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AIBU to be concerned about this (re:DD2 and reasonable noise)??

(157 Posts)
matchpoint Mon 08-Oct-12 18:53:03

My DD2 started in Reception last month. She is really enjoying herself so far and I am really pleased.

However, in her class, there is a little girl who has a tube in her neck which is attached to a breathing machine, whihc is quite noisy (no idea why, none of my business I suppose). There are two full time members of staff who work with this child.
My DD2 has consistently complained that the noise from the breathing machine is "annoying" and she "doesn't like it". So far, I have (nicely!) told her to get over it, but I am starting to get concerned about the effect this may have on her education.

WIBU to go to the teacher about this, and ask for some kind of solution? I'm not asking for this little girl to go be educated in a shed far away from other children. I am concerned, however, about the effect of this constant low-level noise on my DD2 who does deserve to be educated too.

First post here, I'm slightly at a loss here, and could do with some MN advice!

DistantShip Mon 08-Oct-12 18:56:11

Ooohhhh. Here's a flameproof suit and a hard hat......

SoupInaBasket Mon 08-Oct-12 18:56:26

This might not go well.
Short of sitting in a bubble it will be noisy.
As long as she can hear the teacher I don't know what can be done.
I think get over it is the best option.

phantomnamechanger Mon 08-Oct-12 18:56:32

seriously?

how about teaching your child to respect those less fortunate than herself?

in a classroom full of reception aged children the noise of a breathing machine is going to be almost negligible

Enigmosaurus Mon 08-Oct-12 18:58:02

What kind of solution are you expecting them to come up with?

YABU. Totally U.

foslady Mon 08-Oct-12 18:58:07

Have you thought about asking your dd to put herself in that girls shoes? And then how she'd feel if someone complained about the low level noise for her tp stay alive..........

Lesson in compassion and less about mememe I think.............

NatashaBee Mon 08-Oct-12 18:59:07

I imagine that actually having to rely on the breathing tube is far more annoying for the affected child, than the noise is for your daughter. Your child won't be able to work in a bubble of silence for the rest of her life, the sooner she learns how to tune out background noise and focus on her tasks, the better.

phantomnamechanger Mon 08-Oct-12 18:59:35

How about you send your DD with earplugs and get her to lipread the teacher?

aldiwhore Mon 08-Oct-12 19:00:14

I've never known a silent Reception class.

If your dd is being irritated by the sound, then I would think having a descreet word about the 'noise' would be reasonable... if for example, they have set seats/places and she is always next to the machine, maybe a different approach to seating is required. YANBU to mention it.

However, I am afraid I suspect you're talking shite. My experience of Reception class has never been silent, there has usually been a quiet corner, for reading, but it's usually organised chaos.

I think YABU completely U... Other people are annoying. Breathing machine or otherwise, other people make noises... I think you should try to teach your DD some strategies for being able to concentrate when silence isn't an option. Her classmate doesn't have an option, she has a right to an education. Just like your dd... the difference is though, that your dd has choice at how she manages this annoyance, her classmate has fuck all choice.

I'm not disrespecting a genuine concern, like I say, you could speak to the teacher to make sure your dd has some quite time, but if you go in expecting something to 'happen' to the other girl to make life easier for your dd, then you're approaching it the wrong way.

gymboywalton Mon 08-Oct-12 19:00:51

a reception classroom is a noisy place by it's very nature
the noise of a breathing machine is not going to affect your daughters education. I am imopressed that she can hear it over the noise of all the other kids tbh

libelulle Mon 08-Oct-12 19:01:52

Gosh, where to start... You need to tell your DD (and yourself, it would seem) how lucky she is to be able to breathe all by herself, and think how it would feel to be actually attached to such a machine 24 hours a day in order just to survive. At least your DD can move away to another part of the classroom, unlike the little girl in question.

At 4, I can understand that your DD needs help in realising that some people are less fortunate than her. I'm less understanding of a full-grown adult needing the same lesson taught.

Narked Mon 08-Oct-12 19:02:01

Unless she has sensory issues then yes, she needs to get over it.

