to think that 40 years old is NOT too old to become a Mother, whether it is tbe first time or not?

(287 Posts)
SoleSource Thu 11-Oct-12 16:47:19

I am 39 soon and would like to have another baby.

marbleslost Thu 11-Oct-12 17:00:27

Lots of people do. There are more older mums than younger ones in our school playground.

I was 38 when I had DS2, I'm now 43 and I still feel a little bit broody at times.

WitchesTitWhistles Thu 11-Oct-12 17:01:17

I've been having kids since I was in my late teens. I'm 41 now and am preg with the 4th.

I honestly don't feel any different physically, I'm definitely healthier and happier.

I reckon having kids around keeps you young.

WinkyWinkola Thu 11-Oct-12 17:02:37

Too old according to whom?

Biologically, many many women can have babies right up until menopause kicks in.

Financially, it's case by case.

In terms of energy and inclination, it's also case by case.

I think it's mostly a very personal choice. Unless biology dictates otherwise.

seeker Thu 11-Oct-12 17:02:38

Oh, Pagwatch, you and I just don't realise that we're too old to have pre teens. Shall we hand them over to social services now, or wait til we collapse with exhaustion in the street and have them taken away? grin

Pagwatch Thu 11-Oct-12 17:02:40

Lisaro is right.
My dd has a couple of friends whose mothers are in their 30s yet their manner/attitude is older and less active than mine. One of them said to me 'you will understand and when you are my age' when we met - I was 46 and she was 33.
I would have felt flattered but for the fact that she did look, and more importantly seemed, much much older. And tbh I would normally grab at anything that even seems faintly like a compliment.

I was quite rude unintentionally as when she said 'I am 33' my jaw dropped.

Startailoforangeandgold Thu 11-Oct-12 17:02:49

DF was two weeks off 43 with her first
DMIL was 39 and 41 and they definitely kept her young.

Kingcyrolophosarus Thu 11-Oct-12 17:03:58

i hate this
it didn't even occur to me that over 40 was old to have a baby
I had my first at 37, no-one had ever mentioned being an older mum

Pagwatch Thu 11-Oct-12 17:04:01

Arf at Seeker.
Yes. My poor DD with her knackered mother just hanging around waiting for my slippers and ovaltine

panicnotanymore Thu 11-Oct-12 17:05:37

I'm 39 and pregnant with DC1. Took me all of 6 weeks to get up duffed so forget the statistics about being too old to conceive. My GP told me her highest number of accidental pregnancies are women in their 40s (because they take chances with contraception believing the risk of pregnancy to be low).

I'm probably fitter and healthier than I was in my 20s, am financially secure so have the option of being a SAHM if I want to be, and am older and wiser about life. I think being an older parent is absolutely fine.

wordfactory Thu 11-Oct-12 17:07:12

For me, it's not that I feel too old for another at 43, but that I still feel so young. And that I will still be young when they leave for university.

It's quite a giddy prospect to think that I will be only 47 when they leave, DH 46...a whole new life, and we'll be in our prime.

The idea that I would be over 55 at that stage feels rather depressing.

Proudnscary Thu 11-Oct-12 17:08:06

Course you ain't too old!

My lovely best friend just had her first a month shy of her 40th.

BUT <doom and gloom> you may not be able to fall pregnant and it does frustrate me when women (not you) talk about having babies into their 40s as if it will definitely happen.

MaBaya Thu 11-Oct-12 17:08:48

No, of course you're not 'too old'.

I was well and truly done in my early thirties - I am way over babies and stuff no at 35 - but I have friends who are just starting out in their late 30s with motherhood....each to their own path and all of that.

MadameJosephine Thu 11-Oct-12 17:09:54

Oh God I hope not, I'm 41 and 35 weeks pregnant with DC2. My DS is 16 now and I feel much better during this pregnancy than the last one!

SlightlySuperiorPeasant Thu 11-Oct-12 17:10:19

YANBU but I don't see anything wrong with a doctor advising a woman that fertility decreases from 30-ish (or is that 25 now, I can't keep up) onwards. It's medical fact, not judgemental opinion.

dexter73 Thu 11-Oct-12 17:10:45

No way. My sister had her dd at 44 with no medical help to become pregnant.

LadyInDisguise Thu 11-Oct-12 17:10:46

It's a personal choice isn't it?
For me the 40's were the sort of line I didn't want to cross. Actually 38~39yo was the limit I set to myself because I couldn't see myself with a 20yo still at UNi when I would be 60s and thinking of retiring.

But obviously that's my limit and my choice. I can't see how I could impose that on anyone else.

I do judge though women who are still trying through IVF etc... to have a child at over 45~50yo. I think that there is a point where your own longevity (ie how will you be in your dcs life) and the difference in generation (ie understanding of the world around + values) has to be taken into consideration.

FunnysInLaJardin Thu 11-Oct-12 17:11:05

word I am fully intending to be in my prime at 60.

GrimmaTheNome Thu 11-Oct-12 17:11:08

YANBU. Has someone suggested its unreasonable? loads of women have kids in their 40s

I was 38 when I had DD and that was no problem. I've got my work-life balance sorted better than I could have done if I'd had her earlier in my career so I've time and energy and (it helps) money to do stuff with her.

MoonHare Thu 11-Oct-12 17:11:15

YANBU

I'm 39 expecting no. 3 in a week or so (first at 35yrs, 2nd at 37yrs) .

I don't feel or look old. My pregnancies and children have all been healthy, previous births straightforward.

There's such a lot of scaremongering in the media about 'older' mothers and our rapidly drying up ovaries. I must admit to being in shock that nos 2 and 3 were so easy to conceive. I actually hardly know any mothers under 35.

Go for it!

MikeOxardForHalloween Thu 11-Oct-12 17:11:29

Yanbu, go for it. Good luck. x

SoleSource Thu 11-Oct-12 17:11:33

55 is not old wordfactory. Perhaps you secretky would lime another baby as you have such strong views. I was 24 when my first and only was born.

ScaryBOOAlot Thu 11-Oct-12 17:11:46

I was pregnant at the same time as the mother of a girl I went to school with (that was a little weird...). She was over 40 and having her 3rd, she said she was more tired but felt fine.

Its always individual.

CMOTDibbler Thu 11-Oct-12 17:12:08

I have several friends who have had babies at 40 - one is currently pg with twins due on her 40th.They seem to cope fine

I had my first at 40, 2nd at 43.

It really never occurred to me to have children earlier (bit thick/immature emotcon). I was very lucky re fertility and got PG easily, though I did have one MC in between (that may or may not have been age related - who knows).

For 2nd baby, aged 43, the NHS treated me very differently than my first. I was 'officially' aged, and a different set of statistics were applied to me (they wanted to induce me on Due date etc, I was monitored through VB) so it was a little more stressful that with DD1. I was not treated as an older mum at all with DD1 (born 1 month after my 40th bday).

I glowed through being PG with DD1, suffered with every (minor but uncomfortable) ailment with DD2.

I'm so so so glad we had DD2 - go for it SoleSource

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