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to report this child to the school because she's accused my dd of 'faking' an injury.

(85 Posts)

Dd2 sprained her ankle at school in a PE lesson last week. It is a bad sprain and has been very painful for dd. She couldn't go to school for two days last week and one day this week because it simply hurt too much for her to be able to walk enough. Yesterday she went back with a walking stick to help her balance. We have taken her to A&E, it's been x-rayed and she has exercises to do. She's got through a lot of pain medication over the last few days. This morning she struggled to get out of bed because it was so sore (having stiffened up over night). Poor lamb sat on the edge of her bed and cried. Then she got up and got on and as the stiffness eased she felt she could manage at school. She's done really well but on the way home told me that whilst everybody else has been supportive one girl had told her repeatedly that she was faking it for attention and then started making faces at her. ( They are 11 btw - not primary age) I am livid about this and I've rung the school to report it. I hope they will treat it seriously as imo telling somebody they are faking an injury or illness is a really horrible way to behave. Dd is temporarily incapcitated but is this how this girl would treat the disabled too? I feel her ideas need adjusting sharpish. Or AIBU and over-reacting because I'm upset to see my sweet, active daughter in pain?

lisad123 Wed 14-Nov-12 16:21:39

Think you need to calm down and relax. Who cares what a snoty 11 year old said! Seriously take a step back

Samcro Wed 14-Nov-12 16:22:23

yanbu sounds very nasty to me and you did right to let the school know.
hope your dd is over this soon.

ihavenofuckingclue Wed 14-Nov-12 16:26:15

calm down.

Its not nice. But kids are not always.
How do you want them to deal with it? You have taken action, I am sure they will speak to her?

As for the 'is this how she would treat the disabled' seriously? You are blowing this out of proportion.

As an aside, do you think your dd may have a reputation amongst her peers for being a bit of a drama queen.

I am just thinking there would probably be a reason this girl has done this? Has she had problems with her before.

pointybird Wed 14-Nov-12 16:28:44

OP, you're seriously over-reacting. Girls at secondary school are quite often hideous to each other, and it was just the one girl. Tell your daughter to ignore her as everyone else is being supportive.

Lisa - dd cares.
I have an older daughter. I'm fully versed in the many and varied ways girls can be nasty to each other but this isn't a matter of getting on with people or not or misunderstandings when yes she would need to find her own way. This is picking on her because she's injured and I'm blowed if I'll put up with that. Dd is visibly in pain btw and no she hasn't mentioned this child before. They all came to this school from different ones. She barely knows her.

StrawberriesTasteLikeLipsDo Wed 14-Nov-12 16:30:27

Its a minor injury. It may well be hurting but TBH an eleven year old wont be likely to care. If this has been going on for a while then maybe the girl thought your dd was milking it.

Sorry to be mean OP but blimey you've got your pants in a twist about a one off... She had a sprain not a limb hanging off!

Santasinmypudenda Wed 14-Nov-12 16:31:20

You really can't compare a sprain to a disability

OpheliaPayneAgain Wed 14-Nov-12 16:32:06

And you think the school will do what? Don't you think they have real problems to deal with?

valiumredhead Wed 14-Nov-12 16:32:18

Kids are vile - get used to it!

Poor dd, hope she is better soon smile

Mrsjay Wed 14-Nov-12 16:32:22

11 yr olds can be mean let it lie, you are seriously overreacting to this , dd2 broke her foot and was told over facebook that she was faking cos she had a cast on their mum had told them you dont need a cast blah blah
she could go to school you know and just hobble about it is only a sprain

StrawberriesTasteLikeLipsDo Wed 14-Nov-12 16:36:28

Also If my child were in anyway reprimanded for what sounds like a passing comment id take a dim view of the school TBH... Id of course expect it to be explained that other people are sensitive and the comment may be upsetting, but beyond that is overkill. Its not as if this girl has repeatedly made comment, so completely separate from a bullying scenario.

