It's not on to tattoo a 14 year old? So WWYD?

(53 Posts)
GilbGeekette Mon 15-Oct-12 14:53:30

One of DDs best friends proudly showed me her new tattoo yesterday. It is 100% an actual tattoo - has the reddishness and general slightly raised edges of a new tattoo so isn't a henna one or a transfer. DD is 14, as is her friend! Ok, at a push, they might get away with looking 16, but not 18! Friend has been tattooed by the dodgy piercer/tattooist locally, who has pierced the noses, bellybuttons, whatever of many of her 14 yo mates.

I appreciate that friend is not my DD so it's not really my business, but I suspect her mother wouldn't be over the moon. My DD is also having a hell of a time - her father is dying of cancer and her friends are really supporting her and generally being darlings to her. Ergo, I don't want to cause a rift at an exceedingly emotional and fraught time.

However, I am raging at the irresponsibility of the tattooist. WIBU to ring Trading Standards (or someone? Not sure who?) and report this? As an aside, I had piercings in my yoof, and still have a tattoo so it's not being anti body modification smile it's about laws being there for a reason...

MaryZed Wed 17-Oct-12 10:53:42

ds is 18 now, and has no regrets. He feels he is the only one who still remembers his friend - he feels that everyone else has forgotten and moved on (as teenagers do), but is still very glad he got the tattoo.

I hope yours do follow up - whatever about an rip tattoo, the thought of 14 year old girls getting their current boyfriends name, or One Direction or something that they will have grown out of in a year is horrible.

GilbGeekette Wed 17-Oct-12 10:48:20

BloodRed - I've had to write a letter detailing my concerns which they will then 'follow up'. Whatever that means! They didn't sound too surprised - this particular place does have a bit of a rep locally so I hope that they'll visit and do... something? Fine toothcomb of books, sterilization procedures, autoclaves whatever. I know that there will always be dodgy places but I'm very good at ranting then not doing anything. MN is making me better at actually walking the walk, not just talking the talk!

MaryZed - that's such a lovely thing for your son to do and you to support (even though it might not have felt that way at the time?) I'm a bit teary at the thought; I got my tatt at 22 to remember an ex-boyfriend who took his own life. 13 years on I still feel like it was the right thing to do.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney Wed 17-Oct-12 10:38:05

Well done glib glad to hear you've done the best thing.

MaryZed Wed 17-Oct-12 10:15:20

ds got a tattoo at 15. I was very pissed off at the idea, especially since he had managed to find a couple of really dodgy places to do it for him and I knew he was determined to go through with it, regardless of how dodgy they were.

In the end I took him to a "reputable" place and signed that he was 16, even though they knew (and I knew the knew) he wasn't (the law was 16 with parental permission here at the time, I think it's 18 now).

His situation was a bit different though. He has Asperger's and had decided to have an rip tattoo for his best friend who had just killed himself. ds was grieving, he was unable to cope at all with the grief, and had decided this was the only thing he could do "for his friend" and would have done it himself with a needle if he had to.

It's the only time I have ever condoned one of my children breaking the law, and it was because I felt I had no choice.

And I'm still amazed the guy did it for me. And would be furious if dd got one just for fun.

BloodRedAlienReflux Wed 17-Oct-12 10:05:05

Nice one Gilb! What did environmental health say?

GilbGeekette Tue 16-Oct-12 12:07:29

BloodRed - it could be a lot worse if it wasn't actually an ok tattoo. By which I don't mean it was ok to tattoo her!! Anyway, it's in the hands of environmental health now.

Wrt her mum being told: I sat DD and friend down last night and talked to them. DDs friend is being very supportive of her at this very stressful time so I thanked her for this (and said how mature she was being etc) then took a deep breath and explained that even though DD had begged me to stay out of it, I'm not happy to collude/be complicit in something that her mum doesn't know about. I explained that if a mum had kept something about DD from me, I'd be very unhappy, and that parents of teenagers have to stick together wink I also said to friend that eventually her mum would find out and that she'd be better off taking the pain now. It's not like she can take the tattoo away after all...

Happily, I'm seeing her mum on Friday, so I've given her a timeframe to work in. I've told her that if her mum doesn't say anything, I'll assume she hasn't told her, at which point I will. I think I've lost my cool mum reputation

BloodRedAlienReflux Tue 16-Oct-12 11:53:09

Yes, do something, some twat tattooed me when i was 15, my boyfriends name shock for ....... £1. I had to live with that for years, fucking irresponsible twat.

