to think it's weird that a parent hangs about my child's nursery all the time?

(139 Posts)
Christmas78 Tue 13-Nov-12 10:49:04

I should start by saying I know I'm paranoid. I just don't know if I'm being completely paranoid this time!

Regularly when I pick up my baby there is this one father sitting around in the baby room at the nursery chatting to the girls who work there. He's a parent of one of the older babies so he's got a right to be there. I just don't get why he's there all the time! I pick my DS up at different times of the day as I work from home so it's definitely not just a one off. And why does he hang around like it's his sitting room or a coffee shop?

My issues are 1) the girls spend all their time bantering with him when I feel they should be focussing on the babies and 2) I just find it a bit weird that he's around my child so often and not a carer. I mean, I'm tempted to ask if they've blimming CRB checked him.

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 13-Nov-12 15:44:10

or..was I condoning Jimmy Saville as well? hmm

Raspberrysorbet Tue 13-Nov-12 15:45:30

But I still don't understand OP. you must be there for all the time he is to know he is there all the time! Or how do you know?

SoupDragon Tue 13-Nov-12 16:28:36

I hate all the sneering, "calm down dear", intellectual posturing that suggests that paedo-hating is a lower-class, tabloid preoccupation

And I hate all the hand wringing speculation that goes on on MN suggesting that men are not to be trusted around children. It happens all the time.

StuntGirl Tue 13-Nov-12 16:29:38

Yanbu to question how staff spend their time when they're meant to be looking after your child.

Yabvu to think him being a man,
needing crb checks or any other rubbish bears any relevance.

Christmas78 Tue 13-Nov-12 16:38:24

Raspberry Ummm, from spying...

I work full time and tend to pick DC up when it suits me at very random times and I noticed that every time I arrived he was settled in to the sofa in the baby room as if he'd been there a while and was still there when I left (granted only a few minutes later).

As I live opposite and it was irritating me I kept an eye out for him leaving after I got home on a couple of occasions and he was there for ages. I mean not all day but an hour or so.

*Stuntgirl" I never said him being a man had any relevance. Gawd! Read the post and stop putting words in my mouth.

OTheHugeManatee Tue 13-Nov-12 16:48:51

Perhaps he is a SAHD who suffers terrible loneliness because everyone looks at him then sprints away screaming AAAAAAA PEEDO PEEDO PEEDO. Perhaps these nursery workers are the only exception.

How cruel of you, OP, to be irritated by the poor lonely SAHD.

Raspberrysorbet Tue 13-Nov-12 17:09:46

Is your baby happy at the nursery?

If so then meh, really...

If not, either find out why or move the baby.

I'd have thought working full time and being mummy the rest of the time left no time for spying activities....<must get better organised>

StaceeJaxx Tue 13-Nov-12 17:17:47

I can understand your concern but he probably just has a clingy child, or maybe he fancies one of the girls working there. wink

When my dd1 started school nursery DH had to stay with her for the full 2.5 hour session everyday, for around 3 months. She was so clingy, she would scream, throw herself on the floor and start to headbang if he went to leave. It was either him stay for the full session with her, or she didn't go to nursery. It was highly unusual and I know some of the other mothers had a problem with it. But TBH they're also the same ones who now she's 9 still have a problem with her and me. hmm We now know it's because she's autistic, but back then we didn't. It was a really stressful time, and DH how upset she became so him staying was the lesser of 2 evils.

TiggyD Tue 13-Nov-12 17:21:33

He might be a perve. I don't mean a child related perve though. At one of my nurseries there was a chap who did like to hang round with the amply boobed teenage and early 20s lady staff in the nursery. They always had difficulty getting him to leave, but were always eager to get rim of him.

Kethryveris Tue 13-Nov-12 17:27:28

just ask who he is.. just say you noticed he's there a lot and wondered if he was an employee or not.

stop the hand wringing and grow a pair.

thebody Tue 13-Nov-12 17:32:30

Why don't you ask him in a jokey way if he's moved in?

If you worried about the care if your baby tell the manager.

stinkinseamonkey Tue 13-Nov-12 17:34:32

I would assume he was a parent volunteer and think nothing of it, or that his child had needs that required him to be there

ticktockcroc Tue 13-Nov-12 17:35:09

Fanjo what are you on about? Through only person who's mentioned 'paedos' is you.

Op I would ask - I wouldnt like it if it was a mother or a father - it just sounds unprofessional of the nursery to me.

TiggyD Tue 13-Nov-12 17:35:16

He might be a great laugh and really nice to know. Or a relative. Or a nursery worker himself.

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 13-Nov-12 17:37:15

Ticktock, yes, noone at all was implying it hmm

ticktockcroc Tue 13-Nov-12 17:42:11

It's becoming a bit of an mn perennial this - someone mentions safeguarding in a non hysterical way and then people pile in screeching 'peado hunter' and getting all bolshy and het up about it. I see more hysteria from through peado hunter hunters then from anyone else.

Kethryveris Tue 13-Nov-12 17:43:28

i've worked in nurseries and the only reason for a parent to be there that long is if their child has complex needs they're teaching the nursery staff to cope with!

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 13-Nov-12 17:47:08

Ticktock, the opposite of what I have seen then. How intriguing

MrsCantSayAnything Tue 13-Nov-12 17:55:00

Exactly ticktock do you know what I think? I reckon...early on in MN there was probably a few perve-fear threads and then some reasonable and well respected posters will have told people that they shouldn't be afraid of ALL men.

This led to the "fashion" for denouncing any woman on here who dares to have any suspicion about ANY strange man.

Which is causing an imbalance.

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 13-Nov-12 17:57:57

What a load of bollocks

McChristmasPants2012 Tue 13-Nov-12 18:01:16

i wouldn't find it weird at all, I really don't see the problem.

MaryZezItsOnlyJustNovember Tue 13-Nov-12 18:04:56

Have I wandered into an alternative universe?

MaryZezItsOnlyJustNovember Tue 13-Nov-12 18:07:25

I mean, as the thread goes on the op is appearing more and more reasonable (at least her posts are becoming more reasoned).

It's the other posters who are becoming unreasonable, which is the wrong way around.

There must be a happy medium between "I don't want any stranger in the same building as my child" and "I don't mind if random people spend the entire day chatting to my child's carers, so they aren't actually looking after my child".

Won't someone think of the children?

[sigh]

ticktockcroc Tue 13-Nov-12 18:10:22

" constantl paedophile witchhunts on here atm" is complete hyperbole. Definitely not intellectual posturing!

catgirl1976 Tue 13-Nov-12 18:16:29

Is there a limit to how much time people can spend at thier childs nursery talking to the staff?

I haven't had that memo. I need to make sure I am not going over the quota.

He could just be talking about his child.

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