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AIBU?

to wonder why i don't crap my pants every time i blow bubbles?

32 replies

myhandslooksoold · 15/11/2012 20:57

My first aibu...so here goes...
Gah i am so fed up with frivolous advice regarding my dd's chronic constipation, if one more person suggests getting my dd to blow bubbles when she is on the potty I will reply "I wondered way I always shift myself when I blow bubbles". She's more interested in dunking the bubble wand and holding the bottle and spilling the mixture.
I've heard and done it all, freshly squeezed juice, apricots, porridge, every f-ing thing. She's on movicol and lactose and I still spent 5 hours with her today with her crying saying her tummy hurt, to no avail.
She's been like this so long it is really stopping us doing fun things. I didn't take her out this afternoon because it really seemed the poo was on its way any minute and then hour after hour went by. She can't settle to anything because she's so uncomfortable and hops from foot to foot in the effort to keep it in.
She had her 2 1/2 year review with the hv the other day and all she could offer was a fact sheet

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myhandslooksoold · 15/11/2012 21:00

Agh, stupid tablet computer made me post before I was finished...
I know this is a really common problem, why isn't there better and more comprehensive advice? My gp was beyond rubbish, when I asked him whether I should cut out foods like bananas he said he couldn't see why I should because they would add bulk to her stools.

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myhandslooksoold · 15/11/2012 21:01

**shit not shift!

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lubeybooby · 15/11/2012 21:05

My DD had really bad consitpation when little

We were advised by a consultant to give as much lactulose as it would take to make her stools actually loose, not really runny but very, very soft, and to keep it up for a minimum of six months to allow her rectum to get back to a normal shape so it wouldn't keep filling up with poo.

That did work really well.

When it recurred a year or so later, i used a glycerin suppository once and that sorted it.

Good luck

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fuzzypicklehead · 15/11/2012 21:12

Bless you, I know it sucks. My DD1 used to hold her poo and then become constipated, and it was a nightmare for everybody. It was mainly talking to one or two other parents who had been in similar situations that helped me. (one poor girl had been hospitalized and eventually needed play therapy to work it out.)

The "pooland" printout was a bit helpful for her, in that is helped her to understand what was going on and why she was feeling poorly. Good luck. Eventually this too will pass...

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CaptainSolo · 15/11/2012 21:20

I've never heard the blowing bubbles thing. i can't see how it would make a blind bit of difference. What i have heard is getting them to blow up a balloon. If you 'assume the position' as it were on the toilet and try blowing up a balloon you can feel those muscles in the nether regions loosing.

Having said all that had the same problem with my youngest son and it didn't work mainly as he had no interest in blowing up the balloon.

Eventually what finally swung it for us when he was five Blush was his best friend inviting him for a sleep over. He was soooooooooooo excited but I said I couldn't say yes until I was happy he was using the toilet like a big boy. It seemed to be the incentive we needed (sticker charts and the like never worked) for the problem to be sorted (however he never poos in any toilet except ours at home which does cause problems on holiday............ he's now 8!)

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HiggsBoson · 15/11/2012 21:22

We also had a nightmare with this and yes, it is infuriating when people suggest offering chocolate buttons as bribes or sticker charts - as though you haven't already tried that and a zillion other things!!

The blowing bubbles thing is particularly patronising and doesn't work.

Can you find out if you have a continence clinic in your area? I was fortunate in that my HV referred DD to our local clinic where we've been seeing a continence nurse for 6 months. She put DD on good old fashioned Senokot and although it's taken a long time with a few tears on the way, DD is now past her horrible fear of pooing!

Definitely worth asking I reckon.

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PickledFanjoCat · 15/11/2012 21:23

Best thread title I've seen in a long time!

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GrimAndHumourless · 15/11/2012 21:32

Yes to continence clinic, horrid name but hey ho

Anecdotally avoid bananas and weetabix, they can really dry out in transit, producing hard difficult to pass poos

Up fluid intake, water is best

How many movicol sachets is she on at the mo?

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TeWiDoesTheHulaInHawaii · 15/11/2012 21:33

I feel the same. DD is 3.8, no one cares or has any helpful advice outside of lactulose and stickers.

I will actually stab the next person who says she 'just isn't ready' for potty training. Why is it only Poo that's a problem then you idiot?!

