AIBU to leave DH to make his own way home?

(104 Posts)

DH due home from London tonight. I had to pick him up from the station as we are having car troubles. Told me he would be on the train arriving at 8.45. Texted me to say he was on train. Now I have been at work all day, come home, fed children, sorted house, been parent helper at guides also. Drove 20 mins in dark and rain to station, waited 25 mins as train was late due to weather. Train came in to station. Train left station. No DH. Called him, sent texts, no reply. So we drove home and the DD's are now in bed asleep. He has just rung, and clearly he has been drinking. The story is he fell asleep and missed his stop, went several stops down the line in fact and is now wending his way back home. I have told him to make his own way back from the station. Now this will be tricky as we live in the arse end of nowhere and there are no taxis. Station a good 10 miles away across country lanes. He clearly thinks I am being unreasonable for not collecting him. AIBU? WWYD?

hf128219 Thu 22-Nov-12 22:26:56

Can he not order a taxi to pick him up?

He can try but he'll be lucky to get someone to come out, the taxis round here are mostly pre-booked posh jobs that do airport runs etc. No buses.

CajaDeLaMemoria Thu 22-Nov-12 22:28:33

Yes. If you didn't live in the middle of nowhere you wouldn't be, but as it is he'll have to walk. That's potentially dangerous, even if he hasn't been drinking.

CajaDeLaMemoria Thu 22-Nov-12 22:29:11

Yes. If you didn't live in the middle of nowhere you wouldn't be, but as it is he'll have to walk. That's potentially dangerous, even if he hasn't been drinking.

He could get off at another stop and spend the night in a pub. He's done it before.

So should I leave the DD's asleep in their beds to go and get him which is what he thinks I should do?

Or do I wake them up and take them?? They have school tomorrow!

How old are dds?

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Thu 22-Nov-12 22:34:06

Would you have to wake up your DDs and put them in the car to collect him?

goralka Thu 22-Nov-12 22:34:23

leave them asleep and go and get him

uniqueatlast Thu 22-Nov-12 22:34:34

I'd wake them and get him but by gosh I'd make him know about it/pay.

You absolutely cannot leave the children asleep.

goralka Thu 22-Nov-12 22:34:54

leave them a note in case they wake up

McTagster Thu 22-Nov-12 22:35:07

10 miles across country lanes? I'd go and get him.

DD's 11 and 8.

goralka Thu 22-Nov-12 22:35:30

ooops conflicting advice here....

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Thu 22-Nov-12 22:35:45

x post - how old are they? If they are old enough to be left I would still wake to tell them you are going out.

Does your DH often drink so much he misses his train stop?

goralka Thu 22-Nov-12 22:36:30

of course you can leave them you will be 45 minutes...if he is a bit pissed and it's all country lanes and shit weather it would be mean to leave him....

I wouldn't leave them at that age.

I wouldn't leave them, they're too young. Can you ring a few taxi companies for him?

Have you left them before? Are they likely to wake up?

Leave them a note & go get him?

Well he is now not answering his phone and I don't know where he is. I have texted him asking where he is but no response.

SamSmalaidh Thu 22-Nov-12 22:38:59

I think you have to get him, but I would be furious!

akaemmafrost Thu 22-Nov-12 22:39:24

I wouldn't leave them. Order him a cab to pick him up from the station?

And yes he has done this before. Last week in fact. And other occasions. There's a long backstory to this which I have posted about before on relationships. Just sometimes I lose my sense of perspective and actually think IABU when actually I think really I am not!

SandStorm Thu 22-Nov-12 22:40:24

11 and 8 is absolutely fine to leave them for the time it will take to go and get him. You can give him hell tomorrow but how would you feel if he doesn't make it home down those dark, country lanes?

If you can, wake the 11 year old just enough to let her know what you're doing though.

Leave him sort himself out. Irresponsible ignorant tosser.

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