AIBU to feel really distressed about what I've been told has happened in my house

(139 Posts)
OnlyWantsOne Thu 04-Oct-12 17:19:24

We completed on our house this week. I went over there today ( had just picked keys up) to have a look round, see how much cleaning I need to do before we move in etc

There was a knock at the door. Old lady who lives down the road wanted to say hello etc and introduce herself.

I invited her in - she was telling me about bin days and reliable milk men, then she starts telling me about the people who lived there before. And then she says

"We'll you know, it was all very sad what happened"

Me, intrigued "really? What was?"

It turns out a baby was murdered in my house 25 years ago. I very small baby - this woman told me how, etc and in which room (my bedroom)

I'm moving in with 3 small children, my 6 week old being the youngest.

I just feel distressed she's told me. I wish she hadn't. I'm not easily spooked or concerned with ghosties etc but I just feel very sad about the whole thing now.

Hmmm

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Thu 04-Oct-12 20:39:27

The thing is, most houses that are twenty plus years old have had some form of death in them..obviously a murder is more distressng but it's part of life.

We walk down streets and through fields regularly where people have fought, been killed, had battles...it's the way it is.

OrangeandGoldMrsDeVere Thu 04-Oct-12 20:42:58

My DD died in our house. In the living room.

I know its not the same as what allegedly happened in your house but my house does not feel spooky or sad. It is filled with love.

And bear in mind that horrible, terrible things have been said about parents who have lost children to SIDS in the past. People make things up. It is entirely possible that this baby died from SIDS or an illness and nasty gossips have created this myth.

TalkinPeace2 Thu 04-Oct-12 20:43:41

Be VERY sceptical

House we bought I knew had an 'interesting' history as there were still knife marks in the doors and blood on the walls when we moved in.

But the amount of scurrilous rumours people were willing to spread was astounding!

wasabipeanut Thu 04-Oct-12 20:44:34

Oh you poor thing,I can understand why you'd be upset. When we moved into our house 3 years ago our neighbour told the removal men that somebody hanged themselves in the 60's in the large garden shed that still stands.i was a bit freaked out then figured that given the house dates back to 1880 that was almost certainly not the only death that has occurred within it. The thought of a baby being murdered is terribly distressing though.

However, a house is just bricks and people make a house. No matter how much sadness has gone before you can make it a wonderful home full of love and laughter.

RosemaryHoyt Thu 04-Oct-12 20:47:05

Old bastard. God some people are objectionable. All good suggestions above, but I'd start screwing with the old biddy and asking for number for exorcists.

justmyview Thu 04-Oct-12 20:48:09

Some very sad stories on here ..........am I the only one who is now wondering if anyone died in their house ?

OnlyWantsOne Thu 04-Oct-12 20:49:35

Mrsdevere - I'm sorry about your daughter sad

I think I just feel very hormonal and teary at times and to just hear some thing So sad has shocked me. I am going to do a tad bit of research and see if its possibly true then shall take it from there. Will plant a rosemary too x

TalkinPeace2 Thu 04-Oct-12 20:50:06

justmyview
if your house is older than roughly 1930, chances are yes, as hospital deaths were the exception rather than the norm until nearly WW2

AmIthatbad Thu 04-Oct-12 20:50:28

What a charmer. I would avoid this new neighbour like the plague. I've lived in a few old houses, and never thought about what went on before. Maybe if I actually knew, I would feel differently though

And FWIW Nelly I noticed the poster commenting that your post was "horrible" and thought confused what is she reading?

I thought your post was absolutely fine

OTTMummA Thu 04-Oct-12 20:52:45

Every house has a history, except new builds of course. The woman sounds like a gossip, she probably embellished a story about a tragic accident, but even so you would of heard it from someone in the street at some time in the future, it's just more of an impact because you have a wee one yourself and probably had lots of positive thoughts about the house. For what it's worth, my house is over 300yrs old and the garden backs onto a graveyard, which is separated by a small wall which has loads of brambly bushes on the other side, I cleared them out in august and found loads of baby graves sad dating from 1700's onwards, clearly the used to put all the children and babies together, it was so sad them being covered up and forgotten that I tided up the graves and put some wild flowers down.

bringmeroses Thu 04-Oct-12 20:54:00

I guess someone's likely to have done in ours being around 100 years old. But let's hope they had a great time here before that happened. What a sad story - and how mean of her to tell you in her welcome to the neighbourhood chat!! Would it make you feel better to find out more about it? Other posters are right, you can bring a lot of love into the house now it is your new home.

justmyview Thu 04-Oct-12 20:54:55

TalkinPeace2 - yes our house is late 19th century, so I guess it is quite likely

OrangeandGoldMrsDeVere Thu 04-Oct-12 20:55:43

Dowager another dissenter here smile
There is a lady who lives in the next road who lived in my house when it was first built. She is in her 80s.
She bought round some photos for me. She wanted the house but was not allocated it by the council and I always feel a bit guilty.

