To comment on amount of sweets another mum gave her dc?

(200 Posts)
Everlong Fri 16-Nov-12 11:30:48

Ds goes to an after school activity and has made friends with
a little girl. I sit with her mum and we get on, have a chat etc. She also takes her younger dd who's 4 with her.

I bring a snack for ds as he's always hungry. Something like a flapjack, small bag of maltesers, single twix. I bring enough for his little friend and her sister.

So they had their snack and went off doing their thing. The mum gets a bag of freddo's out and her dd has two of them, she then gives her a bottle of coke that she sits slurping. Ok no big deal. She then gives her a big bag off fizzy cola bottles. The little girl is screaming and being loud, like she normally is.

So after ds and her dd finish she then gets out 3 mars bars and gives them out to her dd's and my ds.

I was shock and told ds to wait for after his dinner.

She let her dds have the mars bars.

I said that's a lot of sweets in one go. Not in a smugo way, sort of joking but meant it

Was I out of order confused

cornycatona Fri 16-Nov-12 12:27:21

grin

Worra, me too. Sometimes they're hyper, sometimes not. It never seems to relate to sweet intake. Or maybe I'm just not very observant.

"I have rotten adult teeth because noone told my mum about keeping count of my milk teeth."

err what? Please tell me more. Why does counting them make a difference? I have no idea how many teeth my DCs have but am assuming it's the normal number. When they fall out I assume I'll know but won't be keeping a tally. Please explain!

WileyRoadRunner Fri 16-Nov-12 12:29:28

Oh Everlong!

Great thread grin

<whispers YANBU whilst cracking open my yard of Jaffa cakes box mmmm >

cheekydevil Fri 16-Nov-12 12:29:35

That is the one I am referring to caramel ^

bigkidsdidit Fri 16-Nov-12 12:29:40

No worra, you're right, the 'sugar rush' is a myth.

it is an awful lot of sweets and I would have said something (gently) too.

Soup Dragon, one is fairly instantly redeemable, the other isn't. hey aren't comparable. "Your skirt is tucked in your knickers" is also an observation, butI'd be happy if someone told me that. "You're really ugly" would offend grin

Everlong Fri 16-Nov-12 12:33:01

I've been eating a family pack of mintrels whilst on this thread shock

I have done an aerobics and bodytone class this morning though wink

cheeseandpineapple Fri 16-Nov-12 12:35:10

Promised myself I wouldn't have any more but Wiley, your post has tipped me over the edge and I've just scoffed two more Jaffys...

GoldenGreen Fri 16-Nov-12 12:35:42

The sugar rush thing does seem to be a myth but the risks of tooth decay and long term risks of diabetes I would think are quite real - maybe she really isn't aware?

Honestly? I wouldn't have said anything but I would take healthier snacks next time, like bananas, satsumas, breadsticks. Maybe to demonstrate that children do genuinely like those things, too, and it doesn't have to be chocolate all the time.

SoupDragon Fri 16-Nov-12 12:36:03

Of course they are comparable - both are observations.

My point was that some things that are "just observations" you simply don't say. "Your skirt is tucked into your knickers" is not just an observation, it is helpful.

Ans if you'd be offended should someone observe "You're really fat? perhaps you should take heed of the observation "That's a lot of sweets" wink grin

<<hides empty Frazzles bags>>

Cahoots Fri 16-Nov-12 12:37:28

I have always let my DCs have a treat a day. I love sweet things myself and they all seem to be the same. Now that they are older teens they still continue with the 'one treat a day' rule. It is good to make them responsible for making their own desicions about things like this as young as possible.

Freddos, coke, a mars bar plus other sweets is a MASSIVE amount of sweets for anyone let alone a little child.

Everlong Fri 16-Nov-12 12:38:37

Yes next week I'll take a huge bag of apples.

But tbh I've taken healthyish stuff in sometimes and it doesn't make a jot.

Not sure I get your post - I agree. I have recently lost a lot of weight, and one of the things that sticks in my mind was one of DH's friends turning up when we were eating and saying "bloody hell that's a big plate of pasta". Just helped me to realise that actually what I thought was normal wasn't in fact.

cheekydevil Fri 16-Nov-12 12:40:11

Well said cahoots

cheekydevil Fri 16-Nov-12 12:40:59

My point exactly shriiieeek

Everlong Fri 16-Nov-12 12:46:04

Ok my comment aside surely it's a worry for those children if they grow up eating that amount of junk.

Or do people just not care if it doesn't effect them?

Is the right thing to sit back and say nothing even if you might offend someone?

Mintberry Fri 16-Nov-12 12:47:49

I get where people are coming from with the "her kids, her choice", but to play devils advocate here, it wasn't as if to say "you're far too liberal/strict in the way you raise your kids, you should be more like me" or "you've dressed your child in a particularly odd way, today", OP was concerned that the woman was negatively impacting on her daughter's health and behaviour.
Many people are so opinionated about those who smoke around their young kids, surely judging someone for overfeeding them with crap is the same principal?

Everlong Fri 16-Nov-12 12:48:31

That last sentence didn't make sense.

Should you say nothing even if you knows it's harming a child. Because you might be scared or you cba?

mamij Fri 16-Nov-12 12:49:52

It is a lot of sweets. But I think j read correctly when you said you gave your DS flapjacks, malteasers and twix (none of which are really low in sugar!). A little bit of pot calling kettle...?

DontHaveAtv Fri 16-Nov-12 12:51:23

It is a lot of sweets, but I wouldn't have said anything. Or if I did I would just tell her in a less jokey way if you are concerned.

Everlong Fri 16-Nov-12 12:54:02

I disagree mam the activity is fir an hour and is full on they need a bit of sugar before they start and don't forget this is straight after a full day at school.

Nothing like eating freddo's, fizzy cola sweets, mars bars and drinking coke. Is it?

messtins Fri 16-Nov-12 12:54:31

I'd take fruit or a healthy snack for the three of them and decide what your rules are for your DS accepting any offered unhealthy snacks from them - for example he can have one biscuit or whatever then has to say no thankyou. It's not your business what she feeds her DDs but if you are setting a good example then she may take the hint.
Did she ask you before offering him chocolate? It would certainly be expected amongst my friends that you ask the parent before offering the child any snacks.

Snazzyfeelingfestive Fri 16-Nov-12 12:56:10

I don't have the 'you must never judge' mentality, but it is usually the case that comments about this stuff have to be carefully done to avoid just looking like a know-it-all. I personally don't mind looking like a know-it all grin but people tend not to listen to you if that's how you come across. If you can relate it to you and at least imply that you can empathise, it can help - so 'I had to stop giving X loads of chocolate because I found he just got really wired afterwards and screamed all afternoon - do you ever get that with Y?'

Snazzyfeelingfestive Fri 16-Nov-12 12:57:07

And, I don't understand why you would give under 5s Coke. I will happily sit in judgement all day on this. It's just a bad idea. Plenty of alternatives.

Everlong Fri 16-Nov-12 12:58:05

No she didn't ask if it was ok. That's when the ' blimey that's a lot ' came out!

Couldn't believe my eyes.

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