to think it's just plain wrong to want change your DCs name by deed poll before their first birthday?

(64 Posts)
ButtonBoo Thu 04-Oct-12 21:39:43

Just that really.

A mum in my friends NCT group has said (seriously apparently) that they are looking into changing their DDs name by deed poll. She's 10mo. They think they've made a mistake in choosing her name and don't like it anymore. It's an uncommon name but not crazy weird.

Is this not just really odd? I know their baby, their choice etc but it's weird surely. Does anyone regret their name choices that much they'd deed poll change? Can this even happen before the childs 16yo?

ButtonBoo Mon 08-Oct-12 07:10:39

I think going from long to short versions is different although i understand some don't like long version and never want it mentioned/written in official docs etc. This is (as far as I can tell) going to be a complete change.

And I understand a name change more if it's after a few weeks or in the early months. Just at 10mo it made me a bit hmm

Still...I've been told IAU so I'll accept it. Not too proud to say when I'm wrong!!!

ModernToss Sun 07-Oct-12 11:35:19

I am in the same boat as musicposy, except that we never did anything about it. My son has always been known as short version and we never ever intended him to be known as long version (which is actually a different name). However my MIL went with DH to register the name, and insisted on long version (par for the course for her). Consequently for all official purposes he is known by a name he doesn't even answer to.

I wish we'd changed it.

Arabellasmella Sun 07-Oct-12 11:25:20

We changed our son's name at 6 months. You can do it with the registrar as long as they haven't been baptised. If they have then you can't.
Our son in called Barney. When he was born a friend asked me if it was short for Barnaby and I decided (on a whim) (I was heavily medicated at this point) that it would be a good idea to have a posh official name for him. But I started to hate it when people called him it, it just didn't suit him or us. So we changed it. He's now 10 and happy to be Barney.

PedanticPanda Sun 07-Oct-12 11:14:54

I know a couple who did this, they thought the name was unique but a few months later went online to check and seen it was very popular so changed it. The way I see it as it was their choice, nothing to do with me. Yabu.

dysfunctionalme Sun 07-Oct-12 11:07:44

Hi, I run a school and several children a year have their names changed so not weird at all.

SoleSource Sun 07-Oct-12 09:58:46

You are BU and odd to ne upset about a persons decision that does not harm another soul.

People make choices, shame you cannot wiyhout feeling worried what othets think.

foreverondiet Sun 07-Oct-12 07:58:27

Before 1st birthday you can just change it. Not odd and none of your business. We have always given babies loads of nicknames at that age can't see why makes a difference. I know several people who have announced name is "x" and then 2nd announcement a few weeks later that its now "y".

FamiliesShareGerms Sun 07-Oct-12 05:15:09

OP, I'm going to go against the grain here and agree with you that I think it's weird to completely change a ten month old's name. they will already recognise their name, so I really hope that the parents have already been using a nickname or the name that they will change to for some time, or that the name change is quite subtle, rather than a radical change overnight.

bissydissy Sun 07-Oct-12 05:03:28

I agree Englishwoman i really wanted a less common but not quirky name (like my own) as I have always really enjoyed being the only person I know (besidest my gran) with my name.

gymboy that's true - but there is a middle ground between unique and quirky (which I agree can be hard to live with as the individual "blessed" with a name that it often feels the parents gave to prove how unique and unconventional or special they are as parents rather than really being about the child living their life, going to school, getting a job, meeting new peers as a potentially awkward teen etc.with that name) and having the same name as somebody else in almost every group situation they ever find themselves in - my 7 year old veers between having fun with being one of 2 or 3 or 4 with her first name in every class/ friendship group/ sports club/ playground etc. and hating it - she tried to use her middle name for a bit but didn't like that people pronounce it differently (fairly ordinary name pronounced differently in different languages) here and also at then aged 6, having known almost everyone she sees day to day for at least 3 years, she couldn't really make calling her a new name catch on, so she reverted back to being XXXX surname all the time...

nickeldaisical Sat 06-Oct-12 10:42:06

music - i suppose it's because children don't have a proper papertrail like adults do - we've got letters and bank statements and loads of other things that we can use to prove that we go as.... but children don't.

gymboywalton Sat 06-Oct-12 10:29:26

i think people spend toomuch time trying to find a name that is unique or quirky and they forget about the realities of living with a quirky name. So once the baby is born and every other person you meet is doing a double take when they hear your baby's name, it doesn't feel good.

