To be hurt for being publicly judged by my own brother for going away without my DC (fb related, sorry)

(117 Posts)
MoomieAndFreddie Fri 05-Oct-12 17:32:53

DH and I are going away for a few days after Xmas to New York. This will probably be the last time we go away minus DC as we are TTC-ing after Xmas. and this was going to be our present to eachother and a last big holiday if you like, before, if we are lucky enough, DC3 comes along. our DC are 3 and 6 and are staying with my DPs in the Cotswolds, my DPs are more than happy to have them, so we will be spending the run up to xmas with the DC and also xmas eve, xmas day and some of boxing day.

Anyway, my brother has posted all over Facebook how "disgusting" and "selfish" we are "leaving the kids at christmas" and how he "can't believe mum and dad have agreed to it" and he thinks we should take them with us.
BTW, the DC have had 2 holidays already this year, this summer, we took them to Lanzarote and Wales.

He hasn't said ANY of this to my face, it has all been via public facebook rants for all our friends and family to see. Its as if he just wants to show me up. He is of course entitled to his opinion on it, but I feel he should tell me privately. He looks down on us anyway as we live in a HA house and are just ordinary, whereas he has a high flying job and a flashy car and nice apartment.

I don't have to explain myself to anyone, but we just don't want to take them on this occasion. And anyway, IMO a long flight followed by lots of walking around shops and sightseeing in the freezing cold NY winter, would not be much fun for them. or us

DB does not even have DC of his own and barely has anything to do with my DC, he is pretty uninterested in them tbh so why they sudden sanctimonious behaviour? confused

anyway I am hurt and just want to rant I guess., I am quite prepared to be told I am BU for going away sans DC but I really think my DBs behaviour is shitty and U.

LaQueen Fri 05-Oct-12 22:21:36

It's such a shame that you can't choose your family, eh? He's an idiot, but he can't help it.

Go. Have a great time. New York at Xmas is luffly. You're spending all of Christmas with your DCs - I don't really count Boxing Day as Christmas anyway, it's just the day you spend with a hangover and indigestion, watching another Bond movie... hmm

We left our DDs for 4 days to go to NY when they were 3 & 2. They stayed with doting GPs, who spoiled them rotten and waited on them hand and foot. We also had 2 family holidays with them that year.

A few people judged us... as if those whole 72 hours (gasp) could somehow, some way, possibly wreak and negate the thousands and thousands of hours we'd happily spent together as a family.

Yep...those whole 72 hours could ruin everything. Everything, I tell you hmm

Flojo1979 Fri 05-Oct-12 22:22:45

I'm not buying the whole its our last trip alone nonsense. If u can leave 2 kids then I don't see why u won't leave 3.

Your brother is an idiot, however if u have plastered all over your fb page that u r going away etc then YABU not to expect ppl to post on your page however they see fit. Bit like AIBU!

HecateHarshPants Fri 05-Oct-12 22:25:04

Oh, tell him to go fuch himeslf

joyjac Fri 05-Oct-12 22:32:37

Flojo where does it say the OP plastered all over fb that they were going away?

Smeghead Fri 05-Oct-12 22:55:48

If u can leave 2 kids then I don't see why u won't leave 3.

Well presumably they are going to sacrificing such trips in order to have DC3. Babies cost money and I would think that the main reason that they wont go again for a good few years will be money, and the side issue of baby sitters. I speak from experience when I say that finding a family member who will take care of 2 children for a few days is a hell of a lot easier than finding one who will have 3, especially if one of those is a baby.

Smeghead Fri 05-Oct-12 22:56:33

joy She didnt, did she? I read it that the "D"B plastered it all over FB, not the OP.

Flojo1979 Fri 05-Oct-12 23:01:02

Joy that's why I said if she did.

Pandemoniaa Sat 06-Oct-12 02:24:43

I'm not buying the whole its our last trip alone nonsense

I don't recall the OP asking you to buy into anything. Let alone what you very rudely describe as "nonsense". She was merely saying that this was probably going to be their last big holiday without her dcs before she has a third child. Which seems entirely reasonable to me. What isn't reasonable totally is her brother's decision to post inflammatory nonsense about this proposed holiday on Facebook.

