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AIBU to not want to accept christmas presents for my baby when it is not due until Jan?

(49 Posts)
bohoec Sat 17-Nov-12 20:36:18

I am due in January and I have had a lot of people tell me they have bought / plan to buy presents for the baby for Christmas. Am I being unreasonable to think this is a bit odd? Where's the cut off... would I be getting Christmas presents for the baby if I was due in Feb? March?!

It is partly a bit of superstition that I don't think it's right to buy the baby Christmas pressies, but also because I think it's a bit OTT. The same people are planning to buy presents when LO is born as well.

Should I just accept them and be grateful?

And if I do, do I open the gifts on Christmas day, or wait until the baby is born?

Thanks

merlottits Sun 18-Nov-12 15:35:32

My worst Christmas was 15 years ago when I was 20 weeks pregnant with DS1. I was going to be a single parent so was feeling quite fragile. EVERY single bugger bought me presents for the baby...who wasn't born for another 4.5 months angry

I was really sad. People are weird.

AThingInYourLife Sun 18-Nov-12 15:26:51

YANBU

DD2 was a January baby and (thankfully) nobody bought her any Christmas presents.

I would have hated that.

Tamisara Sun 18-Nov-12 15:18:02

Though to be honest if the worst did happen, worrying about superstitions is the last thing on your mind... and it validates that your baby was real, did exist & that you did give birth.

There is also no time really that is safer things can, and do, go wrong during labour too.

That said I would have been furious if anyone else had given me something - presents are for after the baby is born.

LaCiccolina Sun 18-Nov-12 15:13:07

Yanbu. There's still so much what ifs to overcome.

I refused point blank to have new baby stuff in the house til a month before and couldn't bear to unwrap til last sec. I was so scared it might all go back... It happens - Gary Barlow, Lilly Allen, Amanda Holden. U really aren't unreasonable to b worried.

My mum kept presents til we returned home. At which point I was very grateful and happy to have them. It's personal pref here don't b bullied.

Jingleflobba Sun 18-Nov-12 12:21:32

It is a little odd but very nice and baby might make an early appearance? smile
Make sure someone buys you a big bottle of your favourite drink so you can open and enjoy when the baby arrives!

nannyl Sun 18-Nov-12 11:12:22

one of my best friends is due 2 weeks after christmas (2nd baby)

it hasnt even entered my head to buy the baby bump a present.

Most of the time you allready have the basics, bed, bedding some clothes etc we hadn't bought anything for ds4 because ds3 was still a baby. However it did take me quite a while to pack away all the baby things. A few extra Christmas presents wouldnt have made a difference. Actually we had to go out and buy some stuff, teddies, blanket to put in the coffin with him.

I now don't believe in all the tempting fate rubbish, the pushchair for ds5 is sat in the spare bedroom.

RuleBritannia Sun 18-Nov-12 09:54:46

WildWildWorld2008 I so agree that giving presents before a baby is born is tempting fate. We can order a pram before the birth but not pay for it or collect it until after the birth. What is a mother going to feel like coming home from hospital distressed and without a baby if she sees all the baby accoutrements?

SenoritaViva Sun 18-Nov-12 09:49:28

I live in - that's not weird though. That's practical and helpful and the kind of thing you need before the baby arrives. I was assuming she meant separate toys etc.

SenoritaViva Sun 18-Nov-12 09:47:34

It is weird. Our dc2 was due new years eve and no one I knew offered this. The only thing I (grudgingly) had to do was to buy a few sticking presents otherwise older dc (age4) would've wondered why father Christmas didn't care about the new baby. But frankly that was a pain!

Startail Sun 18-Nov-12 09:08:31

I'm a bit on the fence.
Practical things, yes.
Clothes, bar a very few and toys no!

Let the baby be born safe and well first.

ILiveInAPineapple Sun 18-Nov-12 09:02:11

My DB and DSiL are due their baby at the end of march. We asked them if they would like us to buy them something for them, or a baby thing for Christmas, and we offered to get them a baby monitor (a posh expensive video one, I'm not a cheapskate!) if they wanted us to.
They did, so we have bought it and that's what they will get for Christmas.
I would not have bought it for their Christmas without asking them though, and bump will not be having presents from us until he is born.
So YANBU but I think you just have to graciously accept and appreciate the fact that people just want to spoil you/ bump.

My mum and nana did this with ds3, they will probably do it again this year as I'm due feb.

I don't have a problem it's just a nice gesture

pigletmania Sun 18-Nov-12 08:54:17

YANBU how odd, ds was born in January last year and had no such things. My close friend did knit him a whole layette that she gave to me before he was born to am to the hospital

Bilbobagginstummy Sun 18-Nov-12 08:52:04

Yanbu. I never buy anything for babies that haven't yet arrived safely.
Not superstition: stillbirths and other things happen.

I hope everything goes absolutely fine for you as it has for my friends and family - except once - but Yanbu at all.

WildWorld2004 Sun 18-Nov-12 08:45:49

My sis is due around xmas but i wont be buying her any baby gifts for xmas.
Why would you buy gifts for a baby that isnt born yet. Something might happen in labour. To me it is tempting fate.

MsFlippingHeck Sun 18-Nov-12 00:14:30

I don't often say this but YABU.

Just enjoy whatever you're given. I was 34 weeks pg last Christmas and Sil & Mil bought a few toys and outfits for me to open for the baby. It was lovely and felt like he was included in the family already. Once you've got a newborn you don't have the time or energy to enjoy cooing over little clothes you're too busy.

thegreylady Sun 18-Nov-12 00:04:05

My neice is due in early March and has let me buy a couple of cute bits for the baby. They are not Christmas presents though.
She is staying here for the weekend and said she didn't realise that the milk in a baby's bottle wasn't ordinary full fat milk ! I bought her a pregnancy book, a baby care book and two little baby things.
They had been approved to adopt a two yr old then she became pregnant naturally. She is 35 and can't quite believe in the baby!

edwinbear Sat 17-Nov-12 23:43:32

No, YADDDNBU. Totally normal to want people to wait until your baby is safely here before they start buying (very welcome) presents.

noblegiraffe Sat 17-Nov-12 22:46:04

How strange. My baby is also due in Jan and it doesn't appear to have crossed anybody's mind to get a present before she's born.

Besides, there'll be some great bargains in the January sales, buying now would be silly.

I find it VERY odd that people would buy a gift for a baby that hasnt been born yet, but as long as it's addressed to the baby and not instead of YOUR present then I'd just go ahead and enjoy it. Completely different if they've bought baby stuff for your present. confused I had a January baby and nobody did this, and I'd never consider doing it for anyone else. YANBU in my opinion anyway, even if you are, you are not alone! grin

bumperella Sat 17-Nov-12 22:35:24

Not odd - people are excited for you and baby stuff is SO cute and easy to buy... so much more fun to buy cute baby stuff than to shop for adults who already have their own taste!
I can understand the superstition aspect. Butif it really bothers you then just ask people who say they're buying a Christmas gift for bump "please could you hang onto the gift until a safe arrival"

AmandaCooper Sat 17-Nov-12 22:34:37

We were recently commenting that we hoped everyone would give us the stuff we know they've bought for our baby as Christmas presents - as we were wondering how else we would know what we've got!

I've had two early Jan babies and no one has ever bought a pre-birth Christmas present. I'd never have thought of it.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Sat 17-Nov-12 22:30:27

yanbu. some people (me) frankly can't even bear to buy anything more than a couple of babygros until i've held the baby in my arms.

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