you should always remember that it's not the name that make s a child unique, it's the child themselves.

jock and bissy we had the same with DD's name, not Scottish but a pretty yet grown up, classic name which works in most languages (family from several countries/ languages), also unusual in the sense of not much used in the UK but not weird. We moved to Germany when she was 1.5 - her name might as well be "small girl child" - there are 4 little girls with the same name on our road, 2 in her class of 25 at school... I wished I'd called her by a longer name which her name is the first part of, but felt it was too late to change as she knew her name and it was "her" by that point... It's still not widely used in the UK though... We did the opposite with DC 3 and gave him an English name - he's unusual here but common in the UK hmm

Flojo1979 Sat 06-Oct-12 10:14:50

I don't get people who name their baby when he/she arrives, 'to see what they look like'.
You have 9 months to choose a name! I picked a name for DD shortly after 5 month scan when I found out what I was having, used it on bump for a couple of months and decided I didn't like it.

LadyHarrietdeSpook Fri 05-Oct-12 20:10:04

perfectstorm Fri 05-Oct-12 16:14:57
It's the sort of name that could annoy more, once it began to

Yes yes yes it could. They're making the right call (sorry if there are any Peggys on here....!)

musicposy Fri 05-Oct-12 18:04:13

Passport office did say they needed a deed poll, by the way, plus a letter of consent to the name change signed by both parents. Of course, we could have spoken another day and got another story, who knows! But one of the overriding factors for us was that last passport they said they could not issue it in her known as name, it had to be her birth certificate name. She was determined that this time round it would be in her proper shortversion name!

musicposy Fri 05-Oct-12 18:01:08

"I think if you really hate the long version of a name, then don't put it down. But if you don't mind it, but prefer the short version, put the long version down."

You see, we were in this position. I still think longversion of DD's name is a nice name. But at the end of the day, she hated it. I think that was just probably because we never called her it. Plus, the older she became, the more shortversion suited her and the more I really liked it. Longversion would not suit her at all now.

quietlysuggests we struggled with the barrister thing, like you! We thought she ought to have a proper, grown up name she could use if she ever wanted to become anything serious. Your DH is right, it just became confusing and inconvenient. Your DD can always change it if she ever wants to be a barrister and feels her name doesn't suit her profession! smile

I didn't know we didn't need a deed poll - we came up against enough hassle over the years to suggest it would be useful. Plus we were quite lucky, one of my best friends is a solicitor so it cost us the grand total of £0 grin

perceptionreality Fri 05-Oct-12 17:25:04

yabu - none of your business.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Fri 05-Oct-12 17:22:37

I think if you really hate the long version of a name, then don't put it down. But if you don't mind it, but prefer the short version, put the long version down.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Fri 05-Oct-12 17:19:44

Oooh I love Peggy. But I'd use Margaret as the given name.

IneedAsockamnesty Fri 05-Oct-12 17:17:51

i thought you could only change the name on birth cert if the child had been christened using a different name if that was not the case it was a deed poll.

ofcourse i could have made that up

nickeldaisical Fri 05-Oct-12 16:57:50

i missed the 1 off 12.

12 months

musicposy - you didn't need deedpoll if you're UK. as long as you can prove that she goes by shortversion then that's all you need to change her name - even the passport office only needs to know what her proper (ie the name she uses) name is.

nickeldaisical Fri 05-Oct-12 16:43:10
nickeldaisical Fri 05-Oct-12 16:41:39

It's plain wrong because you don't need deed poll.

the law is that you can change a child's name in the first 2 months and change the birth certificate (but not the surname)

the easiest way to do it is by baptism.

quietlysuggests Fri 05-Oct-12 16:25:34

Peggy is lovely
But also musicposy I love you
I called my dd the short version ofthe name but really felt that I should put down a long version of her name. Not that I ever thought of her as any of the long versions, its just something that I thought of.
But my DH was adament that since her name is what it is then putting down a long version of it that we have no intention of ever using is silly/inconvenient/redundant/confusing
So I am delighted to read your post, maybe its time to stop doubting our decision.
(And I do love the short name and never think of it needing a long name, I was just worried by all the threads here about ooh what if shes ever a barrister/marrying a princess...)

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