to think if i want to lose more weight it doesn't mean i have an eating disorder?

(94 Posts)
legohouse Thu 22-Nov-12 18:37:55

I have lost 3 stone.

I did this over a year and 2 months so not too quickly imo.

I would now like to lose another 10 lbs but have been told by my son that i am anorexic,i am not,i just need to get some more weight off then i think i will be happy.

legohouse Fri 23-Nov-12 16:59:05

yes,i think i am starting to agree!! i suppose it is a very personal thing and people have many differing opinions about it.

I have however found reading the replies very helpful so thanks again to you all,i heart mumsnet!

LessMissAbs Fri 23-Nov-12 14:54:06

I find it best not to talk about weight loss (other than with other competitive athletes) as some people can find it too emotive and get all worked up about it. Do what makes you feel comfortable, not what other people think you should do. I really found the comments about toning up by doing a sport slightly misinformed, as if that somehow excludes you from watching your weight. Its actually all about power to weight ratio and you don't want to carry any excess weight on top of muscle. So many slim people do in fact keep quite a close eye on their weight, it requires discipline unless you're natually thin, and I think thats what makes it emotive for some people.

legohouse Fri 23-Nov-12 14:19:02

Thank you,i have just logged in and had a read through all the replies.

I have taken on board the advice,i think i do possibly have a slight problem,i love the way i feel now,love the clothes i can wear now etc...i am very afraid of food now as it may take me back to where i used to be,heavy and miserable with a very limited wardrobe.

I have a small number of foods that i eat,i really don't see anything wrong with this...they are healthy and unprocessed,eg eggs,fat free natural yogurt,grapes,satsumas,lean meat and vegetables.

I do go swimming (with my younger children so i don't get a workout as such as watching them)

Walking is my big love and i am known where i live as the walking woman lol!

ethelb Fri 23-Nov-12 09:45:36

I'm 5'2'' and 7stone10lbs would be the lowest healthy weight for me iyswim

"my original goal was to get into a healthy bmi,
i think i need to lose more because i'm not quite there yet"

That, right there, is the problem. You are way into the healthy range now. Your BMI is, on paper, pretty much ideal. But you still want to lose more. It probably wouldn't make you any healthier, but you admit you're motivated by the challenge of changing the numbers.

Please bear in mind that in later years (i.e. your age onwards!), being at the top end of the BMI healthy range is better than being at the bottom, less risk of osteoperosis etc.

Losing weight can give a massive high, but that often leads to a distorted perspective and it's easy to assume there's no problem when in fact, there's the beginnings of one.

Which doesn't mean you have AN, but does mean you should take on board the concerns of those around you and chat with your GP, get yourself checked over, before attempting further weight loss.

Ciske Fri 23-Nov-12 09:32:41

You must have a slight worry somewhere that he might be right, otherwise you wouldn't be posting this. Nobody on this board can judge whether you're anorexic unless they know your personality, your eating habits, and your current health state.

Why don't you go to the GP and ask if it's ok for you to lose more weight, or if he feels that could harm your health? Your current size sounds good to me (and I bet to most people!). Maybe the time has come to focus on getting a lifestyle that will help you maintain your current weight rather than constant dieting. That could be a nice challenge as well. smile

PetFox Fri 23-Nov-12 09:26:46

My brother lost 2 stone when he had salmonella and it was really shocking to me when I first saw him, so that my first reaction was to think he looked ill (he was better by then!) - he'd been quite overweight, and suddenly he had cheekbones and collarbones and defined shoulders. But he was still technically a little overweight and had a belly, so it was just the change in him that was so shocking. I think this is what makes family members overly concerned when a loved one loses weight. Don't listen to them...as long as food isn't becoming your main concern, that is.

I've lost 46lb now. I still have around 3 stone to go, I was very obese.
I'm already being told to stop by family - but I'm still classed as obese. My BMI is 30.5 now.

Incredibly frustrating. I'm far from eating disorder territory!

Sausagedog27 Fri 23-Nov-12 07:55:00

I lost 3stone a few years back- I was really proud of myself for it but for a small while it did become my sole focus and I was obsessive over it. I wouldn't say I had an eating disorder but I did need to take a step back from it.

One of the other things I thought was that being thin would mean I was happy, but in reality when I made it to my target weight, I still thought parts of me were fat and I was unhappy with my shape etc. I took up doing lots of exercise and also accepted the shape I was. Unfortunately you can't choose where you loose the fat from - ie your arms etc, but toning will really help.

Good luck op, but do try and be more objective about this. I found in the end that i came to my natural weight and no amount of exercise/reduction in diet would get me any lower.

MarjorieAntrobus Fri 23-Nov-12 02:39:22

I read this thread rather quickly.

Three things struck me;

1. You did well to lose the weight you did, and you are now at a sensible weight for your height.

2. You take a lot of notice of your mother's comments. Why do you mind that she says you are not slim enough?? What is her agenda here?

