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To be angry and just a bit upset...

(16 Posts)
dublindee Mon 08-Oct-12 00:01:08

Please be gentle - although I've been here DONKEYS ages, this is my first AIBU thread....

So, DH and I had a LOVELY start to the day today smile after which I sorted brekkie, wrangled the kiddies and we all settled down for a lazy Sunday. Boys watched a bit of telly, had some DS time and then had a "battle" using their NERF guns against DH. After a late lunch DH headed upstairs to computer room. He reappeared briefly for dinner but then was gone again. After sorting through homework with two eldest and organising book bags for tomorrow I sent them up to get ready for bed and on my way back down after saying goodnight (8:45) DH suggested we watch a programme we had SKY+'d to unwind before turning in. I agreed, he replied "I'll just switch the PC off and be down in a few minutes".

Knowing he'd get caught up saying Cheerio on whichever game it was I finished off watching tge final 30 mins or so of last nights Strictly (go Lisa!!) and then shouted up a gentle reminder. He said "yep, coming!" Four more attempts later - I've seen Coyote Ugly and the X Factor results and its now 11:25. He comes downstairs, I DARE to mention its 2 and a half hours later and that he's a bit of a tool to keep me waiting that long, when goes all diva and flounces back upstairs to go to bed.

I rarely have a go at him - I'm not a nagging wife, but I feel it's rude to do something like that to anyone.

AIBU to think that he got off lightly and owes me an apology?

SoleSource England Mon 08-Oct-12 00:22:32

Yanbi grown men playing computer games turns me right orf.

ScrambledSmegsEvilTwin Mon 08-Oct-12 00:30:54

YANBU. What a childish idiot sad.

wineandroses Mon 08-Oct-12 00:33:45

hmm. twat.

He's being a tool.

Based on your OP you did all the parenting today while he titted about like a feckless teenager.

Have a word.

paranoidandroidwreckmyownlife Mon 08-Oct-12 00:38:42

Selfish twunt. Can you log on and see what he was actually doing all that time?
Bad reactions like that were usually guilt related from exFW. He knew he was in the wrong but could never admit it, easier to blame me.
Does he normally act like that if you call him on something?

NewNames Mon 08-Oct-12 00:43:38

Twat. YANBU.

dublindee Mon 08-Oct-12 01:05:40

Not to sound smug - but I don't have to "call" him on much.
He's a gamer - always has been. I knew that when we got together and when I married him. BUT I don't think that gives him the right to just fob me off like he did.

Having said that, I trust him implicitly and feel on need to check the computer history.
He is an eejit - but he's not a cheating eejit!

dublindee Mon 08-Oct-12 01:07:27

No need not on need - doh!

FolkGhoul Mon 08-Oct-12 06:03:35

It sounds like a bit of a guilty conscience to me.

He knows he was out of order. He knows he's 'spoilt' your shared plans for your evening together. He'd probably spent the previous 2 hours promising himself he'd get off in a minute and knowing he should drag himself away. Just one more level...

And then when he finally came downstairs, he knew you were going to say something; he knew what you were going to say; he was dreading it all the way downstairs and then he walked into the room and you said it.

Of course, you were right to do so, but he didn't want to hear it and he reacted. It doesn't sound any more sinister than that to me.

But I think you need to sit down and speak with him about it.

I know you say you don't have much cause for complaint. Does his gaming get in the way of family life at other times though?

dublindee Mon 08-Oct-12 07:31:29

Folkghoul. When there's a game released I could go for days with barely any contact - but since the kids came along he has tried to keep a lid on it a bit - with varying amounts of success sad
The kids idolise him and he is a fab daddy. He knows this is a bugbear of mine and that it's not fair to lump me with all the work when we have 3 boys under 8.
I got a sleepy " sorry - I love you" when I got to bed last night - but I think a talk is called for today.

MissVerinder Mon 08-Oct-12 07:35:33

Turn the electricity off.

Catsdontcare Mon 08-Oct-12 07:36:33

I don't think someone who locks himself away from his family for most of the day to play games is a great dad tbh. Selfish and childish is how he sounds.

kim147 Mon 08-Oct-12 07:40:41

So DH played nerf guns with DCs, played computer games, had dinner made for him and went upstairs for more games.

Whilst you made breakfast, washed up (I guess), made lunch and dinner, sorted homework and book bags hmm

He must be pretty happy.

kim147 Mon 08-Oct-12 07:42:49

The kids idolise him because he gets to play with them. Whilst you do all the work which is not worthy of being idolised by DCs. It's not his job to be idolised - it's his job to be a parent in the house.

dublindee Mon 08-Oct-12 23:27:35

Had big talk this morning after I did school run with the 2 eldest. (DH was working from home today). Got everything said that i wanted and he has apologised for being a "total arse" - his words not mine, but I didn't correct him! smile - and he made a big effort today when he finished work.

I made it clear that I have no problem with him gaming... I have a problem with excessive gaming that impedes upon "us time" or "family time" as to me that's just too important to mess with - and he agreed.

So... Watch this space!

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