Because i dont bloody well think i am!

(273 Posts)
mosschops30 Thu 04-Oct-12 20:33:12

Was away for work sun- tues, dh looked after dcs but did nothing else, food on worktoos, no washing done etc.
So yesterday i tidy up as best i can (working full time) trying to catch up on washing.
Dh and ds1 on xbox as usal.
Same tonight, finished dinner, ds2 wants to go to bed and dh and ds1 sit down for an xbox game. So i am left with all the ckearing up, washing worktops, loading dishwasher etc.
Then i spyed ds1 jumper just thrown on kitchen floor and i asked him to come and pick it up, no repky so i said i woukd count to 3, then dh pipes up 'whoa hold on we're in the middle of a game.
At which point i really lost it, went into living room and attempted to turn tv off but dh blocked me (not pushing me just putting his arm up). Ds1 is laughing through all this which i think is pretty disgusting.
I told dh he should not be encouraging this behaviour of throwing your stuff on the floor and then laughing at your own mother.
Dh said i was 'psychotic' and 'totally out of order' and took ds1 up to our room where they have been since.

So am i out of order? I am friggin livid!

scottishmummy Wed 10-Oct-12 18:59:58

your lazy arse man isn't suddenly great for doing what he should do
don't be disproportionately grateful for him doing his bit
is this 1st mn post about him?or have you posted about him before

expatinscotland Wed 10-Oct-12 18:47:55

Pulling your fair weight in life is not 'helping out'.

snuffaluffagus Wed 10-Oct-12 18:32:42

I went out with someone who always refused to say sorry or admit he was wrong, he couldn't do physically do it! Drove me mad so I feel for you.

I'm glad he's started to help out more, he just needs to adjust his attitude a bit to match!

mosschops30 Wed 10-Oct-12 17:40:51

If you think i would accept a thump then you really do think i am dull. Been there done that!
Youre very bra-burney today.
And of course i was joking about the sex

JustFabulous Wed 10-Oct-12 10:45:09

I hope you were joking about him getting sex because he has done a few chores and made you a cup of tea.

Read this thread again and remind yourself of the vile things he has said to you.

Still want to shag him now?

Nanny0gg Wed 10-Oct-12 09:58:41

Do you think this 'good behaviour' will last? And don't you think it's ridiculous that all these things aren't a matter of course?
So he can be a 'good boy' for a bit and he gets his 'reward'?
It's your marriage, OP, but how much are you complicit in this attitude?

Eliza22 Wed 10-Oct-12 09:17:19

Your dh is an arse and worse, he's teaching your son to follow suit.

And he blocked you in your attempt to turn off the tv? What next, a push/shove/thump?

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.....

ike1 Tue 09-Oct-12 22:58:48

Yes lets hope it continues

Alibabaandthe40nappies Tue 09-Oct-12 22:56:11

You shouldn't be so excited, it should be a daily thing you don't even notice.

^^This

These are normal things in a healthy, loving relationship.

justmyview Tue 09-Oct-12 22:47:12

I'm cynical. I think he knows he's pushed you too far lately, so is on his best behaviour. Not convinced it'll last, but would be nice to be proved wrong.

Also wonder if you feel guilty for criticising him online (or were surprised at the reactions from others on here), so you're now trying to describe him in a better light to make him sound better. Again, would be nice to be proved wrong

Good luck whatever you do

boredandrestless Tue 09-Oct-12 21:27:50

Yes lets see what he is like in a week, then in a month.

I really hope he continues to do his fair share.

You shouldn't be so excited, it should be a daily thing you don't even notice.

What did you do about the Xbox? [nosy]

Smeghead Tue 09-Oct-12 21:21:30

Domt get too excited. Sorry to bring you down but the acid test is comparing today with the same date next month.

If he is still pullling his weight then its a win and I hope he is.

mosschops30 Tue 09-Oct-12 21:10:52

Just made me a cup of tea smile at this rate he might even get sex grin

RandomMess Tue 09-Oct-12 20:57:53

Sounds like he's conceded defeat without having to actually say he was in the wrong and apologising!

Jux Tue 09-Oct-12 20:23:11

Excellent. Well done, mosschops!

Perhaps he realised that if he didn't do anything for a week as he threatened, there really wouldn't be much difference!

Don't ease up. He has treated you with so little respect so don't accept a few nights of crumbs and then cave. He needs to grow up, and take responsibility for the environment in which he lives, just like any other grown up..

mosschops30 Tue 09-Oct-12 18:46:05

I took dd to work, he did all the clearing up, washed up, loaded dishwasher and put it on, tidied. I got home and bathed the boys.

Happy household for now smile

Charliefox Tue 09-Oct-12 18:46:05

Ok, different perspective and I expect to be shot down in flames for it but here goes. If my OH started telling me what I should and shouldn't be doing round the house and expecting me to do jobs at their say so, within their timeframe, I'd totally go on strike. You may want the bin taking out tonight but I'm actually not that arsed if the bin goes out tonight, I'd much rather fanny about on the Internet thanks. Have a massive tantrum if you like and play hardball but that bin isn't going anywhere. It's just different perspectives/priorities. Disclaimer - all the other stuff about undermining you, telling you he doesn't like you and you know where the door is, well fuck that for a game of soldiers. He could kiss my big fat flabby arse for shit like that.

Smeghead Tue 09-Oct-12 17:56:45

When your sister retired Digred they should have done 50/50, up until that point they had both been doing their set jobs, why should either of them get to sit around why the other one does all the work?

JustFabulous Tue 09-Oct-12 17:47:31

digerd - why exactly should your sister have being doing the hoovering once she retired?

Possession of testicles =/= an inability to hoover

Possession of vagina =/= enhanced ironing ability

HTH

DuelingFanjo Tue 09-Oct-12 17:27:48

"He's just being a male, he can't be anything else"

agreed, this is wrong. It's the same thing as 'I don't see mess' or 'you need to tell me what needs doing'

Bollox that allows people to get away with doing the minimum and leave it up to other people.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Tue 09-Oct-12 17:04:37

He's just being a male, he can't be anything else

Wrong.

This is the kind of bullshit that allows men like the OP's husband to justify their awful behaviour to themselves and everyone else.

digerd Tue 09-Oct-12 16:49:25

He's just being a male, he can't be anything else. Mind you, my sister went back to work when her 2 boys were 7&9, her dh took redundancy and became a stay at home dad, while my sister went back to work full-time. He did everything, including the alterations on the house and playing football with the ds in school hols, which my sister did not/could not do. She was well chuffed until she retired, and complained he did not touch the hoover afterwards and expected her to do it. And rightly so, I thought !!!!
Well done for getting round him, though, my sister did nothing

DuelingFanjo Tue 09-Oct-12 16:29:44

Have you asked him directly 'so do you think that you do a fair share of the household duties then?' or 'do you think that I do less than you do?' because I have found that a question like that usually gets a response of 'well I do know that you do more' which is a good way to lead into 'then can you see why I am so pissed off about it then?'.

Result - don't waiver and don't make a big deal about him doing it. He is not doing you a favour he is doing his fair share.

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