Religion was IBU

(58 Posts)
altinkum Thu 22-Nov-12 20:51:53

At work today and we (staff) wee discussion what out children wanted.

Staff member say "Sam" said she had gotten her daughter, a telescope as space and stars fascinated her, (her not the daugher) and that us humans didn't really know what was going on, up above.

She went onto say that when Mary road a donkey to Bethlehem what a "pile of crap" the whole bible is, and that donkeys were proven not to exist in that time, FACT FACT even more FACT!!! (didnt matter what anyone said) I said fair enought but as a Roman Catholic I dont believe in your opinion.

She then went on to say that it was a whole pile of crap, and that eveolution it was, I asked her to stop the discussion as I thought she was rude, and disrespectful to my faith. Again she tried to say her opinion, I think I must have repeated that she just continue her work and stop the discussion. (I wven told her to go away numerous times) told her why I didn't want to speak about it further as I though she was beig disrespectful. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, as people are entitled to their opinion, but I just didn't want to hear it, as I would not be changing my mind on my faith and neither would I be changing her mind. (She over a 10 min period tried to explain her opinion and I repeatedly asked her to drop it.

About 5 mins later she came back and said (no idea why this is relevant that her father was christened and that she was at a catholic wedding at the weekend??!!??

Again I told her to drop it and I didn't want to carry in the conversation, at this point she left.

One of my other colleagues asked if I was ok, I said I was, just felt that it was disrespectful, althrough entitled to her opinion, with that collegue came barging in and said "if I had anything to say, say it to her face" I said I was talking about her directly, and was just answering a question that X had asked me.

I felt like a high school kid, but I can't seem to get it out of y mind.

As she went onto to tell further colleagues that we disagreed over a donkey!!! Which wasn't the case at all, thankfully another collegue was their.

Really thinking about putting my notice in, as I don't want to be know as the adult school kid religious freak.

I just didn't want to speak about it, so why the deck did she not get the message.

giveitago Sun 25-Nov-12 14:21:14

you're not your

giveitago Sun 25-Nov-12 14:09:02

anyone having this convo at work rather than with your crew down the pub or whatever is just unprofessional really. Don't give up your job over this.

I'm not religious and find RC very difficult to negotiate (dh rc) but work is for being professional. Like everyone, I have loads of opinions on lots of things but work is for being a bit insipid and just getting on with work and not offending colleagues.

If it happens again I'd have a world with your HR as you should be able to work without feeling your being insulted in your personal life.

ethelb Sun 25-Nov-12 12:52:47

@binky the catholic church argues that man was made in gods image and there is sanctity of human life and just doesn't feel this is incompatible with evolution. No further explanation on this has been offered by the church as it isn't considered necessary or even something that is fully understood.

I guess the best explanation is that God oversaw an evolution that eventually produced humans. It was just a very long way if creating something inhis image. Doesn't mean they aren't in Gods image just because God took a long time over it necessarily.

HecatePropylaea Sun 25-Nov-12 12:52:33

To have someone following you round repeating it when you've been pleading with them to just agree to disagree and just drop it is odder grin

vladimirimp Sun 25-Nov-12 12:48:33

If the situation played out as described above, then it sounds to me that she was trying to deliberately upset you - "what did you get your DD for Christmas", "The Bible is a load of crap" - I just don't see the link?! Unless of course someone else in the conversation had provoked it.

Having said all that, I always struggle to understand why religious people are offended by people saying stuff like this. I mean, you must realise that the vast majority of people think that what you believe is fabricated, regardless of your religion. (To be clear, that Christians must presume that other religions are false, same for Muslims, Jews, Hindus, atheists...every group is in the minority yet thinks it holds the true view). To be offended because people say something when you already know they believe it, is odd.

HecatePropylaea Sun 25-Nov-12 12:47:47

I find that just repeating "I don't care what you think" or the even more direct "I don't care about anything that you think about anything"

and saying nothing else at all - makes them go away. There really is only so long you can talk at someone whose only response is "I don't care what you think" grin

And, I know it's rude. But when someone decides to be breathtakingly ignorant, I say give it to them with both barrels grin

onetiredmummy Sun 25-Nov-12 12:08:51

Oh OP I get the same from a family member & I'm an atheist, have been since my teens.

Ignore them, you know you get fundamental Christians who are OTT about everything loosely concerned with their faith? Well you get the same with atheists and it sounds like your colleague is one of them.

Every time I see this family member I get quizzed about how dreadful it is that schools even mention faith of any kind, I get lectured about how I'm not doing enough to expose the lies of religion (because I'm a gentle atheist & you all can worship whatever you want, which is wrong apparently). I get lectured that anyone who has a faith is an idiot & foolish, & the contempt they show for any believer is very uncomfortable. She won't shut up about it & is aggressive & won't back off. She is horrible, my heart goes out to you at not being able to escape.

HR policies are there for a reason, use them.

Binkybix Sun 25-Nov-12 10:48:49

Thanks Ophelia. I know that 'man' is shorthand for 'mankind' (ie humans).

My question was more about trying to understand how the idea that mankind was created in the form that we are now (ie in God's image) is married with evolution theory (ie mankind evolved from other organisms and was not created as we are now).

As I say, not trying to be antagonistic - just interested.

specialsubject Sun 25-Nov-12 10:22:22

the issue is aggression at work, the subject is irrelevant. So you should indeed have reported her for that, well done.

no beliefs or faiths deserve respect - why should what she thinks matter to you? - but PEOPLE deserve respect and that means not starting an argument in a place where someone can't walk away from it.

