To ask for some encouragement (and perhaps a little handholding)

(43 Posts)
BatCave Fri 05-Oct-12 11:48:22

I need to phone someone for some bf advice. Whether its mw or a helpline. But I keep chickening out because I know I am going to cry buckets down the phone and come out looking like a complete fool.

Day 3, I'm in agony and so engorged my DS can't latch.

I know I need some help but I just can't do it. DH has gone out with Mil and DD as she was doing my head in (mil not DD).

CaliforniaLeaving Sat 06-Oct-12 22:24:29

Put some breast milk on the sore nips and air dry.
I remember walking round the house with a thin tee shirt on and the flaps down on the nursing bra trying to let mine air out from my clicking nurser who made them raw. Just don't answer the front door. blush

YouMayLogOut Sat 06-Oct-12 13:28:16

You're definitely not a failure! You're doing the best you can, which is all anyone can do.

nickeldaisical Sat 06-Oct-12 13:14:49

you're not a failure.

nickeldaisical Sat 06-Oct-12 13:13:19

get some lansinoh in the meantime smile

BatCave Sat 06-Oct-12 13:11:37

I'm having to cup feed ebm at the moment to let my nips heal, one is now bleeding sad his suck is so strong he has left teeth marks from his gums!

This is horrible now he's so unsettled and rooting, and I can't just pop him on, he can't have any more ebm for now so as not to stretch his tummy.

You wouldn't have thought I was bf a toddler just 6 months ago, I feel like such a failure sad

nickeldaisical Sat 06-Oct-12 10:32:05

DD did an awful lot of nipple feeding at the beginning! she still does when she's being lazy.

it's annoying, but worth perservering (i lost count of the times i pulled her chin down "big mouth, DD, big mouth")

missymoomoomee Sat 06-Oct-12 10:26:37

I'm so glad you got help, and sleep, it makes all the difference. I hope things continue to improve for you op.

lovebunny Sat 06-Oct-12 10:19:46

glad you got help.
when you're on your own, ice cubes deaden the pain and make a good shape for latching...

WilsonFrickett Sat 06-Oct-12 10:17:03

I'm so glad you updated us OP. And delighted you're getting such great care. Have some brew and I hope things continue to get better for you.

CaliforniaLeaving Sat 06-Oct-12 05:43:15

Just read the update, what wonderful help you got, I'm so glad you are feeling better. Sleep makes everything seem not so bad doesn't it!

CaliforniaLeaving Sat 06-Oct-12 05:41:55

Oh dear poor you. I went and stood in a nice warm shower and did my crying, Oh the engorgement. I had to do lamaze breathing while Ds latched on, and trying to express so he could latch was miserable. You'll get through it, as it turns out it's pretty common reading all the previous posts.
For me it was day 4 with the first baby, it didn't seem anywhere near as bd with the second, or maybe I just knew what was happening.

BatCave Sat 06-Oct-12 05:02:24

Wow what beautiful kind people you all are! I'm sorry I posted and ran
I literally had the phone in my hand and there was a knock on the door and it was my midwife. I literally burst into tears on the doorstep poor woman!

My boobs were so engorged she suggested we head up to the local hospital for some one on one help and I've had to completely empty with a pump and start again. The pain is because he is such a big hungry boy with a very strong suck but a lazy latch and he's been nipple feeding, hence all the bruising. I've stayed overnight, its such a lovely place and they are helping with p&a and generally holding my hand through the toe curling.

Still in a lot of pain but feeling more relaxed and I've actually had some sleep!!!!

Thank you to all of you who took the time to reply, it means such a lot, in the morning I will pick through everything that has been suggested and grab some tips. So thank you thank you thank you made me cry again

YouMayLogOut Fri 05-Oct-12 19:45:32

How are you, OP?

RobotLover68 Fri 05-Oct-12 19:45:16

Day 3 I cried cos my dad and dh were having a heated discussion and the baby had just projectile vomited the whole feed up over my mother

Ring the helpline YANBU

We all cry on Day 3! Especially when we're in agony from engorgement. Totally totally normal.

Your midwife will be delighted you're calling for help in breastfeeding - they want to support us to get it right and they know how to help.

You're doing brilliantly and it will get better!

Silverlace Fri 05-Oct-12 19:19:25

* latching on!

Silverlace Fri 05-Oct-12 19:18:30

Hope you have got some help by now.

All the previous advice is brilliant. The same thing happened to me on day 3. I phoned the mw to see when she was coming for a visit as DS hadn't fed for several hours. She came straight round and spent 4 hours with me, helping me express some milk, sterilising my pump and holding my hand until he was able to feed again.

I know I was so lucky to have her caring for me. I have met up with her again in different circumstances and have been do glad I could tell her what she did for me.

One more thing, can you get moral support from DH? I asked my DH to.hold my hand during matching on as it used to hurt do much at the beginning.

Good luck, hang on in there, it will get easier.

Splatt34 Fri 05-Oct-12 18:42:40

You have brought back memories of horridness of day 3. i remember sitting at computer on the bf thread at 3 in the morning with tears streaming down my face.

Send MIL away. we had no visitors allowed for first week. cabbage leaves really helped with engorgement. express a bit then try to feed. go back to bed a skin to skin with dd for as long as you can.

oh & do look at bf thread. big hugs

I did that on day 3. And day 4, and 5, and I think quite a few times between days 6-14.

It got loads better after that though smile.

Just do it, it really helps!

WilsonFrickett Fri 05-Oct-12 17:38:51

Kraamtranen. Brilliant! grin

Fosgoldlady Fri 05-Oct-12 17:38:08

My dsis brought choc bars into hospital SPECIFICALLY(sp!) for day 3grin

MyLastDuchess Fri 05-Oct-12 15:58:34

Just chiming in to say that yes, you are meant to cry on day 3! It's so common that we even have a word for it in Dutch: 'kraamtranen' ('confinement tears', more or less.

Xox.

Tailtwister Fri 05-Oct-12 15:36:10

Oh God yes, the day 3 nightmare. I remember it well, but was in hospital at the time with a lot of support around me.

Definitely try to hand express to take the pressure off a bit. Call a bf counsellor as soon as you can. They will be completely used to advising on the issues you are having and yes, do have a good cry to them if you need to as well.

You will be ok and things will improve. Please don't be afraid to get the support you need.

nickeldaisical Fri 05-Oct-12 15:32:55

Just going to echo what everyone else is saying - you're supposed to feel sad and weepy on day 3 - it's totally normal.
I spent the whole of the 3rd day crying and feeling useless. DD wouldn't sleep for me because when she was near me all she wanted was milk, and I was exhausted.

Do try to express a bit of milk off if you're totally engorged- you don't need to dump it (but it won't hurt if you do!), because you could save it and freeze it.
but it will make your boobs feel less rock hard to the baby!
it's not hard to do. there are some really good videos on Youtube to show you.
this is the best one that I found helpful

WilsonFrickett Fri 05-Oct-12 14:47:24

I am screen grabbing this thread for the next time someone calls us a nest of vipers. Lovely you all are. thanks

How you doing OP?

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