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to be stressed and shocked at being possibly pregnant?

(435 Posts)
bellabreeze Fri 16-Nov-12 17:58:47

I feel like I might be pregnant. I have 8 DCs (yes, eight!!!) I do keep a positive attitude and cope very well but I am kind of thinking 'oh my god 9 kids!!?' I feel overwhelmed!!! Its not that I would hate to have another child but I feel so shocked and strange about having 9 kids! Its only 1 more but it is so close to 10...

This post doesn't really make much sense I am just overwhelmed

Bogeyface Sat 17-Nov-12 00:40:00

I knew you would ask about money!

We used to have an above average income, not massively above, but a little bit. We were doing fine, could pay the bills, could have the odd treat, couldnt go on holiday but then you cant with more than 2 kids as no one will have you!

Then it dropped by almost half due to the recession and H having to find whatever work he could (think NMW sad ). I couldnt get a job as I was 6 months pg at the time, and now we do get some tax credits and child benefit. When we got pg with #6, things were perfect and there was no reason to think that that wouldnt continue. Since then I have started my business so things are (hopefully) on the up.

In the good old days our plan was to buy a bigger house, but we are happy to stay where we are and make do. In fact we are both glad we couldnt find the perfect house when things were good as we would now be in negative equity, probably unable to pay the mortgage.

As I said, when you need to, you cope, you really do smile

rhondajean Sat 17-Nov-12 00:44:14

We have been hit by the recession too,,DHs situation similar to yours. It's food bills get me. W do not eat extravagantly - we do eat from fresh, and high protein a lot as DH and I work out a lot but not to an excess and Im always prowling supermarkets for reduced stock.

Last month we were £800.

We don't drink much, and we don't throw much wasted food out. I honestly don't know how you do upping that by double the people!

Bogeyface Sat 17-Nov-12 00:44:30

RE: washing.

I wont deny that that is an issue! One trick is that they only own one set of school uniform each. That means that it has to be washed nightly which means I can bulk out the load and it also means that I dont have piles of washing all over the house.

You also really do think about whether they need that top or those trousers, when you know that it will just add to the pile.

As I said though, you adapt. You would struggle to go from 2 to 6 or 8. But 2 to 3 is fine. And so is 3 to 4....you see what I am saying?

rhondajean Sat 17-Nov-12 00:45:50

An aside - DH and I are both only children, we were intent one would not work, no aunts/uncles/cousins. I am sure your kids are fab! Perhaps we just don't know HOW to live in a large household though?

I always thought I would, have visions of maybe 6 grin

rhondajean Sat 17-Nov-12 00:46:35

I totally see what you are saying! And I think 8 to 9 is totally manageable.

Bogeyface Sat 17-Nov-12 00:47:45

WOW! £800?!

I do a weekly at Aldi for £60 and then top up about £25 ish for milk and bread etc. My maximum budget is £120 and never ever spend that!

Where do you get most of your protein from? do you use a slow cooker and cheaper meat such as brisket, neck, etc? Do you use mysupermarket to compare prices?

I feel like Miss MoneyPenny on Superscrimpers grin

Bogeyface Sat 17-Nov-12 00:48:54

Shit, I didnt realise how stingy I am until now grin

bellabreeze Sat 17-Nov-12 00:50:34

I mostly make food from scratch, lots of big one pot meals like pasta with lentils, sauce and some veg for example
I keep big bags of dried chickpeas and lentils because it works out cheap, they are healthy and they bulk out meal

I have had some baby stuff since my first DC which saves A LOT of money, use reusable nappies (not all the time, can't be bothered sometimes) I also get all the free samples I can get, I put my info in the autofill settings on my internet so I can fill the forms in quick and wait for free stuff to come through the post, it helps a bit

There are all sorts of ways to scrimp and save money, its became kind of a hobby to me (bit sad maybe but its handy!)

BridgetBidet Sat 17-Nov-12 00:54:00

If you need any big stuff for your baby have you tried looking on your local Freecycle site?

Not for things like sheets and stuff obnovs but you can get a lot of baby stuff for free on those sites. Like, baby swings, sterilisers, stuff like that.

rhondajean Sat 17-Nov-12 00:54:43

I know! I swear I am not extravagant. This week for example, browsed tesco, I got two packs of chicken thighs and drumsticks for 50p each which I've roasted for tomorrow.

