to hate the cliche "busy mum"?

(153 Posts)
MaureenCognito Sun 28-Oct-12 14:58:00

where are all the women who describe themselves as "bone idle sods who happen to have some kids in a cupboard somewhere"?

m185874 Sat 09-Feb-13 15:26:36

Well, "#BusyMumFact" is a common put-down on Twitter when someone posts an opinion (usually a biased right-wing and spectacularly ignorant opinion) on there. Implying that the archetypal "busy mum" has no spare time to actually find out anything about the topic she's writing about and she's just "shooting from the lip". It parodies the over-developed sense of martyrdom that some mums have, so it's accurate in that respect, I suppose.

LaQueen Tue 30-Oct-12 14:27:09

Jus grin

That reminds me of someone I know who kindly suggested I take up twice weekly yoga and spinning classes with her (she's a SAHM with teenage children).

Apparently, 'it would get me out the house and kick start my day' hmm

Jusfloatingby Tue 30-Oct-12 13:08:48

I remember years ago I was working full time and going to college at night to do my degree and a SAHM friend with two children suggested I do some task or other rather than her because "you have more free time than I have". I was a bit shock.

Wallison Tue 30-Oct-12 11:54:42

Feeding them chocolate boobies? That one?

kim147 Tue 30-Oct-12 11:50:59

Just seen a new one

"Happy mum" - yes, it involves feeding children.

UptoapointLordCopper Tue 30-Oct-12 11:49:56

To be honest though, I think I do this "busy mum" thing rather well, to the extend that one of my SAHM friends said slightly resentfully to me that "it's all right for you, you don't have to juggle". I take that to mean that my juggling of work etc appears so effortless that I am the envy of the nation. << takes a bow >>

RosannaBanana Tue 30-Oct-12 10:17:38

Love it disembodied!

fromparistoberlin Tue 30-Oct-12 09:14:50

what Laqueen said, 1000 times over

my beloved SIL is a sahm, and now the kids are at school she plans to go to Museums and have some "her time"

which I do NOT resent, really, she cant work really as my BIL works silly hours

But I did find it a tad insensitive given I work FT and do all the house shit at weekends

anyway, I am off topic now, majorly./...

MoreBeta Tue 30-Oct-12 09:13:06

Busy Dad?

Nah. I'm stilll in my PJs and DSs are going to another SAHMs house all day. I suppose I ought to get a shower and put something decent on before she arrives. grin

SarryB Tue 30-Oct-12 09:07:26

Any "Mums on the go" need a new handbag?

LaQueen Tue 30-Oct-12 09:04:46

If I was feeling pithy, I would observe that if your life is incredibly busy, when all your DCs are at school and you don't have a job...then your Time Management skills are pretty shit.

I'm not impressed by overt busyness...I'm impressed by a Mum who manages it all without having to travel with a 3-Ring Circus and marching band, to announce how terribly, terribly, terribly busy she is all the time.

cornybeefhash Tue 30-Oct-12 09:00:07

yes - exactly that!

disembodiedHandbagCrab Tue 30-Oct-12 08:59:54

To me the term 'busy mum' makes me think of women rushing around doing activities of little importance to the big picture. Women too tied up in the small details of everyday life they are unable to critically think about anything else and therefore believe the claims in adverts that celebrate their busyness and their mumliness.

The implication I think, is that being a busy mum is the standard. If you're not running from football practice to cupcake sale to big pile of ironing to making gourmet meal for the family then you're not doing mumming right. This can only be done apparently with a hapless husband standing around ineffectually whist you whirlwind around icing biscuits and removing imperceptable stains and planning christmas dinner for fifteen with a smile on your face and a cheeky wink for your fella.

I guess if there was a busy dad stereotype he would be rushing home from the boardroom to home where his adoring kids would latch onto him like limpets and he would emanate a saint like glow as he put some washing in the machine (on the right cycle! With the right laundry stuff!) and some fish fingers in the oven. His beautiful out of his league wife would be stood gazing at him in deep admiration and would probably offer sexual favours as a reward for his busy dadliness.

LaQueen Tue 30-Oct-12 08:58:02

See what you mean...yep, I know what you mean. It's all a bit corporate speak isn't it grin

A lot of the BusyMums at our school, are ex-career women and they have brought all their skills and vocabulary into their new role as a SAHM.

cornybeefhash Tue 30-Oct-12 08:55:44

'run a home'
that phrase I hear a lot and I just don't like it

LaQueen Tue 30-Oct-12 08:55:24

wasa I think you're right. Basically, these BusyMums (and I mean BusyMums who don't have a job) are only doing what most women (who have a job) do on a daily basis, as well.

But, I think BusyMums feel the need to make out that it's all so much more taxing and demanding, and complicated that it actually is. I was a SAHM for a while before the DDs went to school...I found there was always plenty of time for coffee mornings, and shopping and general chilling out...which I built into my daily routine.

So, I'm always a bit hmm when I hear SAHMs protesting at how busy they are grin

LaQueen Tue 30-Oct-12 08:51:11

corny how do you mean?

wasabipeanut Tue 30-Oct-12 08:47:32

Agree with LeQ. It's almost as of SAHM's feel the need to prove how busy they are as they know society places fuck all value on their contribution. I am busy but am looking forward to the lazy years when all 3 are at school! I often feel the need to tell people that I work freelance at home in addition to caring for a 5,2 and 4 month old.

See? I did it then too.

cornybeefhash Tue 30-Oct-12 08:39:58

laqueen I agree with your observations but...saying that you run a home is just as bad surely?

Bonsoir Tue 30-Oct-12 08:36:21

I'm a busymum, most definitely grin. But then, French school, with its midday break and Wednesday off, means that there aren't great swathes of free time...

LaQueen Tue 30-Oct-12 08:32:27

To add - I actually have 2 jobs, and take care of the DDs and run a home. Despite this I have engineered my life so that it's as busy-free as possible - I like to relax.

I think too many women think that engineering a constant attitude& appearance of busy-ness makes them appear more worthwhile and important.

LaQueen Tue 30-Oct-12 08:29:35

I overhear this from a lot of the BusyMums at school...always rushing off here, and dashing off there...what further intrigues me is that very few of them have jobs hmm

How busy can you be, exactly, when all your DCs are in full time education, you don't have a job (and you don't need one) and you have a cleaner hmm

On further investigation (well, eaves-dropping) it t'would appear that most of their busy-ness is completely self-inflicted and compromises of hurrying off to a coffee morning, or rushing off to the gym or racing off to meet a friend for lunch.

susiedaisy Tue 30-Oct-12 08:20:32

Ragwort I am envy of you!


Wallison Tue 30-Oct-12 08:11:48

I always thought that 'hard-working families' was code for 'families in receipt of tax credits' - with the 'hard-working' being used to distinguish them from those less worthy recipients of other welfare benefits.

'Busy mum' sets my teeth on edge. It has a kind of knowing, patronising stance about it with the way that it insinuates an understanding, almost a familiarity if you like, about the virtuous nature of the subject's busyness that the speaker is talking about.

BlackSwan Mon 29-Oct-12 21:20:42

So tired & bleary eyed I read 'bossy mum'. Works for me.

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