Pregnant friend smoking weed.

(114 Posts)
firefliesinjune Wed 14-Nov-12 14:39:49

I really dont know what to do about this. Its about my friend - well we aren't really close - we are neighbours who get along ok, our oldest DS go to school together.

She is nearly half way through her pregnancy but she is still smoking weed and quite a lot. She isn't "stoned" all day long she actually works most days but mostly in the evening she is smoking a lot of weed. I know this to be true as we have talked about it. She says she is too stressed to stop. Her husband smokes too.

Just recently she had very bad stomach pains and she has told me that this pregnancy is more painful than her last. I worry about the effects on her baby.

She knows I dont really approve but she isn't really the sort to care. I dont know whether I should maybe mention my concerns to the family mentor at the school who knows us both and is a really nice lady? I just feel so awful knowing she may be damaging her baby and I am not doing anything about it.

Should I be minding my own business?! If its none of my business then tell me and I will accept that and try not to get involved. I am not a busy body or gossip but this has been playing on my mind.

I dont have anything against cannabis to be honest, as long as you aren't harming anyone you can do as you like I dont care but she is harming her baby isn't she?

Any advice gratefully accepted!

ilovetermtime Fri 16-Nov-12 16:38:48

Ha! We do have a very ostrich-like approach to some things in this country don't we?

LittleTyga Fri 16-Nov-12 15:17:01

I wonder if there's been any proper research done on this?

ilovetermtime That's the problem - because it's illegal a special licence is needed iirc to do research - so not much done - what has been done usually learns about the amazing qualities it does have!

PeshwariNaan Fri 16-Nov-12 06:39:25

Having smoked in the past myself a lot, my concern would be twofold: there aren't enough studies on it, and surely smoking anything affects the mother's oxygen intake? I know when I smoked in the past (sans tobacco), I developed quite a cough. Even if you smoke once a day and use a water pipe, it's hard on your lungs IMO.

That said, I'm not drinking while pregnant, and people have jumped all over me on these boards for that choice. I don't think there's anything wrong with a bit of caution especially given I can't even take my normal allergy meds or nasal spray.

Anyway OP, I'm not sure what you should do. I'd encourage her to think about other options for her anxiety, but if she's been on ADs before and they haven't worked, maybe there's not a solution. (Anyway, ADs in pregnancy are themselves under-studied.) Surely if she's a nurse herself she knows the drill?

ilovetermtime Fri 16-Nov-12 06:12:59

I wonder if there's been any proper research done on this? It seems like all the research is focused on alcohol and yet there are a lot of cannabis smokers out there with no clear guidelines. I guess that's the problem when no one wants to talk about it because it's illegal, iyswim .

Jomato Thu 15-Nov-12 22:42:35

She assumed cannabis because it was incorrectly mentioned in the notes. It may just have been one midwife with misguided ideas about withdrawal or it may be something that is being seen on a regular basis without research evidence to back up, difficult to say but would be interested if any midwives on here had any insight.

ilovetermtime Thu 15-Nov-12 20:05:22

Can you have signs of withdrawal from something that isn't physically addictive? Would it not be from withdrawal of the tobacco it's smoked (usually) with? Or maybe it was a caffeine withdrawal cry, as presumeably it's much more likely that the mother drank a lot of coffee during the pregnancy rather than smoked a lot of cannabis? Seems a strange assumption to jump to IMO.

Jomato Thu 15-Nov-12 19:11:07

I haven't research the impact on cannabis use of foetal development. I do know that as a social worker I recently had a midwife ask me whether a mother had been using cannabis as baby was showing mild signs of withdrawal (particularly high pitched cry). She told me she had known babies show similar symptoms from caffeine withdrawal. It might be worth talking to your friend about it and suggesting she discuss with her midwife.

Bumpstart Thu 15-Nov-12 18:19:44

Valium redhead. Thanks for linking. It is another fact sheet with no references, from a partisan organisation.

I think people are clutching their pearls about the idea of drug addict mums. They think that all drugs are addictive in the same way. They do not realise that a junkie steals from their family to get a fix because they physically need the drugs, where as a cannabis addict has got more mental resources to put into finding some weed because it is a psychological rather than a physical need.

