To wish MIL had one single solitary social skill she could apply to my dc?

(31 Posts)
LiegeAndLief Thu 15-Nov-12 19:47:45

Rant alert.

MIL is not a horrible person. Deep down I'm sure she means well. But she drives me up the fucking wall in all sorts of ways and is completely lacking in any sort of normal interaction with other human beings (to prove this, she has fallen out with practically all her family and most of her ex friends).

I am now used to the fact that she doesn't listen to anything I say but follows me round the house conducts endless dreary monologues, and that she gets most of her opinions from the Daily Mail, making the endless dreary monologues make me want to stab her. However, I just cannot bear listening to the kids try to talk to her and be completely ignored. I used to put it down to the fact she couldn't understand them, and to be fair she probably does still struggle to understand dd, but ds is 6 and speaks perfectly clearly.

She's visiting now. Example from earlier today - ds got his Beaver jumper out to show her (he's just been invested). She launches into story about how she saw some Beavers at the memorial thing she went to at the weekend.

Ds: "I was in a parade on Remembrance Day too". (He was really really proud of this and it was very important to him).

MIL: "Hmm. It was quite cold so I wore a big coat and Maureen was there too and her daughter's boyfriend's cousin's dog has got terrible blood pressure... etc etc... blah blah.. something else inaccurate about some random person's health..."

Every time she comes to stay he starts out trying to talk to her and then just gives up and ignores her in return, which makes her cross, or gets shouty because he's feeling ignored. Which I think is fair enough but then I feel like I have to tell him off for being rude to Grandma.

Sigh.

Rant over.

Rudolphstolemycarrots Thu 15-Nov-12 23:05:46

can you demonstrate to her how to continue a kiddie conversation?

Ds: "I was in a parade on Remembrance Day too". (He was really really proud of this and it was very important to him).

MIL: "Hmm. It was quite cold so I wore a big coat and Maureen was there too and her daughter's boyfriend's cousin's dog has got terrible blood pressure... etc etc... blah blah.. something else inaccurate about some random person's health..."

You: ''So, DS what happened in your rememberence Day parade?''

WelshMaenad Thu 15-Nov-12 23:48:04

OH MY GOD. Are we married to brothers? This is my MIL, absolutely.

She once interrupted DH on the phone, who had called her to tell her about a really important medical appt of Dd's, to launch into a monologue on how their local cinema had closed down, and all the gums they had been to see there...

WelshMaenad Thu 15-Nov-12 23:48:52

Films, not gums!

Euphemia Fri 16-Nov-12 07:28:33

Typical "conversation" between MIL and DD:

DD: Grandma, we did an assembly at school last week and I ...
MIL: Oh look! Andy Murray's on TV! I ...
DD: Grandma! I was telling you about my assembly!
MIL: Don't interrupt Grandma, darling, that's rude.

Argh!

RandomMess Fri 16-Nov-12 07:35:51

Can she look after dd so you and ds can have some special time? I would tell your ds that Grandma is old and not good and listening and it's not him it's her!

Sharksandfishes Fri 16-Nov-12 07:51:04

This could be my mother. We live on the other side of the world! I will ring her and she will tell me about the latest dog she is looking after (she is a dog sitter) and totally ignore everything I tell her.
Most recent crazy conversation (bear in mind I had just had DS2 3 weeks before):
DM: [Boring story about dog, where she took him for a walk, who his owners are and where they have gone on holiday]....anyway, how are you?
Me: I'm ok, but exhausted, DS2 is not an easy baby like DS1, he doesn't seem to be as settled and I'm finding it so hard not having family support.
DM: Oh. Did I tell you I got lost the other day?

Arrggghhh! angry

We also Skype with DS3 who is 3.5 and she just totally ignores him, and then says things like "he talks fast doesn't he?". When she rings the house and he answers the phone, he tries to tell her things and gets really frustrated. sad

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