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AIBU?

For asking bf to get tested for HIV?

95 replies

ekojem · 17/11/2012 14:38

Split up with my bf 5 years ago and we got back together two months ago (through fb).

Since we split up he has gone travelling every winter to Thailand and Cambodia. I've seen photos on his fb with plenty of local girls there draped over him, one even feeding him grapes! I've read you can pay these women to stay with you for weeks or even marry you if you give them money.

Also, he told me when he goes there (he usually stays 2 or 3 months) he smokes crystal meth. I read up about it as I was worried about him smoking that stuff and it said it makes you very horny that you will shag anything as you are out of your mind on drugs.

AIBU to ask him to have an HIV test before we sleep together again? We haven't had sex yet because he won't wear a condom. He keeps refusing to go for STI checks. I can't help thinking he is hiding something? He has also refused to tell me about the girls in the photos.

He is going back there in December for two months (he booked it ages ago), should I trust him to stay faithful?

Thanks Jem

OP posts:
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WorraLiberty · 17/11/2012 14:40

Seriously?

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onetiredmummy · 17/11/2012 14:41

Yes to test

No to trust

Clearly

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scentednappyhag · 17/11/2012 14:42

... No. Just... No.

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FannyFifer · 17/11/2012 14:42

RUN, RUN for the hills & keep running!

WTF are you thinking, seriously get a grip and ditch this fucking waste if space.

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ErikNorseman · 17/11/2012 14:43

Omg where to start
He goes on holidays to Thailand and has sex with prostitutes
He smokes crystal meth
He refuses to use a condom or get an Sti test
What on earth are you doing with this 'prize'?
If you insist on sleeping with him then be wise and use a condom. I'm 99% sure he won't be faithful on his little 'trips' and even if he was, his attitude stinks. My real advice though is bin the twat.

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thumper1806 · 17/11/2012 14:43

YANBU to be concerned re the risk of STI, with any partner who refuses to wear a condom, regardless of anything else.

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FermezLaBouche · 17/11/2012 14:44

I'm going to hazard a guess and suggest you can do better than this individual.

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NoraGainesborough · 17/11/2012 14:45

Forget the possible sti's or return visit


Do you want to be with a druggie who uses prostitutes? Please don't convince yourself that these women are anything but poor desperate women who are (more than likely) forced into prostituting themselves.

Really, you want to be with him?

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B1ueberryS0rbet · 17/11/2012 14:45

eeeeooooow.

What thumper says. and what fermezlabouche says.

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honeytea · 17/11/2012 14:48

Are you sure he uses prostitues? Could he just have sex with local girls who are wanting to have sex with him?

As for the STI tests absolutely you both should have them done before you have unprotected sex.

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Tweasels · 17/11/2012 14:48
Hmm
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GobblersSparklyExplodingKnob · 17/11/2012 14:49

Bahahahahaha

Please don't do it.

Run for the hills and find your self a man who is not a total fucking cock more worthy of you.

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CouthyMowEatingBraiiiiinz · 17/11/2012 14:50

Why the FUCK would you want to get involved with someone who smokes crystal meth and 'shags anything'??!!

Do you need your head read or something? This doesn't so much set out red flags as a fucking nuclear war siren.

Are you that desperate to be with a man that you can't walk away from this? Do you have low self esteem?

He hasn't even cancelled his upcoming shagathon in Thailand despite apparently being your 'boyfriend'. WTactualF?!

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Signet2012 · 17/11/2012 14:50

With a bit of luck his dick will turn green and fall off saving you or anybody else the risk of his irresponsible behaviour.

Must say, sounds like right catch (!)

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dashoflime · 17/11/2012 14:51

YANBU to insist on a STI test. I have been asked to do this on the past and haven't minded AT ALL.
However, If he is shagging around as much as you suspect he is, you need a condom as well.
Also: he sounds like a twat.

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ENormaSnob · 17/11/2012 14:52

Yuck.

Get some self respect.

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Juustanothermnetter · 17/11/2012 14:53

That's disgusting, sorry but crystal meth, payIng (presumably) for sex, no std check, no condoms (I presume the same applies with all the other women). Run FAST!

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GhostShip · 17/11/2012 14:54

Do you know what crystal meth is?! What the actual fuck. It's a scummy drug. You'll think so when his teeth start falling out.

And why on earth would you want to be with him if you think he's shaggin elsewhere?

Get some self esteem OP and fuck him off. He obviously has no respect for you

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stargirl1701 · 17/11/2012 14:55

YABU. The question should AIBU to avoid this bloke for the rest of my life?!!!

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honeytea · 17/11/2012 14:55

Do remember that even if he has an HIV test after his trip away it wont mean he is clear from HIV I think you need 6 months to a year to have a 99% clear result, the virus can not show up in big enough levels to show up before then. So even if he does have a test make sure you still use condoms for a year and then retest.

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WorraLiberty · 17/11/2012 14:56

He sounds like a wonderful, wholesome man.

Just the type you'd want to show off to your parents and friends...

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Whocansay · 17/11/2012 14:58

Run like fuck.

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DumSpiroSpero · 17/11/2012 14:59

YANBU to insist he gets tested.

I'm not entirely sure you're being reasonable in wanting to be with this bloke though tbh.

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GilbGeekette · 17/11/2012 14:59

My first ever Biscuit mejoke ekojem

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BIWI · 17/11/2012 14:59

An interesting first post Hmm.

What on earth do you see in him, if you know he behaves like this? Are you so desperate for a man that you would choose to get back with him? There are plenty of decent men out there who you should choose.

Get rid of him.

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