3. I think your DS is right to be concerned about you.

Pictureperfect Fri 23-Nov-12 02:24:09

There is a big difference between wanting to loose some more weight when people around you think you have lost enough and having anorexia nervosa. What was your goal weight, as do you keep changing the goal for lower? Anorexia is more than wanting to loose weight and from here we can't tell if you have a healthy relationship for food and other issues

LessMissAbs Thu 22-Nov-12 23:24:27

By the way, I went up to around 8 stone 6 a couple of years ago and looked overly chunky. Since losing weight again, I get much more male attention - not thats what I'd judge anything by.

LessMissAbs Thu 22-Nov-12 23:22:41

teabag: Under 8 stone and she will look scraggy round the neck, she would probably be a size 4. Thats skinny. Slim is the way to go not skinny with bones sticking out, so unattractive

I am the same height as the OP and weigh around 7 stone 10. I don't look skinny (I have quite a round face and have quite powerfully built legs) and am told I am attractive. I do triathlons. To be perfectly honest, if I got down to around 7 stone 6 I'd lose that little bit extra adipose tissue which isn't really necessay and probably get my 10k time down a bit too, and I would love to. Since I look better than most women my age, and am often mistaken for being much younger than I am, I'm not going to worry about how I look, and instead concentrate on how I feel and how my racing performance is going, which are both quantifiable things with merit.

Oh, and I'm a size 8 in some things, a size 10 in others, and occasionally a size 6 on top but thats only due to vanity sizing those clothes are really a size 8-10

Being able to see your ribs is perfectly normal and healthy and rather different from being skeletal. Putting on weight as you get older isn't a necessity, but usually a consequence of the western diet and lack of exercise. People are so used to seeing unhealthy overweight people in this country it warps their sense of what is healthy and what isn't.

MikeOxard Thu 22-Nov-12 23:11:38

I can't believe how many people on this thread are saying things like it wouldn't be healthy to lose 10lb more, it wouldn't look right etc. OP's aim is within the healthy BMI, at the point she feels suits her frame best - so where's the problem? If she said aibu I want to stop losing weight at the top end of a healthy BMI, would you be saying hmmm, not sure, how tall are you, I think that will still look a bit fat, why not try losing 5lbs more? No, didn't think so. /End rant!

Narked Thu 22-Nov-12 22:14:15

Find something you love and do that. For arms, swimming is very good. It also has the added bonus of being good for your heart and bones.

StuntGirl Thu 22-Nov-12 22:07:40

Btw, bloody well done for losing over 3 stone grin

StuntGirl Thu 22-Nov-12 22:06:09

Anyone who tells you things like "You're not slim enough" instead of "Wow! Well done for losing over 3 stone!" does not have your best interests at heart and isn't someone you can rely on for honest support. Even if she's your mum.

PetFox Thu 22-Nov-12 22:02:29

Running, dancing, climbing, swimming, Pilates...they are all fun once you get into them.

PetFox Thu 22-Nov-12 21:59:39

OP I think you need to find some exercise you enjoy so that you can build muscle - which will make you appear slimmer, especially as you age - rather than trying to achieve what you want through restrictive eating alone. That will give you a buzz too, and a much healthier one, physically and mentally.

dontcallmehon Thu 22-Nov-12 21:51:45

I thought everyone got a slight buzz from losing weight. It's not necessarily a sign of disordered eating is it?

Yes, there is a problem with getting a buzz from losing weight.

That 'high' you feel is your brain being starved of vital nutrients. It sounds as if you're too weight focused and not life or health focused.

Getting a high is not good, sorry but I think you should consider seeing a doc as you might have tipped over slightly into disordered eating.

legohouse Thu 22-Nov-12 21:42:18

I admit i do like the buzz i get from losing weight,my mother is very tiny and is always telling me i am not slim enough yet,i still am carrying weight on my upper arms for example...

StuntGirl Thu 22-Nov-12 21:28:21

You've been losing at an average of 3lbs per week which is a little over healthy weight loss targets, you're aiming for the bottom end of the bmi targets and you admit you eat a limited diet. To be honest I think your son is right to be concerned, but I wouldn't go as far as to say you are anorexic. I think you are showing possible anorexic tendencies though iyswim?

musttidyupBeforeSantaComes Thu 22-Nov-12 21:21:56

I'm 5ft 2,8st10 and a 12 - I could definitely do with losing another 10lb if I wanted to actually be slim which I do but not quite as much as I like chocolate and wine.

apostropheuse Thu 22-Nov-12 21:18:50

legohouse you may not actually realise what you look like.

I lost a lot of weight a few years back. I'm talking six/seven stones. My mind hadn't quite caught up with my physical appearance though.

I walked past a shop window one day and saw a reflection. I was looking through a dark glass window one day and thought there was a woman on the other side of the window wearing an identical suit to the one I was wearing. I thought I wish I looked like that in mine. I then suddenly realised that it was my own reflection I was looking at. I was shocked. I still thought of myself as fat, even though I wasn't.

It explained why my friends and family were telling me I'd lost enough weight and that I was beginning to look gaunt.

Incidentally, I was only barely reaching the normal BMI at that point, but my body suited that weight.

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