to quietly point out to a teacher that the way she spells my daughters name is incorrect

(111 Posts)
freemanbatch Thu 04-Oct-12 22:41:51

I got a note today about an accident at school, the note was written by her class teacher and the spelling of her name was incorrect, I spoke to the teacher very quietly away from other parents to try and check that she did know that it was incorrect and it had simply been a mistake. There are different spellings of the name but we have always used the same one and DD is the only child with that name in the school. She almost shouted at me, to the point other parents turned to listen and said 'you are being very unreasonable expecting that we will know the exact spelling of every child's name why are you making a fuss?'

I really was quite surprised because all I had said was is this how her name appears on the register because the spelling is incorrect. I have heard other people complain about this teacher but I have never had a problem until today and it came as quite a surprise.

Was I wrong to point out the error? DD is a very young year 1 if that makes any difference to the answer.

AThingInYourLife Fri 05-Oct-12 18:43:39

Yes, I have memorised 100+ names and faces quickly every year when I taught secondary.

It is easy peasy.

And it is important, and a part of good teaching to get those kinds of details right, particularly at primary school.

Sloppiness with spelling is unprofessional, especially when it comes to your pupils' names, which is a limited set of things to learn.

If you think parents who expect their children's names to be spelt correctly are twats then you have a shitty attitude that means it's best (as you seem to agree) that you are no longer teaching.

If your ability to teach well is significantly hampered by attending to small, but important, details then you must have been struggling in the classroom.

CailinDana Fri 05-Oct-12 18:46:34

The best thing about not teaching any more is not having to deal with people like you A Thing. Just to let you know I won't be engaging with you again, because I find you unnecessarily nasty.

Finbert Fri 05-Oct-12 18:51:01

How rude of her! As a teacher I have slipped up on the odd occasion especially at the start of a new year, but would be grateful it was pointed out early and very apologetic/embarrassed to the parent/child involved!

kate2boysandabump Fri 05-Oct-12 19:04:42

YANBU to expect a professional to spell your child's name correctly, it's the very least she should do. We have an extra letter to the norm in our surname and it is often missed. I've also been asked if I'm sure that's right hmm

Wow CailinDana, you thought it was OK to show a complete lack of respect to a child by getting their most identifying feature incorrect.

AThing is right it is easy to learn the names and do it correctly, after all, I'm sure in order to be 'Outstanding' you have to correct a child on their mistakes, but not yours it would seem.

CailinDana Fri 05-Oct-12 20:12:11

Kate how very clever of you to get involved, well done.

SoupDragon Fri 05-Oct-12 21:17:32

Were you that patronising as a teacher?

Well CailinDana, with that attitude I'm willing to bet that there are a lot of people now relieved that you are no longer a teacher.

I have to write out cwertificates for the library summer reading challenge every year and I double and triple check most names to make sure that they are spelled correctly - it's important to the child to see that it is their name on their certificate. It's a matter of respect.

marriedinwhite Fri 05-Oct-12 21:31:44

I haven't read all of this but it's your child's name. It's a very important bit of information about your child. I would expect the teacher to spell my child's name correctly. End of. I think I would write a little note to the head of the infants to say "I was a bit worried that x spelled (spelt) my child's name incorrectly when he/she sent me a note the other day. Please would you make sure that my child's name is correctly spelt in the register and all other school records. Here is the correct spelling and I shall be grateful if you will please confirm that it is being used on all records held by the school".

With very best wishes.

Cwertificates - <facepalm>

Certificates...

5madthings Fri 05-Oct-12 21:40:47

Yanbu. We had similar with ds3. The teacher conplained to me that he didnt know how to spell his name (yr1) she showed me his book and i pointed out that he was spelling his name correctly but she and the ta were spelling it wrong! Between them the ta and teacher had spelt it three different ways, none if which were the commonly used spelling. His name is Dylan, so not exactly difficult to spell!

HumphreyCobbler Fri 05-Oct-12 21:57:29

I am sure that CailinDana made every effort to get a child's name right. Sometimes we all make mistakes and it does feel like parents often never comment except to pick on the one thing that is incorrect. It can make being a teacher terribly depressing.

And everyone knows that spellings of names are random. Dylan might be the obvious way to spell a name, but if you had a child in your class two years ago that spelled it Dilan, that spelling is the one carved on your brain.

I think the teacher mentioned in the OP was rude and should not have spoken like this.

people spell my name incorrectly all the time, I never get my arse out about it. How should they know?

Devora Fri 05-Oct-12 22:15:10

It's not getting the name wrong that people are objecting to so strongly, Humph, it's the dismissal that it is important to get it right. Especially at the start of primary.

By the time my dd is in Y3 I fully expect her to be confident about the spelling of her name and it wouldn't bother me if the teacher got it wrong. But in REception and Y1 she is still learning how to spell the surname, and needs the daily reinforcement of having it spelt correctly on her school peg.

zipzap Fri 05-Oct-12 22:36:03

As it was on an accident note you did the right thing checking that it really was for your dd but with a wrong spelling. For all you know there could be an Isabel and isobelle in the class or a Jayne and a Jane - you were being responsible checking that the note was for you and there wasn't some other child who had had an accident and hadn't gone home with an accident note.

