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to let my five year old still sleep in my bed, or are the 'eyebrow raisers' BU?

(214 Posts)

There are just the two of us in our house, my daughter is five and loves sleeping in my bed.

She went through a stage where she went to sleep in my bed and stayed there all night. I've managed to get her to go to sleep in her bed, but by about 1am she's sneaked into my bed. Sometimes I notice, sometimes I just wake in the morning and she's there!

To be honest, I quite like it, were very close and rarely spend time away from each other apart from work and school. I have a king size bed so no space issues and she doesn't wriggle and sleeps all night.

BUT people who find this out raise their eyebrows and say its not normal?

My mum is very vocal about it, thinks it wrong, she'll get used to it, she's not a baby blah blah blah. I'm single, no boyfriends so that's not a problem, so who is being unreasonable, me, her or the 'eyebrow raisers'.

And if I need to get her out of the habit, how on earth do I do it. Its just easy to let her get in when its 1am, cold and I'm cosy and warm! wink

OneMoreChap Fri 23-Nov-12 15:30:30

Nothing wrong with kids sleeping in your bed.

Kids used to always come in Sunday mornings and would sneak in if they woke. However, my bed is my bed... And unless I have a sparrow's start/ a cold so I snore badly/ have had too much beer I stay there. As does DW unless her foot hurts, I breathe too loud.

Yes. I know you can have sex in other places. It's still nice snuggling with DW in our own bed.

MissWooWoo Fri 23-Nov-12 15:33:35

oh and fergus my husband snores like a fucking drain and I am a very very light sleeper. without my sleep I am like death warmed up, believe me he gets more action sleeping out of the marital bed than he ever got when he slept in it. we cuddle up on the sofa too!

so there wink

stillsmarting Fri 23-Nov-12 15:50:22

DD did a course at an Italian University. When one of the students said he slept in his mother's bed none of the others even raised an eyebrow.
As long as everyone gets enough sleep it's your choice.

whois Fri 23-Nov-12 18:19:34

As long as those involved ate happy I don't see the issue. I think it's nice for parents to have a bond like that with the DCs.

Apparently I used to go into my parents bed every night until I was about 5, I stopped about the same time they upgraded to a king size bed!

FergusSingsTheBlues Fri 23-Nov-12 18:19:42

We did cosleep for about six months and yes, whoever was in the spare room had great sleep, and it is lovely. But ultimately, we are are apart all day and kids generally rule the roost, we just didnt want to cede our bed as well. We dont always want to be in mum n dad mode. Your bed is the only bit of peace once you have kids and we have our own relationship to maintain.

FrillyMilly Fri 23-Nov-12 18:38:05

fergus my DS is a terrible sleeper and the only way for us to all get some sleep is for him to be in with me and DH in spare room. Yes it would be lovely to have sleepy cuddles with my husband but trying to function on less than 5 hours of broken sleep was not good for our relationship.

MissWooWoo Fri 23-Nov-12 18:55:24

peace? clearly you've never shared a bed with my husband grin Fergus

FergusSingsTheBlues Fri 23-Nov-12 19:47:57

Frilly, that is why we co slept too...my husband was the lighter sleeper so generally ended up being punted into spare room. Our son is 2 and a half and we are overjoyed that he has slept through six nights out of the last seven. We had resorted to bribery, had no idea if it would work...it did. We got desperate cos im six months pg and working ft but in the end a peppa pig sweetie every morning hed been good, and a little matchbox car every three nights seems to have done the trick so far.

DowntonTrout Fri 23-Nov-12 20:06:03

DD 10 still sometimes sneaks into bed with us in the middle of the night.

And she sleeps with me when DH is away. Every time!

I don't particularly tell anyone but I'm really glad so many on here think its ok. It is a lovely, lovely thing.

starmaker7 Fri 23-Nov-12 20:37:26

my dp is house sitting for his mum so I was looking forward to having the bed to myself , the dc's had other ideas though .Its not too bad with one or two but when the 3rd joined us I got out and got in their double bed!!

ukatlast Fri 23-Nov-12 21:23:04

Not a problem especially if she is starting off in her own bed and sneaking in. Both mine did this - but not every night the older they got. I can assure you they won't still be doing it past the age of 8 whatever you do, so don't worry. Max 3 years to go - enjoy it while you can.