AntsMarching Mon 08-Oct-12 19:02:02

Oh don't be so harsh to the OP. some people can tolerate low level constant noise and some can't. It sounds like its bothering your dd. I'd talk to the teacher and see if sitting dd further away would mean she could get away from the noise.

libelulle Mon 08-Oct-12 19:09:25

But it's a reception classroom - the children hardly have assigned seats, surely. The DD can move away of her own accord. But really, she needs to be told that sometimes in life you have to tolerate minor annoyances for the sake of others, and start to learn to put herself in someone else's shoes.

SheelaNeGig Mon 08-Oct-12 19:23:16

What do you think they should do? Turn it off?

And its reception. If it was quiet and you DD not allowed to move around I'd be worried

Whitecherry Mon 08-Oct-12 19:26:47

How do other children cope?

TandB Mon 08-Oct-12 19:28:45

Reception-age children aren't exactly renowned for their selflessness and worldliness, so it is quite understandable that your DD has made this comment.

But I am gobsmacked that you are even contemplating asking the school to do something about it. This is a child with serious disabilities, not a nuisance that your daughter needs to be moved away from. I would suggest a discussion about diversity and disability.

Unless your daughter has some sort of particular noise sensitivity then her education is hardly at risk. Certainly not in reception.

BigWitchLegsInWailyTights Mon 08-Oct-12 19:30:34

I can't think what you expect the teacher to do?? Chuck the child out of the class? Teach her in a cupboard?

I would explain again to dd about why the little girl has this equipment and how important it is. If this girl follows her up the school years then maybe it would become a concern but right now i think its best left alone, theres no way you are going to come out of this looking like your making a reasonable request. Put yourself in the place of the other parents whos been told that her daughters breathing tube makes too much noise and distracts the class. Yab totally unreasonable sorry.

ihearsounds Mon 08-Oct-12 19:33:56

Firstly reception children are anything but quiet.
Secondly, a Tracheo (breathing machine) are not really that noisy. Well until they start bleeping because there is a blockage. We have 2 students in my class with the machines.
Thirdly, what do you expect the school to do about it? Seriously. Do you really think that the students can cope without the machine switched on? Talk to your child about people being diverse.

ihearsounds Mon 08-Oct-12 19:35:17

Sorry Tracheo, part of a breathing machine.. Its that bit that's usually noisy unless the machine bleeps.

BoysBoysBoysAndMe Mon 08-Oct-12 19:35:23

Over time your dd will not notice the noise, and she will switch off to it.

Like when we turn our alarm clocks off without noticing.

MogTheForgetfulCat Mon 08-Oct-12 19:36:21

I can see why your DD has raised it - she finds it annoying, fair enough. It may well be. But you are concerned about the effect it may have on your DD's education? In Reception, where they should be doing colouring, sticking, drawing and a bit of Jolly Phonics? And you are thinking of complaining to the school? I think that is pretty precious, entitled and shameful. Poor girl sad.

Figgygal Mon 08-Oct-12 19:39:25

How awful you need to seriously educate your daughter about accommodating people less fortunate than herself!!

ventilatormum Mon 08-Oct-12 19:44:39

have name changed for obvious reasons.
my dd has a "hole in her neck" (tracheostomy) and a "breathing machine" (ventilator) which is probably what this little girl has.
I am thrilled and delighted to hear this little girl is in mainstream education, as my daughter is. My dd additionally is in an electric wheelchair and has been since she was in reception. She is now 14.
OP, you are blessed beyond belief to have a little girl who is well. What the parents of the ventilated child will have got through to get to this point would make your hair curl. The care the child will no doubt have at home, as well as at school (my dd also has two people with her all the time), is virtually a full time job in itself. She will have had weeks and weeks in hospital, probably on various occasions. You should pray daily your child will never go through what this little girl does, every day.
And then you should get yourself into school and ask her round to tea. Her mother will love you for it.
Your dd cannot learn too soon how fortunate she is to be healthy, and to respect the sheer bravery of children like the one in her class. That should be your message to her, and any moans about the noise should be knocked on the head by you, the adult, at every opportunity.

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