiggaxx

(Both sets of grandparents also got married on boxing day same year too! so I'd also be carrying on a bit of a tradition)

In fact, not only do I not mind my birthday being xmas eve, as a child I always wanted to get married on the 26th so I'd have presents three days in a row grin
Somewhat coincidentally, I ended up having a shotgun wedding, however DS1 was conceived on boxing day! wink

Sokmonsta Sun 25-Nov-12 05:38:53

I really don't get the whole 'joint' present, unless its something big and expensive. Even with a march birthday myself, if I wanted something particularly expensive, it meant I got a much small present at Xmas.

But YANBU. I have a cousin whose birthday is the 23rd and two friends (different social circles) who are on the 27th. I've always done separate cards, presents (in the appropriate wrap) and made sure I've enough money for the night out. My biggest problem has been when both people want to celebrate on their actual day.

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