to kind of miss being young and "cool" and a bit of a party girl?

(28 Posts)
MoomieAndFreddie Mon 19-Nov-12 18:26:15

i am 33 tomorrow and i am a bit sad about it.....6 years ago i was the lead singer in a rock band, i was young, pretty and cool. i was out all the time and was not short of male attention....always at the hottest gigs and parties and hanging around with other musicians. i was a single mum to my (then) baby DS, who was even part of it (he would sometimes come to gigs with ear protectors and all my friends loved him and made a big fuss of him). I remember clearly all the fun and drama and craziness cos it all started around this time 6 years ago...

i was part of a, sort of, music "scene" (i guess) that was around in my town at the time. it was pretty shallow but everyone knew who we were and wanted to be in our crowd. we could get backstage passes and free drinks and get in clubs for nothing etc. god we thought we were so cool blush.... in the last few years, everyone has split off from it now and doing their own thing, one or two have "made it" in the music industry but mostly the people from that crowd (like me) have families now, got married, etc.

i wouldn't want to be doing it now but part of me still hankers after it, and feels nostalgic for those days. yet a lot of the time i was quite lonely really, as i said, it was quite a shallow kind of environment and deep down, really i just wanted to settle down and find a nice man and have more dcs. blush which i have now done. (actually I met DH cos he inveigled his way into my my band as a drummer after finding us on myspace and falling in love with me at first sight....blush thats another story....)

but i am mostly just a sensible mum now really, apart from the pole dancing people look shocked and surprised when they hear about my old persona as a rock singer. i was listening to our old songs on myspace (VERY 2007) and it feels like it was a different life. i look at old pictures of myself from the band and don't recognise myself sad DH still does the band thing but i have neither the time or the energy! and quite honestly would feel a bit of a nob being on stage now...

YANBU, I often look back at uni days and wonder what happened to that girl.

MoomieAndFreddie Wed 21-Nov-12 10:23:04

yeah futtheshuckup re going out - thats when it hits me the most too, when i do go out, i just feel completely out of place and like i shouldn't be there...in fact i hardly ever go out now, TBH i would rather snuggle up indoors with DH and the dcs blush the "old me" would cringe at that! grin

and mrscumberbatch yes i feel like that too, kind of an identity crisis.

and higgsboson thats awesome that you are still singing, good for you smile do you do covers or originals? just wondering! as there does seem to be lots of 30+ women singing in covers bands, i am sure i could do that if i wanted but am shy these days and would be nervous about trying out, plus i haven't sung on stage for four years now!

and yeah tescowdirect i wouldn't WANT to be doing what i was doing then, now, in fact it was my birthday yesterday and i remembered waking up on my birthday 5 years ago hungover and in tears as i was on my own and had just been ditched and i just wanted a family around me blush ...and 5 years on i have just that. so i should be grateful for what i have now, i wouldn't swap it for anything.

thanks for the replies, i love mumsnet, its better than any counselling lol grin

Anskabel Wed 21-Nov-12 11:05:02

I'm a 33 year old musician and can relate to a lot of what you're saying. I've led a very hedonistic life since my teens, but this dynamic stepped up a gear in 2007 when I joined a popular successful band. There was free booze at every gig and a lot of male attention, but yes, it was rather shallow and all I really wanted was to go home at the end of the night to someone who loved me for me.

I'm still performing today, but I'm pretty much teetotal - I'm a natural performer and have come to realise I don't need to drink for confidence, plus there's nothing worse for confidence than feeling tired, bloated and out of control!! I look at some of my band mates, who are immensely talented and have toured with internationally known musicians, but the disparity between life on stage and the humdrum of every day existence has turned them into alcoholic insomniacs.

I now have a wonderful man now who is my rock (who met me when I was on a hiatus from bands and is with me for the right reasons) two of my band mates are dealing with splitting with their wives / access rights to children, the fallout caused mainly by juggling the two lives you speak of. I do think is IS possible to have the best of both worlds, but it is hard. I have only managed it because I am passionate about the music above the lifestyle that goes with it.

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