I don't use a slow cooker but I do have a big cast iron casserole and slow cook in it a lot.

I'm sure I could cut on some things - DH for example will only eat Heinz beans - but I couldn't cut it that much I don't think!

I rotate supermarkets too to get the offers at them all mostly grin

We could get an allotment?

rhondajean Sat 17-Nov-12 00:55:31

Bells you will be fine either way. I am totally confident in that!

bellabreeze Sat 17-Nov-12 01:02:24

Rhonda have you thought about just growing veg in pots if you've got the space? Much less work than a vegetable patch and they can't be eaten by birds or rabbits, when I found out I could grow veg in pots I grew some potatos, purple sprouting brocolli, carrots and I've grew salad vegetables and all sorts

its great and saves a lot of cash especially if you grow potatoes because potatoes and vegetables can make up the majority of a meal

Bogeyface Sat 17-Nov-12 01:02:43

bella it isnt a hobby with me, its an obsession! Of course the problem is that I now cant shave a penny off our food budget if I need to! Are you at the "boil chicken carcasses for soup" stage yet? And deliberately cooking more than you need for one meal so you can use it for the next without spending more money on gas and electric? I got it baaaad! You will cope, you know you will smile Do you have someone you can ask for help with the children for the birth and the first few weeks? If you dont then Homestart can help.

Dont bother with the allotment, we tried that. We spent more in seeds and what have you than we ever saved.

Where are you? If you are in London then I am sure that counts for a fair bit of your budget. Try Lidl or Aldi. Honestly, it aint that bad and it saves a fortune. What is your weekly menu.

I'll post mine if you post yours wink

Bogeyface Sat 17-Nov-12 01:03:40

Pots would be good, but an allotment is very time and labour intensive, it really is more of a hobby.

WorraLiberty Sat 17-Nov-12 01:03:42

I'm the youngest of 5 in our family and as much as I love them all, when I was growing up I envied kids with just one or two siblings.

Everything was 'make do and mend' and you can imagine the colour of the hand-me-down clothes by the time they got to me.

We were lucky in the sense that we were always fed, clothed and loved but I was so envious of kids with brand new uniforms, bedrooms of their own etc...

Then again, my elder siblings were envious of their friends who didn't have to help get their younger siblings ready for school in the mornings.

But all in all we had a happy childhood, although the 2 oldest couldn't wait to leave home for some peace and quiet and not to have to constantly help to look after the younger 3.

I don't think the amount of kids matters as much as long as the parents don't 'put upon' the older ones to help out all the time.

Some of the time yes, but on a daily basis isn't fair imo.

Bogeyface Sat 17-Nov-12 01:04:43

Sorry the "menu/allotment" bit was for Rhonda

Bogeyface Sat 17-Nov-12 01:06:08

Worra, I totally agree which is why I pay mine if they babysit. I chose to have 6 children, they didnt.

My grandmothers early life is a thread in itself, but suffice it to say that my great grandmothers example was one I chose NOT to follow.

bellabreeze Sat 17-Nov-12 01:06:31

Also, it means you can grow them in any little bit of space as long as its outdoors

And thanks very much, I'm starting to feel a bit better about the whole thing, its just a weird situation for me at the moment

rhondajean Sat 17-Nov-12 01:07:53

I don't mind posting a week - its just a bit late right now if that's ok?

I might try pots, I'll score allot ment off my possible list.

I'll post tomorrow?

Bogeyface Sat 17-Nov-12 01:09:06

It must be so difficult for you Bella but we are here, always awake, always listening smile

Whereabouts are you? I am in the Midlands and would be happy to meet another "big momma" for a coffee.

rhondajean Sat 17-Nov-12 01:09:28

Bells - you are obviously fab at this. One more, at this point, is so so doable!

Bogeyface Sat 17-Nov-12 01:09:45

Am off to my bed too Rhonda! Meet ya back here with a menu tomorrow!

bellabreeze Sat 17-Nov-12 01:10:09

Bogeyface I am at/past that stage, trust me!

rhondajean Sat 17-Nov-12 01:10:22

It's a date bogey - sleep well grin

bellabreeze Sat 17-Nov-12 01:11:28

(Past the stage of boiling chicken carcasses)

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