I'm sure some posters who are so damning of a pot smoking parent whose parenting skills are not being questioned could look at their own behaviour and realise that there are habits they have which others may consider damnable. Like plonking the kids in front of the tv so they can have a quiet half hour on mumsnet.

ilovetermtime Thu 15-Nov-12 17:32:28

Thank you alien!

AlienRefluxovermypoppy Thu 15-Nov-12 14:56:59

I did lovetermtime but you put it very well grin

ilovetermtime Thu 15-Nov-12 13:12:24

Haven't read the whole thread but just wanted to chip in with my experience, or rather my friend's! She smoked some cannabis throuout her pregnancy... but did loads of research on the topic first and then asked the midwife what she thought! The midwife said that if it was helping with her stress levels then a little bit in the evenings wouldn't hurt, or at least not as much as giving up.

Not everyone who smokes weed is an addict either, there is a big difference between USING a drug and ABUSING a drug (sorry if anyone's pointed this out already).

Mylittlepuds Thu 15-Nov-12 12:14:18

If she was on ADs before then there you have your answer as to why. She's found something that can help control her stress. Arguably safer than ADs in pregnancy? Don't judge unless you've been in that situation.

Shagmundfreud Thu 15-Nov-12 11:15:34

"if you researched this or knew how it worked you'd see it isn't dangerous for the baby"

I spent five minutes googling this and instantly came up with a raft of studies suggesting that cannabis consumption in pregnancy may impact on a child's cognitive development, and on levels of hyperactivity.

Still - if I wouldn't say anything to a pregnant smoker of tobacco (I wouldn't), I also don't think I'd say anything to a pregnant smoker of cannabis. Can't see that one is significantly worse that the other.

firefliesinjune Thu 15-Nov-12 11:02:17

Thanks for all the replies.

As I said before I have nothing against smoking. I just worry for the baby. Its her personal choice to smoke - I get that. As bad as I may find it.

I know she has been on ADs before and she finds the weed is the only thing that "helps" her.

I dont think I will report her to anyone I dont want to make life hell for them and I suspect it may make life very difficult if I do tell someone.

I will however try and get her out of the house a bit and see if I can offer her the extra support she needs.

bellabreeze Thu 15-Nov-12 09:04:47

the stress of stopping smoking tobacco wouldn't be worth it
And ok valium x-post

EmmelineGoulden Thu 15-Nov-12 08:56:48

If you concern is about harm to the foetus (rather than concern that someone who's stoned every night isn't being an adequate parent to her current child) and you don't think she will stop taking canabis, then see if you can persuade her to change to eating it. The known bad effects of canabis when pregnant are due to smoking, especially when mixed with tobacco.

valiumredhead Thu 15-Nov-12 08:53:34

Yes bella that is what I said confused

bellabreeze Thu 15-Nov-12 08:45:57

The low birth weight is because of TOBACCO not cannabis!

bellabreeze Thu 15-Nov-12 08:44:33

In fact smoking it isn't illegal but possesion and selling are

LoopsInHoops Thu 15-Nov-12 08:44:28

And would you think of phoning SS if you knew she smoked cigarettes?

bellabreeze Thu 15-Nov-12 08:43:36

Yabu, if you researched this or knew how it worked you'd see it isn't dangerous for the baby

valiumredhead Thu 15-Nov-12 08:43:01

I agree 100%.

hellsbells76 Thu 15-Nov-12 08:42:14

I'm aware of that, and presumably so is she. It's still her body so her choice.

valiumredhead Thu 15-Nov-12 08:38:32

No they don't hells - but smoking does cause low birth weight.

hellsbells76 Thu 15-Nov-12 08:36:03

Foetuses don't get addicted to nicotine FFS, it's not heroin. Look, it's not ideal but it's also not any of your business. Fortunately we're not in the US and women can do what the hell they like with their bodies, pregnant or not. While some may make daft choices, I'd rather that than anyone having the authority to police what they do on the grounds that they're nothing but a walking womb and lost all their autonomy the minute the sperm met the egg.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now