She eventually told me that she had a sister who died at about the same age as my DD sad. From what she has described about her illness it is even possible she died of the same thing (in those days death from leukemia was pretty quick as there was no treatment)

It was very sad to hear but at the same time I felt a sort of connection to her and the house where her mother had mourned the loss of her daughter.

OrangeandGoldMrsDeVere Thu 04-Oct-12 20:56:21

Sorry! Forgot to say I live in London!

HermioneE Thu 04-Oct-12 20:58:55

Your horrible neighbour has only told you one thing that happened in your house (that may not even be true). Think of how many good things have happened in your house too. It's just as inevitable as the sad things. Some happy woman probably spent the night before her wedding there and couldn't sleep from excitement. Friends have bonded and hugged and sworn they will be friends forever. Dinner parties have happened where people cried and fell off their chairs from laughing. Champagne corks have been popped at New Year. Your house has happy memories too smile

gallifrey Thu 04-Oct-12 21:01:16

Same happened to us when we bought our house, the previous owners brother came to give us some keys and then told us his brother in law dropped down dead in the kitchen!
We didn't move in for another 2 weeks as we were so scared and I hated going downstairs to the kitchen at night. Totally ruined that house for us although nothing spooky ever happened.

CupsofTeaAndHandfulsOfCake Thu 04-Oct-12 21:04:25

WeAreSix I heard that too, about the windows.
You would know when you looked at the house if there were any horrible feelings in it.
The fact that you didn't feel anything bad means it is the right house for you.
Just do the candle or Rosemary tree thing and make good family memories there.

EdMcDunnough Thu 04-Oct-12 21:05:31

I know a family who moved into, and renovated completely, a house where an old man had died alone and not been found for several days sad

They are nice people with young children and don't seem bothered by it. In fact there was such a houseful of stuff left behind, that they had to have the place cleared - and I ended up buying some of his things, which felt very sad but also like they would finally be used. We still have some of them - got rid of the piano a long while ago as it was untuneable, but other bits and bobs and I always think fondly of the chap when I use them.

I never knew him. I think I used to see him around; he had lived there since he was a little boy sad

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Thu 04-Oct-12 21:06:26

MrsDevere that's very moving. Nice that she was able to share the pics.

MarthasHarbour Thu 04-Oct-12 21:08:22

nelly and terra i was going to call her a cunt too but am too scared hmm

i agree that she was probably batting all the other nosey neighbours out of her path to tell you first. if you have a 6 month old then you are still in the throes of being post natal so you are naturally upset

i agree about lighting a candle for the baby hugs

MarthasHarbour Thu 04-Oct-12 21:08:55

right that wasnt supposed to be a link - just a hug!

Mayisout Thu 04-Oct-12 21:10:36

Looking online it says 1,500 children are killed by their parents a year. So let's guess that half died in their own homes, so 750 x 25 (years) that's 18,750.

So there are lots of homes which could have had a sad death in them -- therefore I think it's silly to worry about it. Just concentrate on your own little treasures and maybe give a donation to charity for other less fortunate babies.

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Thu 04-Oct-12 21:11:19

What did wearesix say about the windows?? I can't find it?

Can I just point out that we don't have mental 'asylums' any more. The idea that somebody was sectioned 25 years ago and was never let out is a bit hmm

brighthair Thu 04-Oct-12 21:14:27

A pub I used to live in (outs self) was a courthouse, they used to try and hang people there. The mortuary was under where the kitchen was. There's also a landmark to a man who was shot by the old landlord many many years ago
I was so so happy there as was the rest of my family. We had a ghost who used to move things in a nice way - nicknamed Matthew. You could shout "Matthew, where the hell have you put my hairbrush?!" and hairbrush would then turn up in front of you grin
Was a very very happy chaotic family home and I never felt freaked out living there even as a child

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