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myhandslooksoold · 15/11/2012 21:34

Thank you all, I needed to vent. I'll definitely ask about a continence clinic when I see the GP again next week.
Feel cheered by your lovely responses (maybe aibu not so scary after all phew)

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myhandslooksoold · 15/11/2012 21:36

Good to know we are not alone

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TeWiDoesTheHulaInHawaii · 15/11/2012 21:38

It has cheered me up a bit too! Think I will go and ask about continent clinic too (and bin the weetabix).

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rempy · 15/11/2012 21:40

I second the "pour in the lactulose till it's soft, then keep doing it" advice - the cycle needs breaking, then the whole bowel needs "retraining". People tend to give the softeners/laxatives just until they see a single softie, then stop. It takes as long to retrain as the child's been constipated for. Plough on!

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GrimAndHumourless · 15/11/2012 21:42

It's kinda counter-intuitive innit, yknow, weetabix and nana, why, they're GOOD for you

I will be on laptop later, will come back to this if you like

Not a professional, or an expert, apart from on my child lol

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myhandslooksoold · 15/11/2012 21:48

Grim I think the real experts in this are the parents who've sat for hours with a distressed child doing all the tricks in the book to produce the all elusive bm! The health professionals advice all seems so superficial so far. You have to fight to get good advice. So yes, any further advice gratefully received

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GrimAndHumourless · 15/11/2012 22:31

ok, on laptop now

yes to distended bowel taking as long to recover as it took to get so bad, this is a long-haul type of journey

movicol, how many per day? we had to go up to I think 8 or maybe 12? can't quite recall, to get a clear out (poonami) then gradual reducing of the doseage to stop re-backing-up, over many many months

we still avoid - pasta, pizza, white bread, these all tend to bung up my kid if I'm not on the ball with extra water/fruit to counteract

night mare, and no one fookin talks about it

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GrimAndHumourless · 15/11/2012 22:33

god yes, the HOURS with the sore tummy, and the bobbing on and off the loo, and the days out cancelled, and the grumpyness, and loss of appetite and the downward spiral

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myhandslooksoold · 15/11/2012 22:41

She's on just one movicol a day and 1 large spoonful of lactose. She's only wee, she's 2.4. Her bowels have never been hard or dry, she's always had fairly sloppy stools. She's just pooed in her nappy in bed this evening in the last 1/2 hour. It was a massive explosion type and foul. I'm reluctant to increase her medication as the consistency has never been bad, I just want her to try and push it out more herself, she seems incapable of pushing it out and engaging the right muscles.

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myhandslooksoold · 15/11/2012 22:42

I reckon we had the poonami this evening

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GrimAndHumourless · 15/11/2012 22:51

the thing to watch for - again it's counter-intuitive - is that constipation can present as diarrhoea or sloppy poos, as the fresh poo flows around the lump sitting there. One thinks that oh, our kid's had a clear out but no, not necessarily so.

Totally I would say to you to get referred to the continence clinic, partic as you mention she almost doesn't know HOW to push out a poo.


in hte meantime have a dig round eric, this website is fantastic

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neverputasockinatoaster · 15/11/2012 23:25

OP you have all my sympathy - DD had chronic constipation from a very early age. It was hell.

We tried lactulose but the only thing that worked for us was movicol. We had to go up to about 8 sachets before anything happened!

DD didn't seem to know 'how' to poo either but she seems to be getting it now - she's 5.

It is so soul destroying to have people give you advice like the bubble blowing......

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BlissfullyIgnorant · 15/11/2012 23:35

Crap pants? I almost just pissed myself! What kind of stupid advice is that?

DS used to get v constipated. A combo of prune juice and exercise (lay him on his back and pedal his legs) with an occasional gentle abdo massage* helped but wasn't necessarily instantaneous. Sometimes a tiny bit of syrup of fig worked (2.5ml in a syringe) but it always involved tummy ache and runny tummy. Works better than Dyno Rod though.

*warm mild massage oil, like almond oil, rubbed gently into skin of the abdomen in a clockwise direction. DO NOT PRESS. If they fart, it's working, so watch where you stand.

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HELPMyPooIsStuck · 15/11/2012 23:52

Oh after the hell I went through last month I sympathise.....I now sprinkle linseed over my breakfast cereal to prevent future backlogs.

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HipHopOpotomus · 15/11/2012 23:56

Giving dd a chewable probiotic from this age helped get and keep her regular. You can buy kids ones.

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FreddieMercurysBolero · 15/11/2012 23:59

Blowing bubbles does not fucking work.

Bribery, lactulose and toy confiscation did though.

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