To think auctions are not a social outing

(8 Posts)
tangerinefeathers Sat 06-Oct-12 09:30:52

We tried to buy a house today at auction. I had really tried to keep my heart out of it but it was perfect for our DS - garden, space etc.

My parents decided to come along to watch. I don't have the greatest relationship with my mother at any time, and it's getting worse as she ages. She has an inability to empathise which I have always found frustrating. Anyway, today her behaviour was absolutely predictable - after losing the auction she didn't express any sympathy, but just commented on how nice the house had been. Yeah, thanks.

On top of that, she has about 10 properties and on another occasion, when I despaired to her of ever finding anything we can afford, she commented on how her properties must be worth about five million by now.

It's just typical of her to kick me when I'm down. I should have told her not to come, and I'm annoyed at myself. AIBU in thinking that if your daughter is bidding at an auction you should at least show a bit of support? And afterwards, when she has lost, say that the house was a pile of shite anyway?


whois Sat 06-Oct-12 09:37:40

YABU about auctions.

YANBU about your mother.

tangerinefeathers Sat 06-Oct-12 09:39:28

Actually I know I am BU about auctions. They are quite exciting when you're not bidding.

But thanks for saying IANBU about my mother.

Catsmamma Sat 06-Oct-12 09:41:08

Why did you tell her? There's your first mistake.

And surely if she had commiserated that the house you failed to get was a pile of shite you'd have been more upset that she was questioning your judgement and taste?

Seems to me there's no pleasing people sometimes.

CecilyP Sat 06-Oct-12 09:43:13

Sorry, you lost the house you had set your heart on. It is a shame that, with your mother being so wealthy, she is not giving you a helping hand and that she is totally lacking in empathy. But auctions are a public meeting to which anyone can go - otherwise how on earth would they function?

HecateHarshPants Sat 06-Oct-12 09:44:29

Don't tell her about the next one you're going to. Then she can't show up.

tangerinefeathers Sat 06-Oct-12 09:50:46

Yes good point. She asked though and I told her. She never visits so I was surprised that she said she would come along.

Was sort of joking about the house being a pile of shite, didn't mean it literally, more that when you've just lost a house you don't really want to be told how lovely it was. 'You'll find something better' would be a kinder remark, surely?

And yes I was also hoping that perhaps she'd offer some money if we needed it. I know that is unreasonable, and it's her money, except that she is so stingy and sometimes it's frustrating seeing how much she has and what we could do with a fraction of it.

YouMayLogOut Sat 06-Oct-12 10:18:12

If she has "about 10 properties" then maybe she has more of a detachment towards buying/selling property than you do, and feels there will always be another one along soon. Maybe she didn't realise that saying it was a lovely property would upset you - it was just a fact.

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