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AIBU?

To think that just because I look a bit different doesn't mean

193 replies

FrenchRuby · 23/11/2012 23:37

That it's ok to lean out of your car and shout abuse at me? Or make rude comments.
I have blue hair and lots of tattoos and piercings. Now I do know that this is entirely my choice and I do expect odd looks, which to be honest I don't get now nearly as much as I used to but still the the odd double take or people saying they like my hair etc.
Yesterday I was walking my son to school and standing at the road waiting to cross and some guy leaned out of his van and shouted 'Urg what the fuck is that' at me.
It's not the first time people have been rude. A while ago I was sat on the bus with my dh and an old lady leaned over and said to us 'I feel so sorry for your little boy, he is going to be so ashamed of you when he is older'. And I once had a lady tell me that I'd never get a boyfriend with all that metal in my face. How do people think this is ok, just to comment on people's appearance like that? By all means think it, I don't care what people think, if I did I wouldn't look like I do.

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MrsTerryPratchett · 23/11/2012 23:39

It's rude and YANBU. However, I used to have pink hair and piercings and one of the reasons I did it WAS for attention, both positive and negative. Why have blue hair? Why spend the money on dye if you don't want people to react to you? Not being mean, a serious question.

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BuddyTheChristmasElf · 23/11/2012 23:40

those people would have shouted abuse at whoever was walking down the road at the time, they'd have found a reason (old, fat, skinny..)

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WorraLiberty · 23/11/2012 23:40

It's very rude to comment negatively on someone's appearance unless they've specifically asked you for your opinion so YANBU.

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BuddyTheChristmasElf · 23/11/2012 23:41

"I don't care what people think, if I did I wouldn't look like I do."

but, if you genuinely didn't care one way or another how you are outwardly perceived, you wouldn't spend so much money altering the most visible parts of your body, you just wouldn't bother doing anything to your hair at all!

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GhostShip · 23/11/2012 23:41

YANBU

I've had an old woman call me a nazi, I cant only think its because of my piercings and clothing.

Be who you are and be proud. Sometimes it's hard being different

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tryingsoonflying · 23/11/2012 23:41

Bless you, YANBU. I look really boring and conventional but what I have noticed is that (I grew up in 80s) the people who were punky, out there, outre in some way, tended to be the nicest and most clear headed because they had taken a step back from society and had the courage to be different. That's a great lesson for your ds to learn and he will be proud of you when he gets older.

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GhostShip · 23/11/2012 23:42

Buddy - it isn't about what others like, its about what you like.

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HeadfirstForHalos · 23/11/2012 23:42

YANBU.

I love to see people with brightly coloured hair, but even if people dislike it there's no need to be rude or nasty!

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FrenchRuby · 23/11/2012 23:42

Because I think my natural hair colour looks like mud haha! I'm a bright person in general and I get bored really easily :) I do know I'm likely to get attention, that's not the reason I dye my hair, it is nice when people say they like my hair though :) I just think it's rude to shout 'Urg what the fuck is that?' in someone's face! I couldn't (and wouldn't) go up to someone and shout that! I don't see why people feel they can just because I've bunged a bit of dye on my head haha.

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Strawhatpirate · 23/11/2012 23:43

They are horrible twat badgers YANBU Flowers

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threesocksmorgan · 23/11/2012 23:43

yanbu
ds used to get a lot of rude comments like "dirty goth"
tis shit

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toomuch2young · 23/11/2012 23:44

YADNBU.
People are so judgemental. Its horrid. Live and let live is my motto.
I have Tourette syndrome and have insults and judgements almost every time I go out.
Sadly, a thick skin is needed. Move on from those idiots.

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WorraLiberty · 23/11/2012 23:45

Bless you, YANBU. I look really boring and conventional but what I have noticed is that (I grew up in 80s) the people who were punky, out there, outre in some way, tended to be the nicest and most clear headed because they had taken a step back from society and had the courage to be different. That's a great lesson for your ds to learn and he will be proud of you when he gets older

Really?

I was a teenager in the 80's and I knew some right cunts who happened to be punks.

I also knew some right cunts who were 'conventional' looking, skin heads and hippies.

People are people and dying your hair, tattooing/piercing your body doesn't make a tad of difference when it comes to their personalities.

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MrsTerryPratchett · 23/11/2012 23:45

tryingsoonflying you are right. When I was a scary looking teenage, I was the one collecting for charity,working hard at school, helping in shelters and all that. The Young Conservative, straight laced looking ones were conspicuous by their absence.

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FrenchRuby · 23/11/2012 23:46

Buddy I care what I look like but I don't care if other people don't like it, I didn't do it for other people, I do it because I really love bright hair. I genuinely am not a showy off kind of person, I don't go out much, only to drop my ds off at school really and do shopping etc, so it's really for me, so when I look in the mirror I don't think 'urg what a boring face' haha!

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MrsTerryPratchett · 23/11/2012 23:46

Goths were always nice, Worra every one. Grin

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WorraLiberty · 23/11/2012 23:47

Some Goths depressed the fuck out of me MrsT Grin

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BuddyTheChristmasElf · 23/11/2012 23:49

the small time drug dealers in DHs small home town were goths

doesn't mean goth = drug dealer
but goth doesn't = great person either
it means someone who dresses like a goth, some are dicks, some are nice, reverse steriotyping is a bit stupid

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ClippedPhoenix · 23/11/2012 23:50

People choose to look out of the norm because they like the attention etc. so you are bound to get comments good or bad, that's just the way it is.

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SkipTheLightFanjango · 23/11/2012 23:50

An ex-boss of mine kept nagging me about my piercing and his friend said it was a vile mutilation. It was a nose stud ShockGrin

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lisad123 · 23/11/2012 23:53

There's a mum at my dd2 with bright pink hair, I love it and really want to ask how she gets it so bright, but don't want to sound rude.
Blue hair is brilliant, and I wish I could, but red is about as brave as I can be Blush

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FrenchRuby · 23/11/2012 23:56

There's a mum at my dd2 with bright pink hair, I love it and really want to ask how she gets it so bright, but don't want to sound rude

With bleach and a semi pink hair I would imagine, That's how I do mine :)

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FrenchRuby · 23/11/2012 23:57

skipthelightfanjango My mum frequently tells me my piercings are disgusting haha!

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WorraLiberty · 23/11/2012 23:57

There's a Mum like that at my DS's school too lisa

Her hair is exactly like Johnathon Ross' wife's hair Scraggly and over dyed

She gets it so bright by bleaching it totally blonde first and then applying the pink dye on top.

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CleansLate · 23/11/2012 23:59

I had blue hair when DS was starting nursery. One of the mums of a totally different child in a different year said "my DD likes your hair but I've told her it's ridiculous".

Thanks, random woman. I did dye my hair brown after that, ashamed to say, but I was only 22 and got enough judgey looks for being young (was often mistaken for the nanny/au pair), in an area where that wasn't the norm.

At the school the DCs go to now there's a mum in her mid 30s with green hair (sort of forest green), and no judgey looks.

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