As my OH was also there we got a 6 ft bed and on some nights we would wake up to find 2 kids in with us lol.

Spookey80 Fri 23-Nov-12 21:28:20

I think this sounds lovely but just out of interest those of you who have a OH, how do you ever have sex?
Just being nosey really!

HairyGrotter Fri 23-Nov-12 21:29:15

I co-sleep with DD and she's 4. She has been in my bed since birth, has spent some nights in her own bed at her insistence but its her own choice either way. My mum was a bit funny about it at first but now, when she has her overnight at hers, my DD co-sleeps with her!

Enjoy the cuddles, sod everyone else.

DumSpiroSpero Fri 23-Nov-12 21:33:03

Put my DD to bed about an hour ago. DH has his mates round and will be up late playing cards.

She's asked me to wake her up when I go to bed so she can shuffle in with me and is hoping he'll leave her there and kip in her bed! grin

I don't raise my eyebrow at my mum letting my youngest brother (age 7!) sleep in her bed.

I wouldn't do it/put up with it myself.

Overthehillmum Fri 23-Nov-12 21:49:40

My son still came through to my bed in the middle of the night at about 8 years old!, he is 21 now and a big strapping lad, who would probably die if i reminded him of it, but annoying as it was sometimes at the time its nice to look back and think how much he needed me then, now i'm just relieved if he checks into the house at least once during the weekend to say hi....i wish i had appreciated how quickly they grow up instead of listening to my mum telling me that he should be in his room all night.

spottyblanket Fri 23-Nov-12 23:11:03

Im in the secret society too!

Dds 7 & 8 co-sleep all night every night with me and we all absolutely love it. Falling to sleep with my children in my arms is possibly the best feeling i could ever have.

I hereby nominate my sister as society president for still co-sleeping with her dd who is the grand age of 17.

BellaTalbert Sat 24-Nov-12 00:01:49

My DD 10 ends up in my bed practically every night, as I am typing this she no doubt has got in my bed. The only thing I dislike about it is when she hogs the bloody duvet! Enjoy xx

flow4 Sat 24-Nov-12 09:33:09

I love it too, and have only stopped co-sleeping with DS2 because he's 12, and it feels like we should break the habit. Co-sleeping with a child of the opposite sex is fine, but co-sleeping with a teen of the opposite sex feels inappropriate sad

OpheliaPayneAgain Sat 24-Nov-12 09:38:11

Did anyone see early morning telly on Thursday? A primary school on the coast has had to inroduce sleep lessons for parents - children are affected by lack of sleep - one of the biggest causes is sleeping in the parental bed.

At 5, a child should be reasonably self sufficient to sleep alone.

Well our son sleeps like a log in our bed! How can they generalise? I also wonder where they got their facts from.

"I think this sounds lovely but just out of interest those of you who have a OH, how do you ever have sex?
Just being nosey really!"

Sex doesn't have to be in bed!

DowntonTrout Sat 24-Nov-12 10:11:56

DD also sleeps better in my bed. She is more disturbed in her own bed.

She has bad dreams sometimes and also sleepwalks, but never when in bed with me/us. Maybe it's psychological for her.

I'm not going to make it into a problem when there isn't one. I know the time when snuggling up with mummy will come to an end. Until then we just enjoy it.

AmberSocks Sat 24-Nov-12 11:35:22

Spookey-we have co slept solidly for the last 3 years,and on and off for 2 years before that.

We still have sex a lot,just not in bed anymore really.Its more fun i think!

stillsmarting Sat 24-Nov-12 11:55:37

Ophelia I saw that. They were also big on early bedtimes, but if you put your DCs to bed at 7 and they wake at 5 you haven't really gained a lot have you?

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