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AIBU?

to think it's just plain wrong to want change your DCs name by deed poll before their first birthday?

63 replies

ButtonBoo · 04/10/2012 21:39

Just that really.

A mum in my friends NCT group has said (seriously apparently) that they are looking into changing their DDs name by deed poll. She's 10mo. They think they've made a mistake in choosing her name and don't like it anymore. It's an uncommon name but not crazy weird.

Is this not just really odd? I know their baby, their choice etc but it's weird surely. Does anyone regret their name choices that much they'd deed poll change? Can this even happen before the childs 16yo?

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TidyGOLDDancer · 04/10/2012 21:43

Of course YABU. It's their business, and not for you to decide that it's 'just plain wrong'.

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Softlysoftly · 04/10/2012 21:43

Better now than when she's older.

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FriggFRIGG · 04/10/2012 21:45

I don't think you need to use deedpoll in the first year,you can just amend the birth certificate...


And yes YABU.

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elfycat · 04/10/2012 21:46

I thought you could change a DC's name before their first birthday without it being a deed poll thing.

It's not common but if they really regret the name it would be better to do it now. The DC can always change it later if they get version 2 wrong.

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TalkieToaster · 04/10/2012 21:46

I don't think it's odd at all, clearly they feel they've picked the wrong name and this is the only way to legally change that.

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TalkieToaster · 04/10/2012 21:47

Oooh, I didn't know that about the birth certificate/first year.

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CSIJanner · 04/10/2012 21:47

Someone from my baby group did this. They let their 4year old choose her baby brothers name, then regretted it the moment they left the registry office.

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Flojo1979 · 04/10/2012 21:47

I've never heard of this happening and I don't think its something I'd want to do, having to explain to ppl that she's not called this anymore she's called that but u guess if they r really unhappy with it for some reason then its better now.

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MeFour · 04/10/2012 21:47

I would have done this if DH had let me (with ds). It took me at least six months to get his name right. I eventually used a nickname until I got used to his name. It's his name now he's four but at 11 months I would have changed it to the name I mistakenly called him all the time

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MadStaringEyes · 04/10/2012 21:49

YABU, had I known I could.easily change a child under 1's name I really would have changed Ds1's. As it is I feel awful that he's stuck with a stupid, made up middle name.

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cocoaGOLDchannel · 04/10/2012 21:50

CSI did she go for Iggle-Piggle or Peppa?

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ButtonBoo · 04/10/2012 21:54

Not sure they know they might just be able to change it without deedpoll.

Yes, probably ABU eh? I was just a bit gobsmacked. It's a pretty kooky name and they just think they'd prefer something else.

I'm obviously just an opinionated moo!

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NameChangeGalore · 04/10/2012 21:57

My brothers name was changed after he was 6-7 months old. My mum was adamant about choosing a name with meaning, and she thought my brothers name was making him angry/unsettled. They changed it (don't know how, this was back in the 70s), and my mum used to say his character changed and he became calmer. Sometimes names don't suit a baby

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AKissIsNotAContract · 04/10/2012 21:58

What's her name?

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Haystack · 04/10/2012 22:01

I think YABU their baby has no real concept of it's name and it can be really important for a parent who is struggling with a name choice they regret. A member of my family did this twice with her 1st and 2nd child, it was something she did as she recovered from PND. Her children are now teens and it's never been an issue.

My 5 yr old changed her own name last year to her middle name when she got fed up of being 'haystack D' constantly (50% of the children at her birthday party had her name, there were 8 guests!). We've had some unpleasant comments and more than a little confusion, but in general everyone has coped well, she is happy and so are we and I really can't see why it is anyone else's business.

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Noqontrol · 04/10/2012 22:09

I don't think its odd. Better to do it now than wait. Sometimes you make the wrong choice and the name just doesn't suit.

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LaydeeC · 04/10/2012 22:11

Your friend's baby's forename(s) can be changed by completing a form at the Register Office up to a year from the date of the initial registration. She does not need to complete a deed poll. After a year, deed poll is the only way.

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SouthernComforts · 04/10/2012 22:12

Sorry to derail but what does NCT group mean? Keep seeing it on MN..

I didn't get to name my dd, I had an emergency c-section, and by the time I could go down to SCBU to see her my ex-p had already named her - her name was on all her notes etc, and sent messages to family/friends plus announced it on facebook - not a name I would have chosen. I just accepted it at the time, I was in shock, dd was extremely poorly, but it bothered me for a long time. Having said that I could never have officially changed her name, and now it just seems right.

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ParadiseMoresThePity · 04/10/2012 22:12

I know a couple who did that, baby was about 9 months at the time I think. I don't think its a big deal. Its odd in the sense that you don't hear about it happening very often but I don't think its weird in itself. Baby will soon get used to their new name, afterall babies get used to be called by a nickname instead of their proper name don't they?

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bumperella · 04/10/2012 22:13

I don't think it's odd, but it's defintiely unusual. I guess better now than later.

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Salmotrutta · 04/10/2012 22:24

MeFour - sorry to de-rail the thread but why were you unable to get your DS's name right?
Is your DH from another country and your DS has a non-UK name ... or something?

I'm obviously nosey - so no offence intended! Grin

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perfectstorm · 04/10/2012 22:28

I think it'd be a lot weirder to change it once the child was old enough to know/care. I sort of sympathise with them - they have to live with that name forever, and so does the child. If they are de-kooking, then maybe it's a good thing? (Depending on whether we're talking Alina or Apple degrees of unusual.)

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cerealqueen · 04/10/2012 22:28

NCT - National Childbirth Trust who provide birthing classes though most peope go to them to meet other mums who will be having babies at the same time, a ready made social circle to talk all things baby with.

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SouthernComforts · 04/10/2012 22:36

Thanks cerealqueen, never heard of those!

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OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 04/10/2012 22:41

Yabu.

And you have to tell us the name.

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