to quietly point out to a teacher that the way she spells my daughters name is incorrect

(111 Posts)
freemanbatch Thu 04-Oct-12 22:41:51

I got a note today about an accident at school, the note was written by her class teacher and the spelling of her name was incorrect, I spoke to the teacher very quietly away from other parents to try and check that she did know that it was incorrect and it had simply been a mistake. There are different spellings of the name but we have always used the same one and DD is the only child with that name in the school. She almost shouted at me, to the point other parents turned to listen and said 'you are being very unreasonable expecting that we will know the exact spelling of every child's name why are you making a fuss?'

I really was quite surprised because all I had said was is this how her name appears on the register because the spelling is incorrect. I have heard other people complain about this teacher but I have never had a problem until today and it came as quite a surprise.

Was I wrong to point out the error? DD is a very young year 1 if that makes any difference to the answer.

SoupDragon Fri 05-Oct-12 07:21:28

I did this with DS2's reception teacher as all the labels with his name on were spelt incorrectly. She apologised and redid them. When letters came home spelt wrongly it doesn't bother me as they tend to be one offs and the content is n=more important than his name being spelt correctly.

SoupDragon Fri 05-Oct-12 07:21:57

(and his name is spelt the traditional way)

ZeldaUpNorth Fri 05-Oct-12 07:36:47

When in year 1 the teacher spelt dds surname wrong. Ie it was Coleman Instead of Colman (example) I had a word after a few times of it being wrong (so i knew it wasn't a one off) and that was it sorted. Although now the music teacher has decided to call her Callman but i dont get to see the music teacher so will have to put up with it. (dd is 8 now so knows how its spelt)

fedupandtired Fri 05-Oct-12 07:38:28

This really annoys me. The whole of last year DD's teacher spelt her name wrong. Every time I would correct it. I spoke with the office and DD's teacher but still he got it wrong. I think it's inexcusable to be honest. How are our children meant to learn how to spell their name if their teacher can't?

Luckily my DD is old enough to know how to spell her name but a younger child would get very confused.

jamdonut Fri 05-Oct-12 07:57:52

I think its wrong if labels on things are spelled incorrectly, but, sometimes when you are under pressure to get things done quickly, notes in reading diaries or bumped head letters etc may get incorrectly spelled. There are so many children with similar names spelled in odd ways that you can get a bit of a mental block sometimes.
And I know it IS annoying because my own 3 children have had many a problem with people spelling their names correctly. They are are nor weird, fashionable names, but they are unusual, but I tend to shrug it off.( Except when our surname gets spelt with a capital K in the middle ... a Mac name... but that tends to be something that happens through computer databases!)

IgnoringTheChildren Fri 05-Oct-12 08:00:23

I hope that you are going to have a word with the head about this teacher's response to you, she was probably having a bad day but that doesn't excuse it!

When my DS1 started reception, before I'd even got him in the door, the teacher apologised to me as they'd put his full name on the coat peg/drawer labels etc but knew that we use the shortened version. She said they'd get new ones made up asap.

I wouldn't have complained about this - the labels had his (correctly spelt) name on after all! But the teacher recognised the importance of how a young child sees their name and wanted it correct.

All teachers make mistakes over names occasionally but one who can't recognise the importance of this and apologise needs some "retraining" on the issue. grin

Skivvytomany Fri 05-Oct-12 08:24:00

What an unprofessional reaction from her. My daughter gets her name spelt wrong all the time and its not an uncommon name here, just lots of ways of spelling it. Her school always made sure it was spelt correctly though. Our surname also gets spelt wrong but i don't really bother correcting it if its a one of.

I did spell my younger sons name teachers name wrong for a whole year blush It ends in and I wrote ing several times which turns her name into a decorative item grin I asked her about it and she says everyone does it and cos of our accent the way we pronounce both in and ing words sounds the same so unless we seen her name written down we wouldn't have realised.

cherry219 Fri 05-Oct-12 08:33:25

I had to send DH to have words with DS's teacher (nursery class) on Monday as over the weekend he had said he was sad that teacher had told him his surname didn't have an s on the end of it (think William instead of Williams). DS told her (good on him!) that it was Williams (example) but she had argued with him that it was William and he was Wrong. Grrrr.

This comes after the first official letter we got for DS back in June, which was addressed to DS William, at which point I contacted the office in writing and told them it was Williams. To find they were still doing it months later was very annoying - especially when it's a fairly common name!

DH said teacher was suitably apologetic and every time she's called his name in our presence since, she's put a very audible S on the end. As I would expect ;)

Bunbaker Fri 05-Oct-12 08:43:03

It sounds like the teacher had had a bad day. I still think her response was out of order.

This thread highlights one of the reasons why alternative spellings for well known names can cause problems.

CailinDana Fri 05-Oct-12 08:44:02

When I was teaching if a parent had said this to me, I would have been polite (I was always polite with parents) but I would secretly have thought you were a bit of a twat to be honest. It was one of the reasons I left teaching actually - I just couldn't handle the constant pressure to get every single thing perfect. It feels like as a teacher no one acknowledges the hours and hours and hours of hard work you put in, they just point out your tiny mistakes all the time. It wears you down so much. Teachers will usually check the register for a child's name if they're not sure about a spelling, but for a quick note home they will probably not have time to go to the office and get the register, and so will just go with their best guess. At this stage of the year if there are a few names that are not spelt a conventional way the teacher will still be getting used to them - she will know them off by heart by Christmas.

That said I do think she was unprofessional to talk to you like that, that is never acceptable.