Dds friend's mum took her to get her belly button pierced at age 14. I was shock, DD was [eurgh].

FryOneGhoulishGhostlyManic Tue 16-Oct-12 11:32:30

MrsJay the good tattooists/piercers ARE responsible. It's the ones doing piercings/tattoos on underage people who aren't responsible and giving others a bad name.

And if they're willing to do underage people you have to look at all the other stuff they'll be willing to shortcut on, eg hygiene, aftercare, insurance, etc, all the stuff my own tattooist is so careful about.

The phrase 'tramp stamp' makes me cringe, it's so misogynistic sad it's not what they are 'known as', it's what vile people call them hmm

Mrsjay Tue 16-Oct-12 08:59:56

My younger sister got her belly button done at 15 without consent Im not sure where , anyway she hid it from my mum for ages It ended up going septic EWWW she came to see me one day with a pus filled belly button , I had to take it out clean it and take her to the doctor for antibiotics . It is really dangerous teens getting things done behind parents back and do I do think tattoists and piercers should be more responsible,

Kincardine Tue 16-Oct-12 04:40:14

I'd never want my soon 14 years girl to have a tat. It's way to young to make a choice about that.

However, you said, "I appreciate that friend is not my DD so it's not really my business, but I suspect her mother wouldn't be over the moon."

Personally, I'd leave it down to the girl's mother or father to decide.

shemademedoit Tue 16-Oct-12 04:28:10

I had my first tattoo at 14 using a friends non-photo driving licence (that's how old I am) for id. Years later it cost £7000 to get removed. Wish someone had stopped me but I knew better....

GhostofMammaTJ Tue 16-Oct-12 04:14:21

My DD age 17 was telling me that she wants a tattoo and that she can get one with parental consent. I said 'Good luck asking your Dad' (who she lives with) and she said she already had. Nice try DD!!!

StuntGirl Tue 16-Oct-12 00:03:05

Yep, illegal under the age of 18. I recently reported a similar instance; I contacted the local council as they issue licences. They're currently investigating.

doinmummy Mon 15-Oct-12 23:13:37

I was shocked to find out that children do not need parental consent to have a piercing, except for nipples and fanjo.

LST Mon 15-Oct-12 23:07:39

I had all of my tattoos under 18 bar one at 18 in faliraki my first was 15 in Bulgaria and my second was when I was 16 in my mates bedroom by his dad.

InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream Mon 15-Oct-12 23:01:21

I had a tattoo at 15 but with parental consent. I didn't think it was possible to get one with that if your are under 18

EuroShopperEnergyDrink Mon 15-Oct-12 21:12:21

I realise that- but if all paperwork was signed, ID was provided and there was no cause for concern, I don't know where that leaves the girl if OP decides to go the police.

I know that in certain states of America the person who has 'deceived' the tattoo parlour, even if a 'minor', is held culpable in cases like this.

FryOneGhoulishGhostlyManic Mon 15-Oct-12 18:49:50

I had to sign to confirm age, name, etc and provide a legit contact number.

FutureNannyOgg Mon 15-Oct-12 18:35:51

Euro, a responsible tattooist will keep a photocopy of the ID with the signed consent forms on file, so if EH investigate they can prove that a believable ID was shown.
Almost all tattooists have their own photocopier to copy and resize designs, so it's not difficult to keep all the paperwork legit.

EuroShopperEnergyDrink Mon 15-Oct-12 18:27:13

*over things? OTHER THINGS.

EuroShopperEnergyDrink Mon 15-Oct-12 18:27:01

She may have possibly used a fake ID. With someone else's debit or student card to lend weight to the argument.

I know lots of people who got their first tattoos at around 14/15 in this way.

And I know it's obviously illegal- but if she looks about 18, and has an ID that looks like her and all over things necessary to back it up, you can't really launch open fire on the tattoo shop..

GilbGeekette Mon 15-Oct-12 18:19:13

Pinkforever -Tragus is ear. Not tongue. That's banned until she is an adult, at which point I cease to have a say smile

Have spoken to environmental health who administer licences for tattooists and were v helpful. Will speak with friend first, in the manner suggested by MmeLindor for reasons set out in OP. Thanks for all the input folks, it's good to get a kick up the arse to do something rather than just having a rant wink

FryOneGhoulishGhostlyManic Mon 15-Oct-12 18:18:57

Agree with others to report tattooist. I am 44, had one done last week, and my tattooist still wanted to see my ID.

My tattooist is very hot against irresponsible tattooists, especially scratchers.

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