Incidentally, is there some sort of txt spk virus going round? It's all over MN like a rash right now.

Thumbwitch Sat 06-Oct-12 02:37:46

YANBU and I think whoever suggested that he's jealous that his own time with your DPs is being "taken over" by real children (as opposed to his manchild self) has the answer.

What a pathetic weevil he is.

I think your DC will have a lovely time, so long as your "D"B doesn't fuck it up for them by sulking all over the place - but perhaps your DPs will prioritise your DC over the selfish manchild.

I would comment purely factually on his FB for record-straightening purposes - that you are leaving late on Boxing Day and will be back after a few days - let others then see what a manipulative brat he's being.

And have a lovely time!

catgirl1976 Sat 06-Oct-12 08:17:28

Have come to this late but he is a twunt.

Have a nice time in NYC.

Figgygal Sat 06-Oct-12 08:19:46

I have only one comment........can I come? grin

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Sat 06-Oct-12 08:29:36

I also don't understand why DC three will mean no more trips alone? But that's not the point. Your brother is very rude...but I am being judgey too and wouldn't go to New York without my DC.

catgirl1976 Sat 06-Oct-12 08:34:12

Maybe the OP won't be able to afford trips to NYC with 3 DC?

Not that it matters.

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Sat 06-Oct-12 08:45:48

that wouldn't stop her taking two now though?

JeanHarlot Sat 06-Oct-12 08:47:37

Last Xmas we left our 3 kids with my DPs for 12 days!! It was hard on us, but the kids had an absolute ball!! They got spoiled rotten and got to play with their cousins everyday! We thought it would've been a lot harder trying to keep 3 kids quiet on a plane from Australia to the UK. I hadn't met DH's family until then. Many might say we were selfish, but it certainly hasn't damaged our lot and we will be taking them over to the UK for 3 weeks next year now that they are that bit older. You go and enjoy yourself. YANBU. Your brother is probably jealous and being a twat.

WofflingOn Sat 06-Oct-12 08:54:47

My childless, single younger brother gave me a lot of unsolicited advice on breastfeeding and birthing when I was expecting DC1.
I love my brother dearly, but sometimes he is an arse and I tell him so.
Your DB sounds much less likeable, if he were mine I'd be kicking his arse rather than telling him. Don't let him get to you, your children will have a lovely time for the few days you are away.

Flojo1979 Sat 06-Oct-12 09:00:29

I wouldn't and couldn't leave my kids and go to a different country. My DCs are used to me always being there and if anything happened to them and they needed to go to hospital or anything which is quite likely with my 2 they'd want mum.
However if u were my sister I wouldn't be plastering stuff on FB, totally BU.

charlottehere Sat 06-Oct-12 09:03:55

Your db is an arse.

charlottehere Sat 06-Oct-12 09:04:51

Your trip sounds lovley - enjoy. IMO you are not leaving dcs at xmas, its all over by boxing day!

GragPop Sat 06-Oct-12 09:07:44

Just call him a poo head.

margerykemp Sat 06-Oct-12 09:08:36

He's toxic- remove him from your newsfeed.

exoticfruits Sat 06-Oct-12 09:10:36

Have a lovely time. Just ignore him completely-don't bother to reply.

DilysPrice Sat 06-Oct-12 09:14:52

Have a lovely time. If I were your mother I would be ripping your 'D'B a new one.

dysfunctionalme Sat 06-Oct-12 09:15:04

Your brother is being very nasty and tbh I would find it hard to maintain any sort of relationship with him.

You need to block him from your FB and let him stew in this on his own.

Does it help you to know I left my 6 month old for 8 days while I took the other child on holiday to another country?

MoomieAndFreddie Sat 06-Oct-12 09:22:16

omg Thumbwitch! I actually LOLLED at "pathetic weevil" - its like you know him personally pmsl.

Well there has been more developments, he has now announced (again, via FB) that its not actually so much about the kids but more that he thinks the money would be "better spent on life improvements" - namely, towards a deposit on our own house.

Am speechless Tbh.

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