As people have said most people try their best to get children's names right but the odd mistake slips through. And most people apologise nicely, are suitably embarrassed and try to correct it. All that's fine.

What is not fine is either the attitude the teacher showed in not expecting to be bothered by spelling names correctly or the the manner in which she replied to you. One of these would make me want to speak to the head teacher, both would definitely make me want to complain to the head.

And no, yanbu to expect her to spell your dd's name. At dc's school by now the entire staff know every child's name - 300 in the school - including the head teacher.

And another vote here for deliberately spelling twacher's name wrong grin

Startailoforangeandgold Fri 05-Oct-12 22:53:45

YANBU
Class teachers should get names right.
Occasional TA's and teachers just doing the odd lesson may be forgiven.

Certainly no one at school shouldn't be rude if corrected.

Mind you it can be useful. DD2 had odd lesson with the HT and come report time we always knew which comments were his because he gets her name wrong every time.

He finally got it right in her very last Y6 onegrin

sarahtigh Fri 05-Oct-12 23:47:13

I can understand people you do not know me well on a once off basis spelling sara not sarah as that is common variation also we have Macsurname not McSurname but I would expect a teacher to have our names right and if unsure to ask

YANBU you did not humiliate her in front of class and yes it is reasoanble to expect P1 teacher to be able to correctly spell names of 20-30 children, if it was a music teacher that taught them once a week amongst 300 other pupils it would be a bit different

Coralanne Fri 05-Oct-12 23:55:13

It's often said that making a mistake isn't a big deal in itself.

It's how you deal with it that people remember.

You simply asked if DD's name was spelt like that in the Register.

Teacher's response probably should have been "Not sure, I'll check when I have a moment and correct it if it is not right"

Everyone happy.

SirBoobAlot Fri 05-Oct-12 23:56:15

YANBU, she sounds very rude and unprofessional, really.

I have the more unusual of two spelling options for my name. One of my teachers insisted for years to use the other, never mind how many times I corrected her. She was a right tit.

Clary Sat 06-Oct-12 00:55:59

That's appalling OP.

Massive over-reation by teacher and you are completely correct to request right spelling of yr DD's name.

I teach secondary which means I have almost 300 students' names to remember, but I make a big effort to recall which Aaron is Air-ron and which is Ah-ron, and that Mia is actually said My-ah. It matters to them so it's the least I can do tbh.

WeAreEternal Sat 06-Oct-12 08:24:33

DS is also in yr1.
He has a fairly unusual name, in that I know that he is the only one in his year.
But it is a common Irish name (DP is Irish) so most people I have met don't find it unusual IYKWIM.

I am American so I chose to use the American spelling rather than the Irish spelling, (with an E instead of an A). This is not uncommon in the England, I have seen a few with the same name spell it this way.

DS's teacher refuses to accept that it is spelled this way and always spells it with an A, it irritatede at first but now I just cross it out and rewrite his name correctly.

What really made me cross was when a TA tried to tell DS that he was writing his name wrong.

Kbear Sat 06-Oct-12 08:32:03

Write her a note on Monday saying

Dear Mrs <name spelt wrong>

Annoying isn't it...

Regards.

Mrs. <name spelt correctly>, mother of <name spelt correctly in capital letters with underscore and highlighter pen.

Big Smile !

Kbear Sat 06-Oct-12 08:32:26

and I'm kidding by the way ! LOL

YANBU- Teacher sounds like an overbearing twit. As someone rightly pointed out, how can teacher check your DD is writing her name correctly if she doesn't?

I would speak with someone above her, you cannot be allowed to speak to parent's like that. There seems to be a belief that teacher's, as they are authority figures, should be excused from talking to adults and children like shit. All parent's who experience this need to report it, stamp it out. Teacher's should be approachable, however small the issue.

I would worry how she is to the children if she is having an off day or if they bring up something in her view that's "unreasonable", if that was her reaction to you.

Eskarina Sat 06-Oct-12 09:19:24

As others have said I think that was an awful response from the teacher. To my shame I have let two mistakes creep in to the spellings of children's names in the class this year. Neither are English names, but that shouldn't matter. One came as a mistake from the office, one I assumed a double letter when it was a single. I was mortified when each parent pointed it out and by the next day I had changed everything - their books, peg labels, name lists etc (ie had redone all the work I'd spent both INSET days doing) THAT'S what your dd's teacher should be doing, not shouting at you!

Flojo1979 Sat 06-Oct-12 09:24:05

YANBU to point it out. However YABU to give your DD a name thats difficult to spell! smile

50smellsofshite Sat 06-Oct-12 09:54:37

No matter how fantastic you are as a teacher, no matter how many medals, trophys and certificates you have supporting this, if you cannot learn 30 spellings in two weeks you are NOT fit for purpose. More importantly if you cannot recognise how important spelling this critical, small piece of identifying information is then you shouldn't be teaching.

There are basics in every career. I love teachers and recognise I couldn't do the job. Huge challenges. This shouldn't be one of them.

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