To compare an attitude to a sprain and try and say this makes the other girl likely to be against disabled people is quite laughable?! Look at this from the other girls POV there's a girl taking time off and dramatically limping round with a Stick for a sprain... Preteens arent exactly famed for empathy are they?

FutureNannyOgg Wed 14-Nov-12 16:37:25

She sounds like a bog standard spiteful bully to me, she has just picked up on an obvious weakness. I would treat it like any other episode of bullying, which you have, so I would say don't dwell on it now. Speculating about her attitude to disabled people will not help your daughter, she just needs reassuring that this girl is just a twat so she can have the confidence to get on with stuff.

I understand it must be horrible for your daughter, I had a lot of this sort of bullying when I was a kid, as I have joint problems. I used to get out of double german once a week for physio, and I got no end of grief for it, same when I was off games, and when I had to wear ugly supports. I remember one girl pushing me so I dislocated my knee (I'm hypermobile, so I did that a lot) and another time when it was wet out, and my crutches slipped and no one would help me up (my legs were in splints so I couldn't push up). It was absolutely horrible, but ultimately, it is bullying, and the school will have a protocol to deal with it, you have reported it, so it will be dealt with now.

merlottits Wed 14-Nov-12 16:37:48

Calm down. You seem really rather over involved. So what if one little cow did that? At 11 your daughter needs to be handling one-off difficult situations herself.

I'm more alarmed by the fact you are treating your DD with a simple sprained ankle (yes painful I know) as if she's been severely and permanently disabled.

Pampered much?

ramblinrose Wed 14-Nov-12 16:37:53

I would just tell your DD to ignore it.

Frontpaw Wed 14-Nov-12 16:39:36

Your poor daughter! The other girl sounds as if she is a bit jealous of the attention your daughter's getting. I always suspect people like this are just saying what they would do (ie fake for attention).

Ignore her and don't descend to her level. Your daughter doesn't need to answer to anyone!

StrawberriesTasteLikeLipsDo Wed 14-Nov-12 16:40:06

nanny ogg you were bullied and had a serious medical Condition - tragic but in no way comparable the OPs DD has a sprain and a girl made a one off comment...

AnyFucker Wed 14-Nov-12 16:40:18

Actually, NL, this girl sounds like she is exhibiting bullying behaviour so I think it is worth mentioning to the school. I presume they have a zero-tolerance policy for bullying ?

Teachers won't take any responsibility for what happens off school property, but they could knock it on the head if it is potentially disrupting your child's learning

btw, wouldn't she be better with elbow crutches ?

Fair play for being all lioness;but maybe take a step back now.
You've reported it now for better or worse. Put to the back of your mind and hopefully your dd will also.

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 14-Nov-12 16:43:03

"she could go to school you know and just hobble about it is only a sprain"

A bad sprain can be as painful as a break.

You have my sympathies, Northern

EuroShagmore Wed 14-Nov-12 16:43:08

You are being a drama queen. Let it go.

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 14-Nov-12 16:43:32

and I agree with AF that the girl sounds like a bully.

helpyourself Wed 14-Nov-12 16:43:57

The other girl is a nasty bully. But you'll best serve your daughter by encouraging her to to disregard it. She'll come across dismissive, rude, troublemaking and plain cruel throughout her life unfortunately and the best way to cope with them is to not take their opinions on board. Hope she feels better soon.

Mrsjay Wed 14-Nov-12 16:44:20

A bad sprain can be as painful as a break.

Oh i didnt mean to make it out like it was nothing what i meant is she could manage school with a sprain to her foot I am not disputing it is painful

AnyFucker Wed 14-Nov-12 16:48:06

The trouble with a sprain is that the inflamed soft tissues are tweaked again over and over every time you move your foot. When you have a broken bone it is encased in plaster which prevents the movement, hence less pain (at least whilst still in plaster)

Your dd should still be at school though. With elbow crutches, and non-weight-bearing with ibuprofen/calpol alternated for pain relief.

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