Me or DH (about sex TMI sorry)

(69 Posts)
BlugPutt Wed 14-Nov-12 20:05:52

Have name changed for obvious reasons (I think so anyway). Really need to know who is BU?. DH has one of those male sex toys which occasionally we use. (On him only) I have no problem with it and will happily climb on top, but I draw the line at me putting it in him,- he can do that I think (once its in it stays there). He thinks I should be open minded enough to put it in, I think he should be grateful I have no problem with him using it. So am I a prude??

neighbourhoodwitch Wed 14-Nov-12 20:08:35

Not at all prudish, should just be fine for him to put it in if you are not comfortable to do so.

TellyRotsYourBrain Wed 14-Nov-12 20:09:31

I believe bums are for poo only. But i don't begrudge anyone else! So id do what you personally feel comfortable with.
Wold you REALLY want you to do something in the bedroom you weren't comfortable with?

BonkeyMollocks Wed 14-Nov-12 20:09:59

Not prudish - each to their own he should respect that you don't want to do it, but have reached the compromise that you don't mind if he does!

BooyhooRemembering Wed 14-Nov-12 20:10:32

hmm, well IMO if he wants to use a sex toy on himself then he has no right to expect that you will be happy to asist him in using it if you dont want to. similarly, you wouldn't expect him to use a toy on you that he had no interest in using.

winnybella Wed 14-Nov-12 20:12:04

Hmm. I would say a bit prudish, tbh, and it would kill the mood for me if the situation was reversed and my DP refused to do something like that for me.

OTOH you should not do anything you're not comfortable with, of course, but why aren't you ok with doing it, if you don't mind?

thebody Wed 14-Nov-12 20:12:21

I couldn't do this and would think it odd that a straight man wanted me too but that's totally my opinion/hang up.

BertieBotts Wed 14-Nov-12 20:13:51

He is being unreasonable.

Prude is a horrible word - so what if you don't feel comfortable doing something? That's your right as a person, nobody should make you feel bad about that!

BonkeyMollocks Wed 14-Nov-12 20:13:55

I do agree you need to decide on this before the moment, it would be a killer to have this convo right in the middle!

AlienRefluxovermypoppy Wed 14-Nov-12 20:14:12

Just tell him you're not into it, end of.

YANBU

winnybella Wed 14-Nov-12 20:15:40

thebody-anal stimulation has nothing to do with being/not being gay, fgs. It's very pleasurable so why should straight men be made to feel weird for wanting to enhance their sex life? confused

BooyhooRemembering Wed 14-Nov-12 20:16:35

thebody sexuality has nothing to do with enjoying a physical sensation.

BooyhooRemembering Wed 14-Nov-12 20:17:18

xpost with winny

thebody Wed 14-Nov-12 20:17:33

Winny, yes I am sure you are right and as I said each to their own but for me it would be a complete turn off.

We are all different.

BonkeyMollocks Wed 14-Nov-12 20:17:58

I couldn't do this and would think it odd that a straight man wanted me too but that's totally my opinion/hang up

Why?

T'is apparently a very pleasurable thing for a man. Are they not entitled to explore their bodies?

thebody Wed 14-Nov-12 20:18:51

To add not criticising ops dh for doing this.

BlugPutt Wed 14-Nov-12 20:26:14

Thanks for that! I really have no problem with him using it, I just don't want to be that involved in the process. I like that he likes it, but that's about it for me (and I wouldn't get him reciprocating on me either…)

IfNotNowThenWhen Wed 14-Nov-12 20:29:05

Um. Are we tallking strap-on here? And does he want you do do it every time you are in bed, or just sometimes?
If it's every time, then it could be that this particular fetish is somewhat taking over your sex life. That would be a problem for me, I think.

FeckOffWithYourXmasBollocks Wed 14-Nov-12 20:31:11

I see my arse as a kind of one way valve.....

mrsspankythechristmaspoo Wed 14-Nov-12 20:34:04

Agree with thebody I couldn't think of anything more off putting than a man wanting me to penetrate him.
Sorry but I see it as a 'gay' thing, which I know is completely socially conditioned but I wouldn't be able to shake that feeling.

I don't see why you should have to do something esp sexually that you don't want.

ImperialBlether Wed 14-Nov-12 20:36:28

Push it in and go and have a nice cup of tea.

BlugPutt Wed 14-Nov-12 20:38:17

Took too long to type the last post so lots of x-posts. Yes he's definitely straight and it very good for a male- massively good!
He is fully aware of my feeling on putting it in so its not really a mood killer (well I didn't think so- maybe it is for him??), I don't just refuse on the spot, it's an understanding I am not comfortable putting it in. I was there when he bought it, discuss it openly with him and have no problem him using it. (It's more a special occasion sort of toy not an all the time sort of thing)

MammaTJ Wed 14-Nov-12 20:39:11

Sex or elements of sex have to be something both people agree on or it doesn't happen.

BlugPutt Wed 14-Nov-12 20:41:34

Ifnotnow No it's not a strap on, it's a bit like a curvy dildo that goes in and stays in. It also has a vibrate button I do press the button for him no wonder I have name changed. Imagine talking about this at the school gate

It's not a strap on, think the clue is in the ops name.....

I can understand why you wouldn't be comfortable, just reiterate that you are happy for him to do it, and you enjoy seeing the pleasure he gets.

What is freaking you exactly? Are you afraid of hurting him?

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