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to be saddened that DC is wasting academic potential?

(157 Posts)
Smokerings Mon 19-Nov-12 22:16:47

I feel a bit if a cow really but I am really dissappointed in my DC's aspirations.
Just gone 14, academically exceptional. Top of the year in a grammar.
Has decided to aim for a career in graphic design.
I know that being happy and job satisfaction is the most important thing we could hope for our offspring. And I know that graphic design is a highly regarded career, but I'm saddened at the lack of desire to use a brilliant mind.
It will possibly all change over the next few years, but I'm agonizing over this potential waste. And hating myself for being bothered by the lack of ambition.

(namechanging regular as I'm a bit ashamed of my thought process, tbh)
(please please don't think I'm being disrepectful regarding Graphic Design, it's just not as academic as this child could achieve)

Mrsjay Tue 20-Nov-12 17:38:43

Swap the above for Maths and Design.
Is that so hard to comprehend?

ID rather my child was a designer than a mathamatician tbh what can an adult do with maths work in a bank be in Finance a Teacher a Lecturer Trying to think what else, TBH I know you are upset but you seem such a snob about it you cant help how you feel but do try and turn it into a positive your child might not be a great mathamatician but your child could go into graphic design and have a fantastic career,

SoupDragon Tue 20-Nov-12 18:15:44

Could you be more patronising/condescending?

kerala Tue 20-Nov-12 18:18:55

Re glut of lawyers they will get weeded out when it comes to finding a training contract. Basically if you havent got a 2:1 from a good University forget it and even then its a struggle.

Still not a bad degree to do know lots of people that did a law degree but didnt become a lawyer you can go into lots of things planning etc.

cory Tue 20-Nov-12 18:28:40

Going back to the music analogy, unless your child really passionately loved music, would you really want him to be forced to spend hour after hour practising, sacrificing his studies and social life, and then have to spend his working life in a very hard competitive job where everybody except himself was passionate about what they were doing?

My own db did prepare for the career as a violinist, so I have an idea of the work it entails. (He didn't make the grade in the end as he was found to have a slight stiffness in his fingers- not apparent to anybody non-professional, but enough to scupper his career plans.) I think he found it worth it because he really loved what he was doing, but there is no way a sensible person would put themselves through that, however gifted they were, just out of a sense of duty to their talent. Noone is gifted enough to get a musical career without a lot of hard work and sacrifice.

Supposing he was a gifted athlete, would you expect him to put himself through what athletes have to go through if he didn't really care about winning? Just because he had been given that talent?

My ds does seem to have a lot of natural talent for acting: his timing is brilliant and the way he delivers a line (particularly when trying to talk his way out of trouble) is just very, very funny. So yes, if he doesn't do anything about his acting it will be a talent wasted. But there is no way I want him to face such hard work and insecurity unless his heart is in it. If it was, then I'd support him all the way.

Even an ordinary BSc or BA can be very painful if you don't happen to enjoy it. Noone is so gifted that their essays just write themselves.

cory Tue 20-Nov-12 18:33:32

And absolutely agree that you can't do direct matches between school subjects and careers. Being very good at maths at GCSE level doesn't necessarily translate into doing a successful degree or career based on mathematics. Then again, he may well find a way of using his mathematical talent for his career as a graphic designer. Or vice versa.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 20-Nov-12 18:53:37

I fulfilled my academic potential and it did not make me happy. It led me into a career that was totally unsuitable.

What made me happy was knowing myself better and pursuing something that fitted who I am (morally, philosophically), what I enjoy doing and what I am good at.

You say you know it is about happiness but I don't think you really do know that unless you've been deeply unhappy about pursuing a course of action that was wrong for you.

I want my children to be enquiring and passionate. I want them to have space to find something they love, to jump through enough hoops (ie achieve well enough in subjects they don't love, but need) to get them there, but beyond that to find a way to do a job that they love.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 20-Nov-12 18:58:25

But I'm not criticising you. I get where you are coming from.

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