GoSakuramachi Fri 05-Oct-12 09:05:17

YANBU. Unless its one of those "I made up my own spelling of a name cos I like it better even though it makes no sense" names.
One of my childrens names got spelled wrong the whole way through nursery, it never really bothered me, after all he couldn't read or write then so no real problem. If his teacher at school couldn't do it I'd point it out. It's only got 5 letters and is not unusual.

WildWorld2004 Fri 05-Oct-12 09:15:35

Im used to having people spell my name wrong. Or what some people do is add in a letter & make it a completely different name. My name isnt even unusual.

A class teacher should know how to spell their pupils names. OP that teacher was rude.

DeWe Fri 05-Oct-12 09:44:26

I had ds's year 1 teacher came up and asked me which was the correct spelling of his name, and half the things came up from year R with one spelling, the other with the other.
She asked ds and he said "sometimes it's spelt that way, other times the other way".

I've never worried when it's spelt wrong at this age, it's not really mattering, and ds thinks it's funny.

SlightlySuperiorPeasant Fri 05-Oct-12 10:39:58

YANBU. Even if your child had a ridiculous spelling like 'Skarlotte' the teacher should make the effort to get it right a) because they are teaching the children how to spell their names and b) to show respect for that child. Someone's name is their basic form of identification!

Anyway, mistakes happen but her response was awful and I would complain.

Tiggles Fri 05-Oct-12 10:48:14

YANBU at all.
When DS2 started the school nursery staff started abbreviating his name, I don't have a major problem with that. But they started teaching him to spell the abbreviation of his name rather than his full name, again not too much of a problem. Except they spelt it wrong. He has a standard boys name, with a standard 3 letter abbreviation.
Finally at the end of reception when they used the incorrectly spelt name in his report I wrote a note in and asked them to spell it correctly in the future. So far so good in year 1!
Why should a child have their name spelt wrong all the way through school.

HoneyMurcott Fri 05-Oct-12 11:04:15

I am always careful about spelling kids' names at school correctly because it is a simple matter of respect and courtesy. And yes, there may be a million different spellings of the same name, but so what? After a teacher has written the name a few times it is easy to remember. This teacher was completely out of order to react the way she did to you. My suggestion - consistently spell her own name incorrectly in letters to school and reply - you can't expect me to remember the correct spelling of every teacher in this school, can you if she challenges you. I wonder about her attitude to other things if she can't even get the basic details right. Her reaction should have been to apologize to you. YANBU.

freddiefrog Fri 05-Oct-12 11:13:21

YANBU!

When my DD1 first started school, they assumed her name was a shortened version of a very different name.

They asked me to have her hearing tested as she wasn't responding when they called her. Well, no, of course she wouldn't, she has no idea who you are talking to.

They were very apologetic and changed everything straight away

freemanbatch Fri 05-Oct-12 11:43:18

Being someone who generally likes to let things lie or maybe as my friend calls me someone who is a wuss, I haven't spoken to anyone at school and I'm not going to complain about her but if I receive anything else with the wrong spelling I am going to go to the office and ask to check that their records are correct rather than speak to the teacher.

I know mistakes happen and that was never the issue here it was her reaction that confused me. Thank you all for confirming I wasn't being totally unreasonable to mention it smile

MotownMummy Fri 05-Oct-12 11:46:26

YANBU. If you don't point it out now she'll always stay in the teacher's mind as the incorrectly spelled name, or at least that's what happened to us

oohlaalaa Fri 05-Oct-12 11:54:18

YANBU

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney Fri 05-Oct-12 11:56:07

Sounds like that teacher is very stressed and is reacting badly. I would speak to head of year and express your concerns over her reaction - shouting at you in front of other parents??? - not the initial mistake. If she is losing it with an adult, what is she doing in the classroom? Bawling in the kids faces? Maybe, maybe not but worth expressing a concern I think.

AThingInYourLife Fri 05-Oct-12 11:56:22

Probably just as well you left teaching, Cailín, if you couldn't memorise 30ish spellings within weeks.

It's a really easy peasy yet important part of the job.

PiedWagtail Fri 05-Oct-12 11:59:20

YANBU at all, she is being insane and is wrong. The school will have printed labels etc for your child all year - to put on every artwork etc etc - so it is worth making sure your dd's name is spelled correctly!!

IWantAnotherBaby Fri 05-Oct-12 12:02:41

DD who is 4, started reception 4 weeks ago. Her name is a classic one, with only one accepted spelling (although made-up versions now exist - like "Her-my-o-nee" instead of Hermione as an example).

They managed to spell it correctly on official paperwork, and her peg, but her bookbag and all books have had it spelt wrongly. I have crossed out the mis-spelling on each item and written the correct spelling clearly above it. Fortunately she is very confident with writing her own name. I have not yet mentioned it to the teachers (after all they see her reading diary etc every time she hands it in so they have plenty of opportunities to get the message), but I would if new items continue to be mis-labelled.

CailinDana Fri 05-Oct-12 12:44:32

Yes, A Thing, because what's important in teaching is that the teacher has the appearance of doing everything right so the parents have nothing to complain about. Things like spelling names correctly, when you're switching from one set of 30 names last year to another 30 names this year, are absolutely paramount, far more important than good teaching.

The fact that I have a first class PGCE and have been rated numerous times as outstanding by colleagues and OFSTED counts for nothing because I have difficulty remembering whether this year's child is Carolyn or Carolin or Carolynne.

I presume you've memorised the exact spelling of 30 names (some of which might be from a different nationality and so are spelt a lot differently to how they sound) loads of times? And that's why you think it's "easy peasy"?

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