I'm an atheist and was immensely pissed off by a visit from the JWs the other day - but as I was at home all I had to do was slam the door. You didn't have that opportunity.

JeezyOrangePips Sun 25-Nov-12 09:57:32

I'll start again!

Op you are NBU to not want to discuss your faith with a colleague. That is your decision absolutely, and swbu to try and force the issue.

But oh wow. I've just had a quick look at the answers from genesis website posted. I looked at one page and it was laughable. It was so chock full of assumptions and falsehoods about what atheism is, I really wouldn't know where to start.

Taking a politicians stance (vote for me because he is worse) in order to justify their religion, and filling the 'he is worse because...' sentance with giant leaps of illogic really doesn't help their cause!

(but as I said, I only read one page - others may be better)

JeezyOrangePips Sun 25-Nov-12 09:47:13

Oh my word. I've just l

hackmum Sun 25-Nov-12 09:35:04

Well, there are lots of good reasons not to believe the Biblical account of the nativity story, but the lack of donkeys 2000 years ago isn't one of them.

confuddledDOTcom Sun 25-Nov-12 02:18:04

I've met more people who try to change my mind about my faith than I have people who preach. Drives me up the wall! I would never try to force my beliefs onto someone else, we have the same rights to believe what we do as each other, yet the way I get treated just because I am a Christian is ridiculous! I prefer to keep my discussion to people who are genuinely interested - either talking for example to my uncle who's a Christian scientist and I find the stuff he knows quite fascinating, or to other Christians about something I've read and found interesting, or to someone who isn't a Christian but isn't talking about something to ridicule. I don't see the point in getting into a discussion that's set up to ridicule me.

I know what you mean about appearing like the religious nut, I hate that feeling too. Hopefully the same situation won't come up again but as you've spoken to your manager already it should be easier to deal with next time. Don't give up your job.

Monty27 Sun 25-Nov-12 01:47:33

Yes, it's surmountable to harrassment really. Discrimination on grounds of sexual, religious, race, etc etc

If I was sober I could quote it.... but sadly I've had too much wine

IAmSoFuckingRock Sun 25-Nov-12 01:43:31

i'm atheist but i would never have done what she did! she was incredibly rude to continure talking when you told her you weren't interested. dont leave your job. she's an idiot. jsut ignore her infuture. if she keeps it up speak to your manager. she doesn't have a right to force her belief on you or anyone else.

Monty27 Sun 25-Nov-12 01:38:42

You seriously took this shit as a serious conversatation?
Oh well.

<RC>

sashh Sun 25-Nov-12 01:13:51

Donkeys did exist but are not mentioned in the New Testament until Jesus rode one into somewhere - I think Jerusalem - long time since I read it.

Just ignore her, it is rare you can discuss beliefs without it becoming an argument.

TiggyD Sat 24-Nov-12 22:58:51

No donkeys 2000 years ago? How fast does she think evolution works?!

Sometimes you have to agree to disagree, particularly over religion. I'm an atheist fundamentalist BTW.

OpheliaPayneAgain Sat 24-Nov-12 22:29:29

man being created in God's image

You are taking it literally - man = mankind, which includes all the human species.

Binkybix Sat 24-Nov-12 22:12:11

Maybenow. Thanks for that. Can I ask, do you know how that belief in evolution is married with man being created in God's image? I'm not trying to be antagonistic - am interested (and quite ignorant about Catholic belief!).

OP - she was being unreasonable. I don't think there's anything wrong with atheists talking about what they believe as part of a normal conversation or discussion, but it sounds as though she was just doing this to annoy/upset you and get in your face. Particularly inappropriate in the work environment.

altinkum Sat 24-Nov-12 19:51:32

The point was I didn't want to argue, she wasn't going to change her opinion and not was I, no matter what she beloved to be factful.

Well I think I'm now known as the religious nutter, or the grass, as I ended up in the boss office upset, not because of her opinion/attuide but her aggressiveness towards me.

I tried to speak to her today but all was ignored, o don't want to fall out with her, but not si I want to discuss my beliefs with her also, to be told its a pile of crap!!!

NeedlesCuties Fri 23-Nov-12 13:13:33

I'm a Christian, and I would have just let it slide.

Arguing with some people is not worth it. Ignorance (on her part) is a bit of a power-trip and she likely wouldn't have listened to common sense.

Don't leave your job.

Maybe go to Answers in Genesis and point her to something that might educate her.

Tanith Fri 23-Nov-12 12:37:18

jeanvaljean the OP was at work trying to do her job! That's no place or time for a theological discussion, even if she wanted one.

She has every right to shut this woman up.

jeanvaljean Fri 23-Nov-12 12:14:54

If someone is spouting off some rubbish I disagree with I either just keep quiet and ignore it or challenge and discuss it with them in a reasonable way. Whether or not she's an idiot is actually irrelevant. I think YABU to try and close her down by saying she is being "disrespectful". I utterly loathe this approach to modern debating and it is completely anti-intellectual. We will never get anywhere in society as long as people keep playing the "I'm offended, please shut up" card. What does it matter if you find it "rude"? What relevance does that have at all? She was not attacking you personally, but an idea that you believe in. You need to have more balls to either stand up for what you believe in, or ignore what she's saying.

And to the person who said approach the Equality and Diversity team - ARGH!!!!!

Sallyingforth Fri 23-Nov-12 10:20:08

Sounds like she's an idiot FACT. People who try to cut off any response that way usually are FACT.
Tell her to keep her stupid opinions to herself FACT.

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